[ when kaiser asphyxiates himself, it's because he's chasing the sensation of mental clarity that follows; this has exactly the opposite effect. his thoughts are hazy for a few moments too long, but kaiser can't even bring himself to get upset over it when the emotion won't form properly in his head. once the post-orgasm haze begins to clear up, though, one could not be blamed for thinking that kaiser just went through something completely different, because his first reaction is to bring his hands up to his face, over his eyes, and then to make a sound reminiscent of a wounded animal.
horrible. horrible. not the blowjob, that was like a fundamentally different experience than any of the youthful fumbling about kaiser has done in the past. and that's exactly what is so horrible, kaiser feels like he just unlocked a spectrum of feelings that he previously was unaware that he could feel. they all felt pretty damn good, which is terrible. it's a bad day to be a repressed, masochistic young german man who just discovered that you actually can feel good in a normal and straightforward way...
the good thing about this is that he can't immediately witness the state he left noa in, or else he would crash out even harder. he groans into his palms again, rubbing his fingers into his eyes slightly as if he thinks this will somehow help in any way. no aftercare is perfectly fine with him — it's preferred, even. after another moment to wallow, kaiser sighs with far more world-weariness than any nineteen-year-old should have before reaching down to tuck his dick away. he doesn't care if it's still damp and uncomfortable under his clothing, he instinctively feels that he should protect the little emperor from further treatment, whether good or bad.
kaiser tricks himself mentally into thinking that he is now in a more secure position than before and forces himself to sit up. he glances over at noa, staring owlishly as noa drinks from his water bottle. internally he debates saying the worst thing that pops into his mind, but (1) nothing comes to mind, and (2) he immediately realizes the folly in that. maybe after a few more orgasms, kaiser's self-preservation instinct will be factory reset and return to something acceptably normal? ]
[ please, just let him get the humiliation over with. kaiser's gaze drifts downwards and good lord, he doesn't want to feel relieved that noa's probably still interested, but a part of him feels like he's going to get told about the virtue of patience again... ]
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horrible. horrible. not the blowjob, that was like a fundamentally different experience than any of the youthful fumbling about kaiser has done in the past. and that's exactly what is so horrible, kaiser feels like he just unlocked a spectrum of feelings that he previously was unaware that he could feel. they all felt pretty damn good, which is terrible. it's a bad day to be a repressed, masochistic young german man who just discovered that you actually can feel good in a normal and straightforward way...
the good thing about this is that he can't immediately witness the state he left noa in, or else he would crash out even harder. he groans into his palms again, rubbing his fingers into his eyes slightly as if he thinks this will somehow help in any way. no aftercare is perfectly fine with him — it's preferred, even. after another moment to wallow, kaiser sighs with far more world-weariness than any nineteen-year-old should have before reaching down to tuck his dick away. he doesn't care if it's still damp and uncomfortable under his clothing, he instinctively feels that he should protect the little emperor from further treatment, whether good or bad.
kaiser tricks himself mentally into thinking that he is now in a more secure position than before and forces himself to sit up. he glances over at noa, staring owlishly as noa drinks from his water bottle. internally he debates saying the worst thing that pops into his mind, but (1) nothing comes to mind, and (2) he immediately realizes the folly in that. maybe after a few more orgasms, kaiser's self-preservation instinct will be factory reset and return to something acceptably normal? ]
So... [ kaiser on the verge of going through this entire tiktok: ] Shall I hold up my end, then?
[ please, just let him get the humiliation over with. kaiser's gaze drifts downwards and good lord, he doesn't want to feel relieved that noa's probably still interested, but a part of him feels like he's going to get told about the virtue of patience again... ]