'kay. ( mumbled out quietly, because his throat doesn't feel too great right now, and he's still a little out of it, dizzy and dazed. it's still funny to watch kaiser stumble out of the bathroom like he's never stood upright in his life — but it's also admirable he's not throwing up, sae thinks... wrow, you can hold in so much alcohol? sooo coool.
he snorts, still, when the other walks into the doorframe and shifts by the toilet, groaning and sitting up on his own. )
I don't think you'll be making it here with water. ( probably gonna spill all of it on the way... )
[ then how is he supposed to get sae his water... if sae looked up at this moment, he might be able to visibly see a question mark go up over kaiser's head. ]
But...
[ he genuinely looks so put out. he's sad... upset that sae doesn't believe in his ability to provide!! ]
Water from the sink?
[ is it acceptable, princess. real question is probably: does sae have a cup or anything acceptably cup-like in his bathroom... ]
[ because! *man on the verge of tears* he has to show he can PROVIDE!! ]
For a glass of water...
[ giraud gets paid so much, but does he get paid enough for this bullshit. ]
I'll take you to the kitchen. [ believe in him babygirl. ] I can do it.
[ BELIEVE IN HIM!! he's holding his arms out... he's going for the princess carry. he is without many inhibitions at the moment, so he is free to be aspirationally cringe as his heart desires... ]
He'd do it. ( it's not a question of whether he'd do it or not, anyway, it's just a question of letting that man have some peace for once.
sae quirks an eyebrow, watching kaiser stumble forward with his arms out. )
Do you want to kill the two of us? ( IS THIS HOW YOU WANNA DOUBLE SUICIDE??? slipping and falling on the bathroom floor... head cracked open... sae sees it in his mind's eye. )
[ he's only on the verge. he would not cry. maybe. ]
We won't die. [ hmph! glaring at sae a little — the sae in his double vision, though, which may make it less effective. ] Trust me, I can do it.
[ why does sae not TRUST HIM!! crazy that sae can be like "stab me" but he won't let kaiser princess carry him while drunk. too bad, kaiser is hooking his arms around sae (real)'s waist and pulling him up. ]
Hey — ( but this idiot's already trying to pick him up, and sae's too dizzy to really fight it right now, still shaken by the vomiting and the alcohol in his system. that kaiser can move this well still is a miracle, truly — but that's probably because his tolerance's clearly higher, and also? he weighs more??? so.
uuugh. with a small groan, he extends his arms, just a little, to make it a little easier for kaiser to pick him up. if he dies, he dies, he guesses...... )
[ YAAAYYYY yet another thing that kaiser has harassed out of sae! he'll do his best to gently lift sae up... sae should probably try and keep his legs close to himself, because kaiser's ability to judge distance isn't the best at the moment, and since he went for the princess carry.. sae's feet might be victims soon. ]
See? No problem.
[ he'll walk slower than usual, though — he has to be careful since he has valuable belongings with him now, obviously. first obstacle: getting through the bathroom door — cleared. next, the hallway... they might both be bumping up against the wall a few times, but at least kaiser doesn't stumble or drop sae or anything? finally, the most complicated part: letting sae down once they're at the kitchen.
or instead kaiser could stand there and keep clinging onto sae like sae is his favorite stuffed animal or something. what's to stop him. ]
( he just kind of curls up in kaiser's arms, anyway, because he's still nauseous and this feels very unsteady. if he falls, he'll at least cushion it a little —
but, well. he is still drunk, and kaiser's warm, and he rests his head against the other's clavicle, dangerously close to snuggling into his chest. it's comfortable, even if a little unsteady; kaiser still carries him around like he weighs nothing at all, even though he's also drunk, and maybe if he wasn't also fucked up, he'd be less impressed, but — )
Good job. ( he hums, sounding out of it but nevertheless mostly pleased, barely even noticing when kaiser suddenly stops.
opening his eyes, he glances up at kaiser's face, quirking an eyebrow. )
What? ( why's kaiser treating him like a plushie. tf. )
What? [ and why can't kaiser treat him like a plushie. can't this be his reward for doing a good job?
