? you dont want me to say certain things. you tell me that yourself
[ not exactly fair to angle it like that, but kaiser is counting on the question of "well, am i wrong, though?" to quell any pushback on his statement before it even really formulates itself properly. ]
either way, i dont say things when i dont want to, and whats the issue with that? there is none
[ this is already kaiser after self-censoring. one must imagine how much worse it could get if he didn't hold back. the thing about pandora's box is that it's not meant to be opened, for everybody's good — ignorance can be bliss. kaiser is electing to maintain that status quo, because letting riddle be a yearner is probably better than dashing his poor dreams of kaiser being fundamentally capable of things he is not. ]
ok youll have to fly back quickly to beat the insane mannschaft fans from beheading me first tbh
Because I know you won't give an honest response to me! You'll just say whatever is most logical or sensible in the moment to shut me up! I don't always want to hear the truth. I know it's strange, illogical, and cowardly... But that's no reason to hide it from me anyway! Chase me down! Force me to listen to you! Your words and your feelings matter to me!
[ unfortunately, riddle is too much of a stubborn brat to let it go that easily. as desperately as he wanted to avoid an argument or pretty much anything that would ruin this vacation, now that the topic has come up, there most likely isn't any going back. after all, when will the chance to say all he needs to say come again? can he live the rest of his life this way? being a silly, yearning little fool is fine with riddle-- he just wants to know who he's truly yearning for, and if that person cares about him even a little bit. ]
There is *plenty* of issue with it, Kaiser! There are times where even if you don't want to say something, you still ought to because it's the right thing to do! When you care for someone, you should be honest with them and strive to do right by them!
[ little rose is big mad. it seems not even being michael kaiser is enough to dodge a lecture about honesty and transparency. riddle knows not everyone lives by such tenets as passionately as he does, but there are limits to what he'll accept from others. maybe it's unfair and tyrannical of him to impress that upon kaiser, but riddle doesn't care, not when he's this incensed. ]
I know I don't mean as much to you as you do to me... Even if it hurts, I can bear it. But don't you at least care about me enough to be honest with me?
i dont have to do anything that i dont want to do you want me to do something against my own will, to satisfy your preferences, right now? its not enough for me to say the right words to you if there arent ENOUGH of the words that you wanted to hear? no, for that matter, why do you think youre allowed to assume what i do or dont ascribe meaning to? if you think you can compare how much you care for me than the other way around, then youve already decided in your mind what you think exists within me
[ kaiser is a wretched forsaken creature who didn't develop mentally or emotionally (or physically, for that matter) in the correct manner due to being so incredibly poorly socialized as a child, but this sounds like some bullshit to him, actually. you take the nasty chewed-up mouse that the stray cat you scruffed off the streets drops on your bed as a sign of affection or you get rid of the cat because it will never change its feral, wild instincts and simply meow and purr cutely when being petted like a domesticated thing — it's the same thing to kaiser, in kaiser's mind. he has already hit the depths of what he can experience, in terms of positive feelings towards another and the anchor is not going to sink any further, it's already hit the seabed. take it or leave it, in his opinion. ]
everything you want is so damn important, isnt it. far more important than anything i want, i guess.
IT'S NOT ABOUT SAYING THE RIGHT THING KAISER, THERE *IS* NO RIGHT THING, THERE IS ONLY A CONCLUSION WE REACH TOGETHER BY TELLING EACH OTHER OUR TRUE FEELINGS.
[ truthfully, riddle feels out of his element, lecturing someone else on how to socialize and communicate properly. what right does he have to lambast kaiser when talking with people his own age is a fight for his life, and making friends is an epic struggle even now?
that's no reason to shy away from this conversation though. that would be cowardly, and how can he claim to want to understand his best friend and bring him happiness if he can't even handle explaining how he plans to get them there? does kaiser even want to get there...?
admittedly, it's not something riddle ever considered. after all, doesn't everyone want a their happily ever after? for him, simply surviving was utterly torturous, and riddle can't comprehend a life without chasing happiness and having something to look forward to. riddle doesn't mind if this scraggly stray wants to leave bloody corpses on his pillow, he doesn't even mind if he keeps secrets every now and then. as much as it hurts, riddle knew long ago that this matted tom probably wouldn't ever purr for him either-- he can accept that sad reality too.
but is he truly being a cruel tyrant for wanting this nasty little creature to consider him his home? doesn't he want the same thing? to have a home in riddle? ...riddle supposes it's not that simple since he himself is afraid of the answer, but still... ]
I don't want to *make* you do or say *anything*, I want you to want to do it yourself! That's all this is about, you don't have to be this cross with me! How can I be blamed for feeling the way I do when I don't know what I mean to you?! You just told me you never miss me, or wish you could see me when we're apart... Truly, what else am I supposed to think?
