[ perhaps one day noa will have to reflect on the consequences of his actions. when that day comes, almost certainly after he leaves japan, he will come to the conclusion that when one fucks around they are always bound to find out.
in the present he's too busy with a cock in his mouth and a writhing body torn between chasing pleasure and retreating from it. he firms his grip on hip and thigh, groaning gently when his hair is pulled and his head reined in with it, and remains patient as kaiser's climax nears. the uncoordinated movement means he can't predict when he can expect the head to hit against the wall of his throat versus when it will retract back to the base of his tongue. if he didn't have practice doing this before, he would have absolutely choked and had to pull away at this juncture. as it stands, his fingers tense when kaiser curls in and he blinks rapidly as he feels his eyes tearing up from the strain on his gag reflex. if kaiser can hear anything past his own groans, it'll be a heaving guttural rasp out of noa's throat that vibrates through his mouth and around the hardened flesh in his mouth.
but god, the horrific symphony of sounds from kaiser - like getting struck by lightning, a rapid electric current rippling through his nervous system accompanied by cum shooting down his throat. even as kaiser may try to press his legs and pull back from the orgasm, as if such a thing could be accomplished, noa automatically braces and pushes right back to keep him open. he has no choice but to hollow his cheeks out as much as his face permits to suck and swallow the rolling waves expelled. unfortunately for kaiser, vocalizing like he may be about to die, noa can't remember the last time he was so turned on. nothing has physically been done to him through all of this, but he can feel his dick straining tightly under his pants.
it never lasts as long as anyone thinks it will, though that may not be true for someone who can count his sexual experiences on a single hand. regardless, as kaiser's body starts to settle down from squirming and writhing, noa slowly pulls back and swirls his tongue just before he wetly pops the head from his mouth. he inhales rough and a hand jerks up to his throat as he heaves a string of dry and ragged cough. now that it's over, he can feel the muscles in his jaw tighten and ache, fingers touching and feeling how swollen his throat is. fuck, it's been a while since he's gotten this intense with a partner.
he pulls his body back entirely and swings his stiff legs over the bed, planting his feet to the ground as he gathers his bearings. if kaiser is expecting any after care, it's not going to be in the immediate. in fact - he's going to get up and grab his water bottle off the console, taking a few sips before continuing to clear his throat with coughs. lukewarm water washes down the salty metallic bitter of cum still clinging to the membrane, and he half-wonders if some of it went down the wrong pipe. ]
[ when kaiser asphyxiates himself, it's because he's chasing the sensation of mental clarity that follows; this has exactly the opposite effect. his thoughts are hazy for a few moments too long, but kaiser can't even bring himself to get upset over it when the emotion won't form properly in his head. once the post-orgasm haze begins to clear up, though, one could not be blamed for thinking that kaiser just went through something completely different, because his first reaction is to bring his hands up to his face, over his eyes, and then to make a sound reminiscent of a wounded animal.
horrible. horrible. not the blowjob, that was like a fundamentally different experience than any of the youthful fumbling about kaiser has done in the past. and that's exactly what is so horrible, kaiser feels like he just unlocked a spectrum of feelings that he previously was unaware that he could feel. they all felt pretty damn good, which is terrible. it's a bad day to be a repressed, masochistic young german man who just discovered that you actually can feel good in a normal and straightforward way...
the good thing about this is that he can't immediately witness the state he left noa in, or else he would crash out even harder. he groans into his palms again, rubbing his fingers into his eyes slightly as if he thinks this will somehow help in any way. no aftercare is perfectly fine with him — it's preferred, even. after another moment to wallow, kaiser sighs with far more world-weariness than any nineteen-year-old should have before reaching down to tuck his dick away. he doesn't care if it's still damp and uncomfortable under his clothing, he instinctively feels that he should protect the little emperor from further treatment, whether good or bad.
kaiser tricks himself mentally into thinking that he is now in a more secure position than before and forces himself to sit up. he glances over at noa, staring owlishly as noa drinks from his water bottle. internally he debates saying the worst thing that pops into his mind, but (1) nothing comes to mind, and (2) he immediately realizes the folly in that. maybe after a few more orgasms, kaiser's self-preservation instinct will be factory reset and return to something acceptably normal? ]
[ please, just let him get the humiliation over with. kaiser's gaze drifts downwards and good lord, he doesn't want to feel relieved that noa's probably still interested, but a part of him feels like he's going to get told about the virtue of patience again... ]
[ those noises would be worrying if it were anyone but kaiser. if he was a younger man he'd wonder if he even did a good job, though never ask because god if that wouldn't be so mortifying. as he is now, noa doesn't have any outward reaction to kaiser going through the five stages of grief in under a minute. for one, he's too busy still sipping from his water and roughly clearing his throat. for another...