also, it takes him a few moments to recall that he carried sae over here for a reason, not just for the pleasure(?) of being sae's workhorse or something. after a few moments, he kneels down... not to let sae down, though. he leans in and rests his upper body against sae, kinda just... curling around him... perhaps sae should resign himself to being kaiser's body pillow <3 ]
( why else did kaiser bring him here, to sit on the floor and squeeze him??? he groans, as kaiser curls himself around him, unsure what to do? is he supposed to shove him off and get the water, or just let him do it? it's not uncomfortable, and he doesn't want to move, but —
[ oh, that's less resistance than kaiser was expecting... he figures that must mean that sae doesn't mind this too much. he's ignoring sae's reminder that they were here for water to begin with, in favor of nuzzling his face against sae's... but you know how sometimes kids don't know how gentle to be with pets because they don't have one themselves? it's like that. ]
( he's tired and kaiser's warm... even if he's also a little forceful about his affection. well. not like sae minds — and if he did, he'd just smack him in the face or something.
though maybe not when he's so out of it...
he groans, something barely sensible, and pushes his face more against kaiser's. )
[ that's kind of like an "i love you" in the kaiser household, you know. maybe it counts. ]
Then, my daily suicide bait... so I can sleep easy at night.
[ really fucked up that knsr had to reveal that kaiser prefers being verbally abused over being told nice things, it makes all the suibaiting even funnier in retrospect—
also, since sae isn't resisting, he's doing his gross cheek kisses to sae now. ]
he makes a face, and tries to lean away and out of kaiser's grip, kind of like that skunk cartoon. idk if you know the one. i had to find it.
and they're on the floor, too, basically... it checks out. sae shoves his hand in kaiser's face and huffs, just barely mustering enough strength to move his arm at all. )
I'll suicide bait you when I want to. ( you can't go to sleep yet. for reasons. )
[ yeah. that's literally them. kaiser would be really offended at the comparison, not because of the skunk thing, but because french? EWWWWWWWW...
sure, though, kaiser will let sae push his face away. it's for the better anyway, before kaiser gets really gross with it. ]
But you promise you'll do it before bed? [ he canNOT sleep without it (he can). ] ... Okay, okay. That's fine, then.
[ not that sae has even promised yet... kaiser just feels like, in his inebriated wisdom, that sae has already agreed in his heart. so he'll pull back to let sae finally dismount... he'd better do it himself, kaiser might unintentionally dump his ass on the floor in his current uncoordinated state. ]
( sowwy... u are the french skunk now, kaiser... )
No promises. ( now he's going to withhold it on purpose, even if his cheek's all drooled on and he really wants to tell kaiser off.
instead, though, he'll climb out of his arms clumsily and stumble towards the sink, no longer concerned about the quality of tap water. he'll just drink some from there like from a water fountain and dry heave over it for a bit, closing his eyes for a little too long before opening them.
ough.... he does Not feel great. glancing at kaiser again, though, who seems to be perfectly fine... damn european genes??? germans and their beer-blood??? )
also, kaiser will just have to apologize later for the sin of being a european man. in the meanwhile, sae should enjoy this? it's the most puppy-like that kaiser will ever get, probably. he has to use both hands to push himself off of the ground and get back up, coming over to sae to give him a loose backhug again, stroking sae's stomach? waist? in a light and uncoordinated way. feel better babygirl :( ]
( ugh. it's cute, he guesses, when kaiser's so clingy; he feels the warmth of the other's body against his own, and it soothes him, body still confused as to whether it wants to get rid of more alcohol or just settle with the current sickness and jitters. he exhales, and leans back, a little into it; this is probably the most complacent kaiser will get sae, too, so. enjoy?
he hums a slow acknowledgement and leans over the sink, but doesn't gag or puke, just kind of. pauses there. bro's buffering — )
I'm fine. I — ( well, he'd be lying if he said he doesn't feel sick anymore, but rather than that, he just feels like his legs are about to give out and he's about to collapse. ) ... can you get us to bed?