[ riddle is pissed off and overwhelmed and confused, so of course the next course of action is to hide behind a big potted plant in the hotel lobby while lilia checks them in so no one can see he's about to cry. happy spring break, everybody! ]
What you want is important to me too, Kaiser! Do I really make you feel like it isn't? I want to know if I do. I don't want to hurt you.
Tell me what you want. Tell me what will make you happy. I'll listen. I promise.
im not doing that. every time i tell you what i think, you yell at me because you didnt like that i said i dont miss anything that i know isnt gone because you made up some situation in your mind where that means im too deficient in whatever it is you want me to be. or you tell me to not say anything more, except when you want me to, then i should keep saying more and in case you fucking forgot what i mean to you, ive already said it, and then YOU acted like you dont believe me
[ he even has the receipts for this and is perfectly jolly to post the screencaps. surprisingly, it's not as if kaiser is some psycho who keeps receipts just in case, he simply has a good memory and knows what to search to bring the messages back up... ]
im not cross, im frustrated because you cant even keep your demands consistent. how about you just tell me how you want me to act at the beginning of every conversation from now on?
[ oh no... riddle is starting to wonder if he's the toxic one here... certainly, he knows he's an illogical lunatic makes about as much sense as the average overdramatic white girl, but it being put on blast like this while actually caring what the other person thinks is hard! normally this is the part where riddle just tells the other person to shut the fuck up (in classier terms) and do as he says, but that...probably won't fly in this situation.
oddly enough though, staring at the screencaps only leaves him feeling vindicated. riddle remembers too-- he remembers feeling like a moron, he remembers being afraid, he remembers going to bed lonely and wishing he didn't care so much. maybe this blowup is his punishment for running away that night instead of just being honest then and there. if that's the case, riddle is doubly determined to make sense of the mess he's making. it's the least he can do. ]
I don't think you're deficient in anything. Not missing anything is one thing, but not missing me... It just hurt to hear. It hurt my feelings.
[ he hates!!! admitting that!!! but if he's going to bitch and nag about wanting honesty, he needs to provide it in turn. ]
I despise sounding like a broken record, but it bears repeating, and I won't run away from the answer this time.
The first time I told you I love you and want to make you happy, it wasn't enough for you to simply reject me. You told me I was mistaken, that I was wrong... You can't possibly imagine how painful it was, being told something so awful. Truly, what should I have thought at that moment? Who in their right mind would feel accepted or supported by someone after they hurt them so much?
I'm not consistent. I'm not some even-tempered simpleton who goes with the flow. I'm obstinate and illogical. I acknowledge that I can be difficult, but as the saying goes, it is what it is. Telling you to speak and act a certain way before every conversation would be impractical, and as I said before, I don't want to be a tyrant who controls you.
I want you to want to share things with me of your own volition. I want to know what you want and what will make you happy as well.
[ no, riddle! don't let kaiser trick you into thinking this isn't toxic4toxic! ]
if you dont want to hear it then dont insist i should say anything i dont want to say also i didnt say that ?????????? all i said is that its not that fucking complicated, youre the one who thinks it is for whatever reason you have cooked up in your labyrinth of a mind where you retranslate the words that i say into whatever narrative you want and which cant even so much as decide if you want me to say more or say less every next week. but i guess youre right now because somehow you have made it fucking complicated and i cannot even begin to comprehend what for again, can you at least decide what your story is and stick with it. ill get with the program if you stop switching up
[ riddle has never felt more insane before in his life, and that's saying something because he almost killed somebody. on one hand, it's hard not to question reality when the person you love most in this world makes you question it. the only thing keeping him from going bananas is the fact he's already bananas, and the other fact logic means little to him. as a queen of hearts expy, in the end, he is physically incapable of accepting anything that doesn't fit his narrative or go his way. if sense and logic have to suffer for it, then so be it.
does it occur to him that because of this, dealing with him and his tempestuous mood swings and unchecked reactivity is daunting and intimidating? of course it does! but again, he simply does not care. he is who he is-- loud and intense. ]
I don't mean to make things complicated! I really don't. I know I tend to just *say* things when I become upset... I really am a brat and a crybaby, aren't I?