it's a little too relatable. noa understands kaiser is deeply repressed and averse to any touch he doesn't initiate, and it's like looking from the outside in at his own experience as a repressed youth. with his tank build, stoic attitude, and a face that made him look a few years older than he was, everyone in the youth academy thought noa was getting the most action. it wasn't uncommon to go out for a night to the club and catch the attention of women who meant business, so the rumors were never-ending. in reality, noa never perceived himself as someone with sexual urges until he began fooling around with jin. the first time they had sex, jin insisted he be on top and it was... terrible, so good, disgusting, mind numbing. noa felt like a feral beast who had just gotten a chunk bitten out of him, bleeding and dying crushed into the mattress, yet the euphoria cascading over his body told another story.
he doesn't think he made the noises kaiser did now, but he remembers clawing the sheets and groaning into the pillow trapped between bodily pleasure and mental anguish. jin raked nails down his back while panting like a fevered dog, his voice all too pleased when he asked how he felt, and noa wanted to killed him with his bare hands.
noa breathes in and wipes the sweat off his brow, shaking the hand of his hand off before turning to look at kaiser. he almost wants to ask if kaiser can really handle it, because he looks so very awful right now, but he thinks better than to insult a wounded animal. ]
Sure. [ his voice is hoarse and ragged and he doesn't even try to disguise it before stepping back to the bed. the bulge in his sweatpants is all the more evident when he sits. ] Just don't deep throat like I did. You'll choke.
[ he's not trying to insult him but! he will choke. noa hasn't done that in a while and he barely made it through. it's a technique and a first-timer will be very sorry for attempting it. ]
[ let it be known that if kaiser was aware that he was causing noa to have a flashback moment through his personal lore and relating to kaiser's experiences through it, kaiser would make the five stages of grief look funny and inconsequential in how he'd react to that information. ]
You choked me earlier, what's the difference.
[ normal people see an obvious difference here. anyways, let kaiser make his youthful mistakes! the suffering builds character. the real question is if kaiser will ever stop building character, at this rate.
he slides off of the bed himself; he'll do this the old fashioned way, on his knees, between noa's legs. he does not love this positioning, but it's the most stable and least risky. his expression as he pulls at the waistband of noa's sweats is so solemn and focused that it looks more like he's pulled up at the exam of his lifetime, which is ironic — he felt fairly nonchalant before the practice match that got him into bastard münchen officially. he leans forwards to observe what he's about to put in his mouth, when a thought occurs to him— ]
Hold my hair back, it'll get in the way.
[ it's just long enough in the front to hang into his face annoyingly if he has to look down... good thing he doesn't need to look down to keep track of the ball. ]
[ and he is not interested in explaining this to kaiser, he can figure it out if he thinks about it for a few minutes.
there's no reaction in seeing kaiser sink to his knees and he lifts slightly off the bed to ease the pull down. the cool air wafting through the room feels nice when his member is freed, fingers tensing momentarily before it normalizes. he can't tell what's going through kaiser's head in the moment, but decides it doesn't matter. they've crossed so many boundaries tonight, what's one more? bad decisions compounding on one another and earning interest over stretched out minutes. it's too late and neither of them will sleep well tonight.
noa obliges the request and sweeps his hands on either side of kaiser's head, lifting blond strands and gently pulling them back while threading his fingers through the scalp to hold them in place. it's easier to see kaiser's face from this position and watch his next move, knowing what's about to happen but not how. ]
[ to be fair, noa doesn't need to explain it. kaiser knows, he just doesn't want to admit it. ]
Firmly.
[ because his hair tends to go flyaway very easily, not because he's into getting his hair pulled. maybe he is into it, but that has nothing to do with the request! even before that, though, this is a great vantage point for a rare occurrence ever since he finished his growth spurt: michael kaiser glaring upwards, with intensity only a few notches lower than when he's visually lining up a shot.
