If it has more than two eyes, or more than one face, then it would be my honor to be its godparent.
Is that so? I wonder why that is. We really are opposites in so many ways. I can't imagine being unimpressed with the world around us. Perhaps it's because I haven't been out and about until recently? Regardless, it keeps things interesting. I don't get on well with people who are too much like me.
if it came out of my pussy, then it should be your honor to be its godparent
[ not that he has that biological function but whatever! biology didn't stop the first virgin mary, it won't stop the second one either. ]
its not as if ive been out and about very much either i suppose its true i don't do much tourism... but its not as if i do none of it either. its just that most places are dirtier and smellier than youd think. nature is alright i guess but inconvenient. and there's always more people than you wish there would be
I love you so much that I'm making a conscious effort not to raise my voice over text. I don't want to think about or hear about you having a vagina. You need to find another way to birth the Antichrist. Please.
[ he's genuinely too gay for this, it's giving him a tummy ache??? ]
It really does seem like that would be your dream life. I must say, the thought of you baking treats and crocheting little animals is quite cute. I can't say whether you would make for a good mother, but you can always outsource that sort of thing nowadays, so it wouldn't be a problem.
[ riddle is working overtime not to be weird about this, by the way. if he wasn't too exhausted to crash out over the thought of someone else marrying kaiser, he would be losing it or saying something deranged. ]
[ kaiser had even worse things to add to that, but he refrained! because he cares 💙 ]
crocheting??? i absolutely would not do that. but id throw the best parties dressed in a way that exactly threads the line of sensuality and taste to make all the other men jealous and get my dear husband the business deal that he wanted all without putting out because i respect myself and my marriage. thats how it would be.
[ this isn't even one of the delusions he worked hard on! ]
Oh, fine. I've already come this far. I'll make certain the baby comes out safely to fulfill its destiny, and see this ordeal with you through to the end.
[ ...okay, he's not on the verge of crashing out anymore, because what kaiser describes is too fantastical. it sounds like something out of a tv drama! ]
Really? You would still want to live a fast-paced and glamorous life? I imagined something simpler and quieter for you, where all you needed to worry about are your hobbies and decorating however you wish.
that would be an utter waste of these generational good looks
[ opinions expressed are not his own, simply the objective truth of being a male version of his movie star mother (abandoned at birth) (long story) (his life is a tv drama). ]
i already have to stand there and look good and field off annoying questions/comments as it is so i dont really see it as a huge burden. itd still leave me with plenty of time to nap whenever i want to
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share if you want... but im not missing out
i merely have my own life
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Of course. We both do. All the same, I like sharing my findings with you. The world is a curious place, after all.
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and maybe... i guess... i have found the world quite underwhelming, personally.
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Is that so? I wonder why that is. We really are opposites in so many ways. I can't imagine being unimpressed with the world around us. Perhaps it's because I haven't been out and about until recently? Regardless, it keeps things interesting. I don't get on well with people who are too much like me.
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[ not that he has that biological function but whatever! biology didn't stop the first virgin mary, it won't stop the second one either. ]
its not as if ive been out and about very much either
i suppose its true i don't do much tourism... but its not as if i do none of it either. its just that most places are dirtier and smellier than youd think. nature is alright i guess but inconvenient. and there's always more people than you wish there would be
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[ the psychic damage he received from the thought of kaiser with an entire vagina is tremendous. painful. actually made him queasy. ]
Hmm... Curiouser and curiouser. It seems you really are just a cynical homebody!
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[ that's no way to get a wife to put out!! ]
and i guess, yeah.
i was born to be a beautiful housewife who stays at home -_- and look at what they fucking did to me
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[ he's genuinely too gay for this, it's giving him a tummy ache??? ]
It really does seem like that would be your dream life. I must say, the thought of you baking treats and crocheting little animals is quite cute. I can't say whether you would make for a good mother, but you can always outsource that sort of thing nowadays, so it wouldn't be a problem.
[ riddle is working overtime not to be weird about this, by the way. if he wasn't too exhausted to crash out over the thought of someone else marrying kaiser, he would be losing it or saying something deranged. ]
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[ kaiser had even worse things to add to that, but he refrained! because he cares 💙 ]
crocheting???
i absolutely would not do that. but id throw the best parties dressed in a way that exactly threads the line of sensuality and taste to make all the other men jealous and get my dear husband the business deal that he wanted all without putting out because i respect myself and my marriage. thats how it would be.
[ this isn't even one of the delusions he worked hard on! ]
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[ ...okay, he's not on the verge of crashing out anymore, because what kaiser describes is too fantastical. it sounds like something out of a tv drama! ]
Really? You would still want to live a fast-paced and glamorous life? I imagined something simpler and quieter for you, where all you needed to worry about are your hobbies and decorating however you wish.
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[ opinions expressed are not his own, simply the objective truth of being a male version of his movie star mother (abandoned at birth) (long story) (his life is a tv drama). ]
i already have to stand there and look good and field off annoying questions/comments as it is so i dont really see it as a huge burden. itd still leave me with plenty of time to nap whenever i want to