[ he is enjoying it... sae's probably more than noticed at this point, but kaiser's pretty tactile when it comes to either attempting to assert his superiority or with things and people he likes — the latter case is rarely by far, though. the hold he has on sae is gentle but uncompromising at the same time, he's clinging only a little bit, but his grip would be hard to break even under normal circumstances.
he nuzzles against sae's nape and considers the question for a few moments longer than he should really need to. ]
... Mmkay. But, wait, first... [ UGHHHH... it's with great sadness that he detaches for a few moments to grab his reusable water bottle from the drying rack by the sink and fills it up with tap water, twisting the cap back on before handing it over to sae.
you know, in case he needs it later. then kaiser drops to a crouch in front of sae... piggyback this time. just to be safe. ]
( well, under any normal circumstances, sae doesn't actually like being touched so freely — if he's ever physical with anyone, it's on his terms. he's been pretty lax with it, as far as allowing kaiser to touch him goes, though — nowadays, he doesn't bristle nearly as much when the other initiates any sort of affectionate contact. ... he still definitely smacks him away sometimes, though.
right now, he's a little too out of it to bother; besides, kaiser feels nice against his back, anyway. warm.
even sae's a little disappointed when the other detaches. it's probably a good idea, though; he grabs the bottle and glances down, pausing for a moment. what a weird thing to get nostalgic about, but — he used to do this for little rin, too? ugh. )
Don't drop me. ( he huffs, feeling a little awkward as he leans over the other and wraps both arms around his neck, positioning his legs on both sides of his body. )
[ he sounds a little sulky about it. why doubt him! has kaiser ever given sae reason to doubt him... maybe after the cumbucha incident, sure, but—
anyways, he places his hands under sae's knees before standing up. sae's not very heavy, so it's not asking very much more for him to get them both safely to sae's bedroom as it would be for him to walk himself, but he's less steady than he was before, so. he'll go nice and slow and make the hallway seem about three times as long as it actually is before nudging sae's bedroom door open with his foot with a bit more force than necessary — oopsies... at least that won't damage the wall behind the door? he thinks? if he remembers this tomorrow morning, he'll check...
anyways, he'll sit his ass down on sae's bed, which conveniently also settles sae down as well. yay, mission accomplished! kaiser's not letting go, though, in spite of the fact that the position is probably rather awkward for sae. ]
Gonna change? Strip, at least? [ he wants to watch. uwu. ]
( despite the alcohol content in kaiser's blood, it seems as if he's still pretty steady with sae's weight on top of him, at least — sae's still clinging to him a little tighter than necessary, just because, but. even though the other's moving slowly, it's not actually very shaky up here.
good job?
the door doesn't even garner a glance from him — if anything, he expects kaiser to kick things with more force than this, even when drunk.
once he's seated on his bed, still clinging to kaiser from behind, he huffs and leans back until he hits the soft mattress beneath, legs still trapped over kaiser's arms. )
[ this is going to be especially funny if it's ever confirmed that kaiser is younger. how are you baby! kaiser is the baby here!
but kaiser somehow has the caretaking instinct that sae lacks, which is why he's going to raise a daddy's girl someday. he openly sighs because he's so very forlorn to have to break away, even if temporarily, and nearly stumbles over his own ankles as he turns around to face sae. ]
Why'd you get all dressed up? [ HUFFS... pouts... kaiser's not jealous. he's just noting that it's more effort to undress sae than if sae had just been that guy showing up in sweats.
he's grabbing the hem of sae's... shirt? sweater? and pulling up unartfully. ]
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'kay. ( mumbled out quietly, because his throat doesn't feel too great right now, and he's still a little out of it, dizzy and dazed. it's still funny to watch kaiser stumble out of the bathroom like he's never stood upright in his life — but it's also admirable he's not throwing up, sae thinks... wrow, you can hold in so much alcohol? sooo coool.
he snorts, still, when the other walks into the doorframe and shifts by the toilet, groaning and sitting up on his own. )
I don't think you'll be making it here with water. ( probably gonna spill all of it on the way... )
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But...
[ he genuinely looks so put out. he's sad... upset that sae doesn't believe in his ability to provide!! ]
Water from the sink?
[ is it acceptable, princess. real question is probably: does sae have a cup or anything acceptably cup-like in his bathroom... ]
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( why are you even still up and about... just sit your ass down if you're gonna be useless?
sae pats around, and then realizes his phone is not on him. ough. )
I could call Giraud... ( for... a glass of water... )
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For a glass of water...