he has to consider his angle here, but in the end, he decides to play things safe to start out and gauge where he should go with a measured amount of consideration. kaiser places a hand on noa's leg, high up the thigh, and circles the fingers of his other hand around the base of his cock, parting his lips to primly take noa's cock into his mouth and licking roughly at the very tip. he breathes in through his nose, mouth hollowing as he tilts his head so he can wrap his lips around the head of it. instead of sinking his mouth onto noa's dick right away, though, he'll go with the opposite approach — he runs his hand along the underside of noa's member with a touch that can only be described as calculating: some people forget with the power of his shots that they should also be impressed by his precise and deliberative nature. he wants to get a feel of what he's working with here first, to map out mentally the shape and dimensions, like a normal person would. ]
[ his fingers pull back and then push in again, re-threading the strands between his fingers and curling them into a firmer pull. noa likes the glare, has always liked kaiser best when he's at his most focused. a criticism he won't voice is he thinks kaiser gets fired up too easily, when he should instead simmer down and approach his situation with calculated chill. it's a simpler matter to do in a controlled environment compared to being on pitch with twenty other players coming at you from all different directions. right now it's only the two of them and the intensity that comes with the push and pull of a one on one.
if kaiser is a very normal person for approaching a blowjob with meticulous calculation, then noa is equally normal for focusing on kaiser like he's an animal at the zoo. he feels the sensations of course, the texture of the tongue scraping against the head, fingers mapping his cock, but they are happening to him and also to someone else entirely. this isn't exclusive to kaiser's approach, but simply how noa is always trapped in his own head. it takes a lot for his mind to turn off and just be in the moment, experience what he's feeling for what it is and not dwell on what it means. this is far more true when he's not the one initiating or taking charge of the action.
he's not going to tell kaiser what to do though. that would taint the entire point of this little tryst. he wants to see what kaiser thinks and does and gauge what he thinks it even means to service someone else. of course he should then expect an evaluation at the end of this, even if it's a short one. ]
[ kaiser is absolutely aware that he is getting a post-blowjob evaluation from this, and if anything, he will be more relieved if it's spoken out loud. because if it's really bad, then he imagines noa will say nothing at all because he has no expectations of kaiser anymore, leaving kaiser to stew in his own mind over where he went so wrong — and there's no worse place for kaiser to be but in his own mind. as for why he thinks noa would do that? well, it's what kaiser would do, unfortunately.
he doesn't expect guidance, and would probably be upset if noa tried to provide it. he also is telling himself that he doesn't care whatever is going through noa's deranged mind, he just has to focus on the task at and in hand. for all of kaiser's physical freak attributes, he is aware that he has a gag reflex — a weaker one than average, but it's there. kaiser has also never tried to cram anything particularly large of note down his mouth before because he has been chronically lazy every time somebody made the mistake of trying to do anything sexual with him. he is floating into uncharted territory here; he needs to
is it strange to have a thing against opening his mouth too wide? if it is, kaiser doesn't want to know, but he feels like it's weirdly uncivilized, perhaps because he's made up some fake concept of demureness in his mind. reluctantly, he drops his jaw, the entire center of gravity in his body shifting slightly as he readjusts his posture to lean in, sticking his tongue out slightly as he begins to bob his head up and down at a steady, controlled pace, pushing noa's dick further into his mouth with every forward movement. he is telling himself he has pretty privilege, so this doesn't look awkward, everything he does is hot, actually. he's just about got his mouth filled up when kaiser abruptly draws back and looks up, expression dire. ]
This is warm-up. [ so they're on the same page... ] This doesn't count.
[ count for what?? well, in deranged world where everything is a competition... because that's where kaiser lives. and unfortunately, noa lives down the street. ]
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no subject
in the present he's too busy with a cock in his mouth and a writhing body torn between chasing pleasure and retreating from it. he firms his grip on hip and thigh, groaning gently when his hair is pulled and his head reined in with it, and remains patient as kaiser's climax nears. the uncoordinated movement means he can't predict when he can expect the head to hit against the wall of his throat versus when it will retract back to the base of his tongue. if he didn't have practice doing this before, he would have absolutely choked and had to pull away at this juncture. as it stands, his fingers tense when kaiser curls in and he blinks rapidly as he feels his eyes tearing up from the strain on his gag reflex. if kaiser can hear anything past his own groans, it'll be a heaving guttural rasp out of noa's throat that vibrates through his mouth and around the hardened flesh in his mouth.
but god, the horrific symphony of sounds from kaiser - like getting struck by lightning, a rapid electric current rippling through his nervous system accompanied by cum shooting down his throat. even as kaiser may try to press his legs and pull back from the orgasm, as if such a thing could be accomplished, noa automatically braces and pushes right back to keep him open. he has no choice but to hollow his cheeks out as much as his face permits to suck and swallow the rolling waves expelled. unfortunately for kaiser, vocalizing like he may be about to die, noa can't remember the last time he was so turned on. nothing has physically been done to him through all of this, but he can feel his dick straining tightly under his pants.