How about this?
I promise not to run away from difficult conversations anymore. Even if I think I won't like the truth, I won't tell you to say less or drop the subject. I will listen and see it through with you. In return, all I want is for you to be more direct and honest with me. Does that sound fair?
okay but im still not going to say anything i dont want to say
[ what is a wife without her secrets... or something...... happier, maybe? whatever, kaiser enjoys suffering. ]
also, if youre going to change yourself, it should be for your own sake... you do know that, right.
[ kaiser learned about gaslighting and manipulating a little too hard. it results in poor puppies with horrible separation anxiety, and he just can't deal with that. he's kind of given up on his ideal toxic codependency situation on account of it seeming increasingly unrealistic... so he was forced to say something actually healthy, for once. ]
I'm not *happy* to hear that, but I suppose I can't complain since I also don't want to make you do anything you don't want to do.
[ this is like talking to a wall but the wall is having a schizoaffective episode.
also, riddle doesn't want to hear that stupid shit from his wife. kaiser may be giving up on his dream codependent clusterfuck but unfortunately for him, this puppy was poorly and sick in the head from day one. sorry! riddle is not giving up, his obsession knows no bounds! ]
Oh hush. You know what? Changing myself to make communicating with you and understanding you easier for me will make me happy. If you refuse to tell me outright what things I can do to make you happy and feel listened to, I'll simply have to figure it out myself.
I had better not hear any griping about how I'm making assumptions or failing to consider you from now on. I mean it. I'll put your damned tongue in a mousetrap if I do.
alright, as long as youre aware. so then next time you want to scream at me about whatever was bothering you but that you couldnt spit out at the moment can you do it either before i have to fly to a different country to play a match or wait until after...
Also, you should apologize for making me cry again. My friend is checking us into the hotel, and instead of exploring, I'm hiding behind a potted arrangement, weeping my eyes out because of you! Take responsibility!
Are you? Prove it and send me a picture of your sorriest face.
[ yeah no, riddle doesn't believe that apology for a second, but he's still trying to inject some levity anyway. he's not sorry either but he'll apologize in a moment too... ]
[ to be fair, riddle doesn't know what a sorry face looks like either, he usually just sulks or pouts...
but still! stupid mean miha won't even try!! ]
SO THAT'S IT YOU WON'T DO ANYTHING TO PROVE YOU'RE SORRY YOU THINK IT'S FINE TO HURT MY FEELINGS AND UPSET ME? Why are you being so mean to me?! I was going to try to make a sorry face for you too but nevermind!
well youre supposed to believe me when i say things, as well as not punish me for saying things you didnt like, and maybe even stop picking fights with me before i have a fucking match to play in fucking italy.
[ if riddle hadn't just spent the duration of this conversation being mentally terrorized, he might feel a little bad for being so aggro. alack and alas... ]
Michael Kaiser.
Do you *swear* you're actually sorry for hurting my feelings? (Two times in a row, even)
Do you swear on Peaches' life?
[ >wife politely but firmly requests you not purity test him >proceeds to give him an even more deranged and frustrating purity test ]
dont waste my fucking time. next time you can just admit right off the bat you simply want me to behave a certain way to satisfy you. like i said, i can get with the program if i get anything lower than an 8.0 rating playing italy im never so much as entertaining any of this shit ever again
I get a *little bit* cheeky with you and suddenly I'm wasting your time?! ALL I ASKED IS IF YOU WERE REALLY SORRY BECAUSE IT'S HARD TO TELL WITH YOU SOMETIMES, MAYBE IT DOESN'T MEAN MUCH TO YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT THE STUPID ARSEHOLE ALWAYS CRYING BUT IT WOULD ACTUALLY MEAN A LOT TO ME TO KNOW YOU DO NOT IN FACT ENJOY UPSETTING ME!