[ giraud gets paid so much, but does he get paid enough for this bullshit. ]
I'll take you to the kitchen. [ believe in him babygirl. ] I can do it.
[ BELIEVE IN HIM!! he's holding his arms out... he's going for the princess carry. he is without many inhibitions at the moment, so he is free to be aspirationally cringe as his heart desires... ]
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He'd do it. ( it's not a question of whether he'd do it or not, anyway, it's just a question of letting that man have some peace for once.
sae quirks an eyebrow, watching kaiser stumble forward with his arms out. )
Do you want to kill the two of us? ( IS THIS HOW YOU WANNA DOUBLE SUICIDE??? slipping and falling on the bathroom floor... head cracked open... sae sees it in his mind's eye. )
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We won't die. [ hmph! glaring at sae a little — the sae in his double vision, though, which may make it less effective. ] Trust me, I can do it.
[ why does sae not TRUST HIM!! crazy that sae can be like "stab me" but he won't let kaiser princess carry him while drunk. too bad, kaiser is hooking his arms around sae (real)'s waist and pulling him up. ]
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Hey — ( but this idiot's already trying to pick him up, and sae's too dizzy to really fight it right now, still shaken by the vomiting and the alcohol in his system. that kaiser can move this well still is a miracle, truly — but that's probably because his tolerance's clearly higher, and also? he weighs more??? so.
uuugh. with a small groan, he extends his arms, just a little, to make it a little easier for kaiser to pick him up. if he dies, he dies, he guesses...... )
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See? No problem.
[ he'll walk slower than usual, though — he has to be careful since he has valuable belongings with him now, obviously. first obstacle: getting through the bathroom door — cleared. next, the hallway... they might both be bumping up against the wall a few times, but at least kaiser doesn't stumble or drop sae or anything? finally, the most complicated part: letting sae down once they're at the kitchen.
or instead kaiser could stand there and keep clinging onto sae like sae is his favorite stuffed animal or something. what's to stop him. ]
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but, well. he is still drunk, and kaiser's warm, and he rests his head against the other's clavicle, dangerously close to snuggling into his chest. it's comfortable, even if a little unsteady; kaiser still carries him around like he weighs nothing at all, even though he's also drunk, and maybe if he wasn't also fucked up, he'd be less impressed, but — )
Good job. ( he hums, sounding out of it but nevertheless mostly pleased, barely even noticing when kaiser suddenly stops.
opening his eyes, he glances up at kaiser's face, quirking an eyebrow. )
What? ( why's kaiser treating him like a plushie. tf. )
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also, it takes him a few moments to recall that he carried sae over here for a reason, not just for the pleasure(?) of being sae's workhorse or something. after a few moments, he kneels down... not to let sae down, though. he leans in and rests his upper body against sae, kinda just... curling around him... perhaps sae should resign himself to being kaiser's body pillow <3 ]
Haven't heard it yet, by the way.
[ his daily kys... ]
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( why else did kaiser bring him here, to sit on the floor and squeeze him??? he groans, as kaiser curls himself around him, unsure what to do? is he supposed to shove him off and get the water, or just let him do it? it's not uncomfortable, and he doesn't want to move, but —
... ughhh. so annoying, as always. )
Heard what? ( he's too drunk to remember. )
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... My daily "I love you"? [ uwu ]
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though maybe not when he's so out of it...
he groans, something barely sensible, and pushes his face more against kaiser's. )
Shut up, stupid. ( closest he'll get. )
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[ that's kind of like an "i love you" in the kaiser household, you know. maybe it counts. ]
Then, my daily suicide bait... so I can sleep easy at night.
[ really fucked up that knsr had to reveal that kaiser prefers being verbally abused over being told nice things, it makes all the suibaiting even funnier in retrospect—
also, since sae isn't resisting, he's doing his gross cheek kisses to sae now. ]
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he makes a face, and tries to lean away and out of kaiser's grip, kind of like that skunk cartoon. idk if you know the one. i had to find it.
and they're on the floor, too, basically... it checks out. sae shoves his hand in kaiser's face and huffs, just barely mustering enough strength to move his arm at all. )
I'll suicide bait you when I want to. ( you can't go to sleep yet. for reasons. )
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sure, though, kaiser will let sae push his face away. it's for the better anyway, before kaiser gets really gross with it. ]
But you promise you'll do it before bed? [ he canNOT sleep without it (he can). ] ... Okay, okay. That's fine, then.