it never lasts as long as anyone thinks it will, though that may not be true for someone who can count his sexual experiences on a single hand. regardless, as kaiser's body starts to settle down from squirming and writhing, noa slowly pulls back and swirls his tongue just before he wetly pops the head from his mouth. he inhales rough and a hand jerks up to his throat as he heaves a string of dry and ragged cough. now that it's over, he can feel the muscles in his jaw tighten and ache, fingers touching and feeling how swollen his throat is. fuck, it's been a while since he's gotten this intense with a partner.
he pulls his body back entirely and swings his stiff legs over the bed, planting his feet to the ground as he gathers his bearings. if kaiser is expecting any after care, it's not going to be in the immediate. in fact - he's going to get up and grab his water bottle off the console, taking a few sips before continuing to clear his throat with coughs. lukewarm water washes down the salty metallic bitter of cum still clinging to the membrane, and he half-wonders if some of it went down the wrong pipe. ]
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horrible. horrible. not the blowjob, that was like a fundamentally different experience than any of the youthful fumbling about kaiser has done in the past. and that's exactly what is so horrible, kaiser feels like he just unlocked a spectrum of feelings that he previously was unaware that he could feel. they all felt pretty damn good, which is terrible. it's a bad day to be a repressed, masochistic young german man who just discovered that you actually can feel good in a normal and straightforward way...
the good thing about this is that he can't immediately witness the state he left noa in, or else he would crash out even harder. he groans into his palms again, rubbing his fingers into his eyes slightly as if he thinks this will somehow help in any way. no aftercare is perfectly fine with him — it's preferred, even. after another moment to wallow, kaiser sighs with far more world-weariness than any nineteen-year-old should have before reaching down to tuck his dick away. he doesn't care if it's still damp and uncomfortable under his clothing, he instinctively feels that he should protect the little emperor from further treatment, whether good or bad.
kaiser tricks himself mentally into thinking that he is now in a more secure position than before and forces himself to sit up. he glances over at noa, staring owlishly as noa drinks from his water bottle. internally he debates saying the worst thing that pops into his mind, but (1) nothing comes to mind, and (2) he immediately realizes the folly in that. maybe after a few more orgasms, kaiser's self-preservation instinct will be factory reset and return to something acceptably normal? ]
So... [ kaiser on the verge of going through this entire tiktok: ] Shall I hold up my end, then?
[ please, just let him get the humiliation over with. kaiser's gaze drifts downwards and good lord, he doesn't want to feel relieved that noa's probably still interested, but a part of him feels like he's going to get told about the virtue of patience again... ]
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it's a little too relatable. noa understands kaiser is deeply repressed and averse to any touch he doesn't initiate, and it's like looking from the outside in at his own experience as a repressed youth. with his tank build, stoic attitude, and a face that made him look a few years older than he was, everyone in the youth academy thought noa was getting the most action. it wasn't uncommon to go out for a night to the club and catch the attention of women who meant business, so the rumors were never-ending. in reality, noa never perceived himself as someone with sexual urges until he began fooling around with jin. the first time they had sex, jin insisted he be on top and it was... terrible, so good, disgusting, mind numbing. noa felt like a feral beast who had just gotten a chunk bitten out of him, bleeding and dying crushed into the mattress, yet the euphoria cascading over his body told another story.
he doesn't think he made the noises kaiser did now, but he remembers clawing the sheets and groaning into the pillow trapped between bodily pleasure and mental anguish. jin raked nails down his back while panting like a fevered dog, his voice all too pleased when he asked how he felt, and noa wanted to killed him with his bare hands.
noa breathes in and wipes the sweat off his brow, shaking the hand of his hand off before turning to look at kaiser. he almost wants to ask if kaiser can really handle it, because he looks so very awful right now, but he thinks better than to insult a wounded animal. ]
Sure. [ his voice is hoarse and ragged and he doesn't even try to disguise it before stepping back to the bed. the bulge in his sweatpants is all the more evident when he sits. ] Just don't deep throat like I did. You'll choke.
[ he's not trying to insult him but! he will choke. noa hasn't done that in a while and he barely made it through. it's a technique and a first-timer will be very sorry for attempting it. ]
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You choked me earlier, what's the difference.