This "shit"? What do you mean this "shit"? I don't want to assume so please be more specific.
your lying ass bullshit where you say youll ""believe me"" and then proceed to purity test me multiple times, something that people only do when they dont believe what the other person is saying dont believe me if you dont want to. just stop lying to me and yourself, it only took you about 5 minutes to switch up your narrative yet again
I really didn't mean anything serious by it! I didn't! I thought sending silly pictures would lighten the mood a bit! Is it so wrong for me to get a little bit upset when you didn't want to do even that with me?!
[ basically he's just having a tantrum because he felt rebuffed and didn't get what he wanted. nothing out of the ordinary, unfortunately. the brat is simply bratting. ]
Fine... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you even angrier. I wasn't trying to punish you or anything of the sort either. I just yell without thinking, even over text. I wasn't lying when I said I didn't want you to do anything you didn't want to do...
I won't give you anymore stupid tests, and I won't make any extra requests tonight. It's not like I deserve them since I've been so rotten anyway.
[ the worst part about bratting your wife long-distance is the knowledge there's no way you can eke out some comfort from him, which riddle is also wont to do when he doesn't get what he wants. sulking and sniffling won't accomplish anything because kaiser isn't here to be victimized and guilted by it, meaning riddle has to just deal with feeling shitty and inept... ]
Edited (proofreading is for clowns) 2025-04-06 00:01 (UTC)
[ distance has made riddle forget that kaiser wouldn't feel anything in particular seeing sulking and sniffling in front of him either, but it is what it is. or maybe kaiser has sufficiently deluded riddle into thinking he would? hm...
anyways, he's holding himself back from commenting, "we'll see how long you last THIS time". kaiser doesn't enjoy any of this either. truly, he kind of just wants to go on a jog and then sleep, but he knows that bunnies can spontaneously die from loneliness, so he can't leave his phone so easily. ]
alright, then i wont say anything more. i feel like ive repeatedly made my stance clear i dont care if you change your mind but at least give me a heads up so i know
[ riddle is really out here thinking if he sniffled and sulked and scooted in close enough to kaiser, he might get his way with him after all. the dysfunction couldn't function more dysmally.
meanwhile, riddle would honestly prefer spontaneously dying right now? because it's time to check in and epel and lilia are looking at him like he's a complete lunatic for being so distraught, and now he has to lug his suitcase up with a stuffy nose... it's just overall a miserable and inconvenient situation. ]
You have.
I won't change my mind. I'll be good. And thank you for apologizing before. I'm sorry I acted up rather than just accepting it.
[ he thinks about asking kaiser what he can do to alleviate the tension and make things right again, but he's not too keen on taking any further emotional damage, and quite frankly he's not even sure if there is anything he can do, especially when he's this elevated post-tantrum. sigh... times like these make him wish he kept up his charade of being totally normal. ]
...What will you do now? In terms of your plans for the night, I mean. I'm about to settle into my room. My friends want to explore the beach, but I'm absolutely knackered.
review for the match, eat light something to settle my stomach, stretch, take a long hot shower, and then sleep
[ he is a creature who is so complex that he can't help but harm himself due to being way too complicated from time to time. but also, he is incredibly simple all at once. ]
just take a break if you want to the beach will always be there
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
you dont want me to say certain things. you tell me that yourself
[ not exactly fair to angle it like that, but kaiser is counting on the question of "well, am i wrong, though?" to quell any pushback on his statement before it even really formulates itself properly. ]
either way, i dont say things when i dont want to, and whats the issue with that? there is none
[ this is already kaiser after self-censoring. one must imagine how much worse it could get if he didn't hold back. the thing about pandora's box is that it's not meant to be opened, for everybody's good — ignorance can be bliss. kaiser is electing to maintain that status quo, because letting riddle be a yearner is probably better than dashing his poor dreams of kaiser being fundamentally capable of things he is not. ]
ok
youll have to fly back quickly to beat the insane mannschaft fans from beheading me first tbh
no subject
[ unfortunately, riddle is too much of a stubborn brat to let it go that easily. as desperately as he wanted to avoid an argument or pretty much anything that would ruin this vacation, now that the topic has come up, there most likely isn't any going back. after all, when will the chance to say all he needs to say come again? can he live the rest of his life this way? being a silly, yearning little fool is fine with riddle-- he just wants to know who he's truly yearning for, and if that person cares about him even a little bit. ]
There is *plenty* of issue with it, Kaiser! There are times where even if you don't want to say something, you still ought to because it's the right thing to do! When you care for someone, you should be honest with them and strive to do right by them!