[ not that sae has even promised yet... kaiser just feels like, in his inebriated wisdom, that sae has already agreed in his heart. so he'll pull back to let sae finally dismount... he'd better do it himself, kaiser might unintentionally dump his ass on the floor in his current uncoordinated state. ]
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No promises. ( now he's going to withhold it on purpose, even if his cheek's all drooled on and he really wants to tell kaiser off.
instead, though, he'll climb out of his arms clumsily and stumble towards the sink, no longer concerned about the quality of tap water. he'll just drink some from there like from a water fountain and dry heave over it for a bit, closing his eyes for a little too long before opening them.
ough.... he does Not feel great. glancing at kaiser again, though, who seems to be perfectly fine... damn european genes??? germans and their beer-blood??? )
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also, kaiser will just have to apologize later for the sin of being a european man. in the meanwhile, sae should enjoy this? it's the most puppy-like that kaiser will ever get, probably. he has to use both hands to push himself off of the ground and get back up, coming over to sae to give him a loose backhug again, stroking sae's stomach? waist? in a light and uncoordinated way. feel better babygirl :( ]
Drink slower, you'll puke again...
[ unless that's the point, but. ]
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he hums a slow acknowledgement and leans over the sink, but doesn't gag or puke, just kind of. pauses there. bro's buffering — )
I'm fine. I — ( well, he'd be lying if he said he doesn't feel sick anymore, but rather than that, he just feels like his legs are about to give out and he's about to collapse. ) ... can you get us to bed?
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he nuzzles against sae's nape and considers the question for a few moments longer than he should really need to. ]
... Mmkay. But, wait, first... [ UGHHHH... it's with great sadness that he detaches for a few moments to grab his reusable water bottle from the drying rack by the sink and fills it up with tap water, twisting the cap back on before handing it over to sae.
you know, in case he needs it later. then kaiser drops to a crouch in front of sae... piggyback this time. just to be safe. ]
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right now, he's a little too out of it to bother; besides, kaiser feels nice against his back, anyway. warm.
even sae's a little disappointed when the other detaches. it's probably a good idea, though; he grabs the bottle and glances down, pausing for a moment. what a weird thing to get nostalgic about, but — he used to do this for little rin, too? ugh. )
Don't drop me. ( he huffs, feeling a little awkward as he leans over the other and wraps both arms around his neck, positioning his legs on both sides of his body. )
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[ he sounds a little sulky about it. why doubt him! has kaiser ever given sae reason to doubt him... maybe after the cumbucha incident, sure, but—
anyways, he places his hands under sae's knees before standing up. sae's not very heavy, so it's not asking very much more for him to get them both safely to sae's bedroom as it would be for him to walk himself, but he's less steady than he was before, so. he'll go nice and slow and make the hallway seem about three times as long as it actually is before nudging sae's bedroom door open with his foot with a bit more force than necessary — oopsies... at least that won't damage the wall behind the door? he thinks? if he remembers this tomorrow morning, he'll check...
anyways, he'll sit his ass down on sae's bed, which conveniently also settles sae down as well. yay, mission accomplished! kaiser's not letting go, though, in spite of the fact that the position is probably rather awkward for sae. ]
Gonna change? Strip, at least? [ he wants to watch. uwu. ]
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good job?
the door doesn't even garner a glance from him — if anything, he expects kaiser to kick things with more force than this, even when drunk.
once he's seated on his bed, still clinging to kaiser from behind, he huffs and leans back until he hits the soft mattress beneath, legs still trapped over kaiser's arms. )
Strip me. ( he's baby and drunk :( )
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but kaiser somehow has the caretaking instinct that sae lacks, which is why he's going to raise a daddy's girl someday. he openly sighs because he's so very forlorn to have to break away, even if temporarily, and nearly stumbles over his own ankles as he turns around to face sae. ]
Why'd you get all dressed up? [ HUFFS... pouts... kaiser's not jealous. he's just noting that it's more effort to undress sae than if sae had just been that guy showing up in sweats.
he's grabbing the hem of sae's... shirt? sweater? and pulling up unartfully. ]