[ normal people see an obvious difference here. anyways, let kaiser make his youthful mistakes! the suffering builds character. the real question is if kaiser will ever stop building character, at this rate.
he slides off of the bed himself; he'll do this the old fashioned way, on his knees, between noa's legs. he does not love this positioning, but it's the most stable and least risky. his expression as he pulls at the waistband of noa's sweats is so solemn and focused that it looks more like he's pulled up at the exam of his lifetime, which is ironic — he felt fairly nonchalant before the practice match that got him into bastard münchen officially. he leans forwards to observe what he's about to put in his mouth, when a thought occurs to him— ]
Hold my hair back, it'll get in the way.
[ it's just long enough in the front to hang into his face annoyingly if he has to look down... good thing he doesn't need to look down to keep track of the ball. ]
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[ and he is not interested in explaining this to kaiser, he can figure it out if he thinks about it for a few minutes.
there's no reaction in seeing kaiser sink to his knees and he lifts slightly off the bed to ease the pull down. the cool air wafting through the room feels nice when his member is freed, fingers tensing momentarily before it normalizes. he can't tell what's going through kaiser's head in the moment, but decides it doesn't matter. they've crossed so many boundaries tonight, what's one more? bad decisions compounding on one another and earning interest over stretched out minutes. it's too late and neither of them will sleep well tonight.
noa obliges the request and sweeps his hands on either side of kaiser's head, lifting blond strands and gently pulling them back while threading his fingers through the scalp to hold them in place. it's easier to see kaiser's face from this position and watch his next move, knowing what's about to happen but not how. ]
no subject
Firmly.
[ because his hair tends to go flyaway very easily, not because he's into getting his hair pulled. maybe he is into it, but that has nothing to do with the request! even before that, though, this is a great vantage point for a rare occurrence ever since he finished his growth spurt: michael kaiser glaring upwards, with intensity only a few notches lower than when he's visually lining up a shot.
he has to consider his angle here, but in the end, he decides to play things safe to start out and gauge where he should go with a measured amount of consideration. kaiser places a hand on noa's leg, high up the thigh, and circles the fingers of his other hand around the base of his cock, parting his lips to primly take noa's cock into his mouth and licking roughly at the very tip. he breathes in through his nose, mouth hollowing as he tilts his head so he can wrap his lips around the head of it. instead of sinking his mouth onto noa's dick right away, though, he'll go with the opposite approach — he runs his hand along the underside of noa's member with a touch that can only be described as calculating: some people forget with the power of his shots that they should also be impressed by his precise and deliberative nature. he wants to get a feel of what he's working with here first, to map out mentally the shape and dimensions, like a normal person would. ]
no subject
if kaiser is a very normal person for approaching a blowjob with meticulous calculation, then noa is equally normal for focusing on kaiser like he's an animal at the zoo. he feels the sensations of course, the texture of the tongue scraping against the head, fingers mapping his cock, but they are happening to him and also to someone else entirely. this isn't exclusive to kaiser's approach, but simply how noa is always trapped in his own head. it takes a lot for his mind to turn off and just be in the moment, experience what he's feeling for what it is and not dwell on what it means. this is far more true when he's not the one initiating or taking charge of the action.
he's not going to tell kaiser what to do though. that would taint the entire point of this little tryst. he wants to see what kaiser thinks and does and gauge what he thinks it even means to service someone else. of course he should then expect an evaluation at the end of this, even if it's a short one. ]
no subject
he doesn't expect guidance, and would probably be upset if noa tried to provide it. he also is telling himself that he doesn't care whatever is going through noa's deranged mind, he just has to focus on the task at and in hand. for all of kaiser's physical freak attributes, he is aware that he has a gag reflex — a weaker one than average, but it's there. kaiser has also never tried to cram anything particularly large of note down his mouth before because he has been chronically lazy every time somebody made the mistake of trying to do anything sexual with him. he is floating into uncharted territory here; he needs to
is it strange to have a thing against opening his mouth too wide? if it is, kaiser doesn't want to know, but he feels like it's weirdly uncivilized, perhaps because he's made up some fake concept of demureness in his mind. reluctantly, he drops his jaw, the entire center of gravity in his body shifting slightly as he readjusts his posture to lean in, sticking his tongue out slightly as he begins to bob his head up and down at a steady, controlled pace, pushing noa's dick further into his mouth with every forward movement. he is telling himself he has pretty privilege, so this doesn't look awkward, everything he does is hot, actually. he's just about got his mouth filled up when kaiser abruptly draws back and looks up, expression dire. ]
This is warm-up. [ so they're on the same page... ] This doesn't count.
[ count for what?? well, in deranged world where everything is a competition... because that's where kaiser lives. and unfortunately, noa lives down the street. ]