[ little rose is big mad. it seems not even being michael kaiser is enough to dodge a lecture about honesty and transparency. riddle knows not everyone lives by such tenets as passionately as he does, but there are limits to what he'll accept from others. maybe it's unfair and tyrannical of him to impress that upon kaiser, but riddle doesn't care, not when he's this incensed. ]
I know I don't mean as much to you as you do to me... Even if it hurts, I can bear it. But don't you at least care about me enough to be honest with me?
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you want me to do something against my own will, to satisfy your preferences, right now? its not enough for me to say the right words to you if there arent ENOUGH of the words that you wanted to hear?
no, for that matter, why do you think youre allowed to assume what i do or dont ascribe meaning to? if you think you can compare how much you care for me than the other way around, then youve already decided in your mind what you think exists within me
[ kaiser is a wretched forsaken creature who didn't develop mentally or emotionally (or physically, for that matter) in the correct manner due to being so incredibly poorly socialized as a child, but this sounds like some bullshit to him, actually. you take the nasty chewed-up mouse that the stray cat you scruffed off the streets drops on your bed as a sign of affection or you get rid of the cat because it will never change its feral, wild instincts and simply meow and purr cutely when being petted like a domesticated thing — it's the same thing to kaiser, in kaiser's mind. he has already hit the depths of what he can experience, in terms of positive feelings towards another and the anchor is not going to sink any further, it's already hit the seabed. take it or leave it, in his opinion. ]
everything you want is so damn important, isnt it. far more important than anything i want, i guess.
no subject
[ truthfully, riddle feels out of his element, lecturing someone else on how to socialize and communicate properly. what right does he have to lambast kaiser when talking with people his own age is a fight for his life, and making friends is an epic struggle even now?
that's no reason to shy away from this conversation though. that would be cowardly, and how can he claim to want to understand his best friend and bring him happiness if he can't even handle explaining how he plans to get them there? does kaiser even want to get there...?
admittedly, it's not something riddle ever considered. after all, doesn't everyone want a their happily ever after? for him, simply surviving was utterly torturous, and riddle can't comprehend a life without chasing happiness and having something to look forward to. riddle doesn't mind if this scraggly stray wants to leave bloody corpses on his pillow, he doesn't even mind if he keeps secrets every now and then. as much as it hurts, riddle knew long ago that this matted tom probably wouldn't ever purr for him either-- he can accept that sad reality too.
but is he truly being a cruel tyrant for wanting this nasty little creature to consider him his home? doesn't he want the same thing? to have a home in riddle? ...riddle supposes it's not that simple since he himself is afraid of the answer, but still... ]
I don't want to *make* you do or say *anything*, I want you to want to do it yourself! That's all this is about, you don't have to be this cross with me! How can I be blamed for feeling the way I do when I don't know what I mean to you?! You just told me you never miss me, or wish you could see me when we're apart... Truly, what else am I supposed to think?
[ riddle is pissed off and overwhelmed and confused, so of course the next course of action is to hide behind a big potted plant in the hotel lobby while lilia checks them in so no one can see he's about to cry. happy spring break, everybody! ]
What you want is important to me too, Kaiser! Do I really make you feel like it isn't? I want to know if I do. I don't want to hurt you.
Tell me what you want. Tell me what will make you happy. I'll listen. I promise.
no subject
and in case you fucking forgot what i mean to you, ive already said it, and then YOU acted like you dont believe me
[ he even has the receipts for this and is perfectly jolly to post the screencaps. surprisingly, it's not as if kaiser is some psycho who keeps receipts just in case, he simply has a good memory and knows what to search to bring the messages back up... ]
im not cross, im frustrated because you cant even keep your demands consistent. how about you just tell me how you want me to act at the beginning of every conversation from now on?
no subject
oddly enough though, staring at the screencaps only leaves him feeling vindicated. riddle remembers too-- he remembers feeling like a moron, he remembers being afraid, he remembers going to bed lonely and wishing he didn't care so much. maybe this blowup is his punishment for running away that night instead of just being honest then and there. if that's the case, riddle is doubly determined to make sense of the mess he's making. it's the least he can do. ]
I don't think you're deficient in anything. Not missing anything is one thing, but not missing me... It just hurt to hear. It hurt my feelings.
[ he hates!!! admitting that!!! but if he's going to bitch and nag about wanting honesty, he needs to provide it in turn. ]
I despise sounding like a broken record, but it bears repeating, and I won't run away from the answer this time.
The first time I told you I love you and want to make you happy, it wasn't enough for you to simply reject me. You told me I was mistaken, that I was wrong... You can't possibly imagine how painful it was, being told something so awful. Truly, what should I have thought at that moment? Who in their right mind would feel accepted or supported by someone after they hurt them so much?
I'm not consistent. I'm not some even-tempered simpleton who goes with the flow. I'm obstinate and illogical. I acknowledge that I can be difficult, but as the saying goes, it is what it is. Telling you to speak and act a certain way before every conversation would be impractical, and as I said before, I don't want to be a tyrant who controls you.
I want you to want to share things with me of your own volition. I want to know what you want and what will make you happy as well.
no subject
if you dont want to hear it then dont insist i should say anything i dont want to say
also i didnt say that
??????????
all i said is that its not that fucking complicated, youre the one who thinks it is for whatever reason you have cooked up in your labyrinth of a mind where you retranslate the words that i say into whatever narrative you want and which cant even so much as decide if you want me to say more or say less every next week. but i guess youre right now because somehow you have made it fucking complicated and i cannot even begin to comprehend what for
again, can you at least decide what your story is and stick with it. ill get with the program if you stop switching up
no subject
[ riddle has never felt more insane before in his life, and that's saying something because he almost killed somebody. on one hand, it's hard not to question reality when the person you love most in this world makes you question it. the only thing keeping him from going bananas is the fact he's already bananas, and the other fact logic means little to him. as a queen of hearts expy, in the end, he is physically incapable of accepting anything that doesn't fit his narrative or go his way. if sense and logic have to suffer for it, then so be it.
does it occur to him that because of this, dealing with him and his tempestuous mood swings and unchecked reactivity is daunting and intimidating? of course it does! but again, he simply does not care. he is who he is-- loud and intense. ]
I don't mean to make things complicated! I really don't. I know I tend to just *say* things when I become upset... I really am a brat and a crybaby, aren't I?
How about this?
I promise not to run away from difficult conversations anymore. Even if I think I won't like the truth, I won't tell you to say less or drop the subject. I will listen and see it through with you. In return, all I want is for you to be more direct and honest with me. Does that sound fair?
no subject
[ what is a wife without her secrets... or something...... happier, maybe? whatever, kaiser enjoys suffering. ]
also, if youre going to change yourself, it should be for your own sake... you do know that, right.
[ kaiser learned about gaslighting and manipulating a little too hard. it results in poor puppies with horrible separation anxiety, and he just can't deal with that. he's kind of given up on his ideal toxic codependency situation on account of it seeming increasingly unrealistic... so he was forced to say something actually healthy, for once. ]
no subject
[ this is like talking to a wall but the wall is having a schizoaffective episode.
also, riddle doesn't want to hear that stupid shit from his wife. kaiser may be giving up on his dream codependent clusterfuck but unfortunately for him, this puppy was poorly and sick in the head from day one. sorry! riddle is not giving up, his obsession knows no bounds! ]
Oh hush. You know what? Changing myself to make communicating with you and understanding you easier for me will make me happy. If you refuse to tell me outright what things I can do to make you happy and feel listened to, I'll simply have to figure it out myself.
I had better not hear any griping about how I'm making assumptions or failing to consider you from now on. I mean it. I'll put your damned tongue in a mousetrap if I do.
no subject
so then next time you want to scream at me about whatever was bothering you but that you couldnt spit out at the moment can you do it either before i have to fly to a different country to play a match or wait until after...
no subject
Also, you should apologize for making me cry again. My friend is checking us into the hotel, and instead of exploring, I'm hiding behind a potted arrangement, weeping my eyes out because of you! Take responsibility!
no subject
nevertheless, im sorry
[ is he really? well, no. but he'll say it anyways... ]
no subject
[ yeah no, riddle doesn't believe that apology for a second, but he's still trying to inject some levity anyway. he's not sorry either but he'll apologize in a moment too... ]
no subject
no
now is not the time to purity test me
[ also, his default expression is :/ and he has never practiced in the mirror how to look particularly sorry. so he is... NOT doing that! ]
no subject
but still! stupid mean miha won't even try!! ]
SO THAT'S IT YOU WON'T DO ANYTHING TO PROVE YOU'RE SORRY YOU THINK IT'S FINE TO HURT MY FEELINGS AND UPSET ME? Why are you being so mean to me?! I was going to try to make a sorry face for you too but nevermind!
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no subject
Michael Kaiser.
Do you *swear* you're actually sorry for hurting my feelings? (Two times in a row, even)
Do you swear on Peaches' life?
[ >wife politely but firmly requests you not purity test him
>proceeds to give him an even more deranged and frustrating purity test ]
no subject
if i get anything lower than an 8.0 rating playing italy im never so much as entertaining any of this shit ever again
no subject
I get a *little bit* cheeky with you and suddenly I'm wasting your time?! ALL I ASKED IS IF YOU WERE REALLY SORRY BECAUSE IT'S HARD TO TELL WITH YOU SOMETIMES, MAYBE IT DOESN'T MEAN MUCH TO YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT THE STUPID ARSEHOLE ALWAYS CRYING BUT IT WOULD ACTUALLY MEAN A LOT TO ME TO KNOW YOU DO NOT IN FACT ENJOY UPSETTING ME!
This "shit"? What do you mean this "shit"? I don't want to assume so please be more specific.
no subject
dont believe me if you dont want to. just stop lying to me and yourself, it only took you about 5 minutes to switch up your narrative yet again
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[ basically he's just having a tantrum because he felt rebuffed and didn't get what he wanted. nothing out of the ordinary, unfortunately. the brat is simply bratting. ]
Fine... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you even angrier. I wasn't trying to punish you or anything of the sort either. I just yell without thinking, even over text. I wasn't lying when I said I didn't want you to do anything you didn't want to do...
I won't give you anymore stupid tests, and I won't make any extra requests tonight. It's not like I deserve them since I've been so rotten anyway.
[ the worst part about bratting your wife long-distance is the knowledge there's no way you can eke out some comfort from him, which riddle is also wont to do when he doesn't get what he wants. sulking and sniffling won't accomplish anything because kaiser isn't here to be victimized and guilted by it, meaning riddle has to just deal with feeling shitty and inept... ]
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anyways, he's holding himself back from commenting, "we'll see how long you last THIS time". kaiser doesn't enjoy any of this either. truly, he kind of just wants to go on a jog and then sleep, but he knows that bunnies can spontaneously die from loneliness, so he can't leave his phone so easily. ]
alright, then i wont say anything more. i feel like ive repeatedly made my stance clear
i dont care if you change your mind but at least give me a heads up so i know
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meanwhile, riddle would honestly prefer spontaneously dying right now? because it's time to check in and epel and lilia are looking at him like he's a complete lunatic for being so distraught, and now he has to lug his suitcase up with a stuffy nose... it's just overall a miserable and inconvenient situation. ]
You have.
I won't change my mind. I'll be good. And thank you for apologizing before. I'm sorry I acted up rather than just accepting it.
[ he thinks about asking kaiser what he can do to alleviate the tension and make things right again, but he's not too keen on taking any further emotional damage, and quite frankly he's not even sure if there is anything he can do, especially when he's this elevated post-tantrum. sigh... times like these make him wish he kept up his charade of being totally normal. ]
...What will you do now? In terms of your plans for the night, I mean. I'm about to settle into my room. My friends want to explore the beach, but I'm absolutely knackered.
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[ he is a creature who is so complex that he can't help but harm himself due to being way too complicated from time to time. but also, he is incredibly simple all at once. ]
just take a break if you want to
the beach will always be there
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i duckduckgo'd "bayern vs italy score" in class earlier, my condolences
it's okay.. they can still win on the second leg next week...... 🥴
😫 they were close...!!!!! thoughts n prayers man i hope they get it together.........
well........
...........yeah uh,,, good luck.........
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