[ "the honors" as if kaiser has any other means back except a ride share.
noa's eyes glance down at the offered flan, his feet twitching in-between kaiser's loose foothold, and decides it couldn't hurt. he takes the shared spoon and carves out a small piece from the side, then slips it into his mouth in a single smooth motion. its sweet, but in a mellow way that noa can take without grimacing. not growing up with the ability to acquire or interest in candy means he can be quite sensitive to a sharp tang. ]
Hm. They make it good here. [ he sets the spoon and nudges the flan back toward kaiser. ] Enjoy it. I doubt we'll have another meal together for a while.
[ his schedule is going to get busy again soon, he just figured since he had the free night he should take advantage of it. he did so by taking advantage of kaiser. ]
Thanks for spending your precious and scarce free time on li'l old me, then.
[ does he mean it? no. anyways... ]
Did you get what you wanted out of all of this?
[ is it FUN to GASLIGHT him? well, noa can answer that, but kaiser is actually more interested in the post-assessment of their dinner date, because that's so normal and everybody does that. even if it isn't the resounding praise for being an incredibly interesting conversational partner that kaiser thinks he deserves, at least he's washing it all down with a delicious not-too-sweet flan, so everything is fine. ]
Better act fast, if there's anything you forgot to check off your list.
[ he acts as if there's a list. there might be, kaiser thinks, a list. like the black book list... ]
[ it's always fun to gaslight, but especially with kaiser. and really, kaiser should anticipate regular gaslighting after what happened in the NEL years ago! ]
I got to eat a good meal and had good company to share it with, so yes.
[ he reaches for his phone and checks to see if anything pressing has come up in the last couple hours. some messages from his assistant, emails... a lot of activity in the team group chat and he can only assume it's something very silly that the kids are getting a kick out of. ]
If you have anything else you want to do, you should also bring it up now.
[ the thing is that kaiser always reminds himself, "i might get gaslit again! be on the lookout!" but he immediately forgets when it matters. he does love to step into his own problems, though... ]
I want us to be photographed by your car in a way that makes that one picture of Ibrahimović and Piqué look platonic...
[ he's kidding. he's kidding!! he is actually kidding. if he weren't kidding, would he be snickering into his flan like this?! ]
[ never mind piqué was married to shakira. since noa took his phone out first, kaiser thinks that means he's allowed to bust his out too, so he can show noa The Picture... ]
See, you should carry on in their tradition. And me in Casillas's, I guess.
[ because for some reason, iker casillas keeps on trying to come out about somethingon twitter and deleting afterwards. ]
[ noa just stares at the picture, completely expressionless, and after a few seconds makes a 'hrm' ]
Our age difference would be a bigger topic than the photo itself.
[ twelve year age gap with his boywife, would blow up as much as lamine yamal hanging out with a thirty year old influencer (she's 29! she asserts as if it makes a difference!) ]
[ it's okay, m*né's career survived his 13 year age gap marriage and noa surely has even more clout than that! ]
Do you think so? But I have a hunch that plenty of people out there would blame me for it, not you... If that's what you're worried about.
[ it's kaiser's reputation, even though he isn't as flashy as he makes himself seem for the public. that is precisely why he cultivated the image in the first place! ]
I think we would both see judgment, in different ways.
[ for kaiser, they would judge him for not knowing better but also mock any instance they perceive as "special treatment" being because of their relationship. of course plenty would point out that the younger person shouldn't be held to the same level of responsibility as the older. noa knows he would get a lot of heat, because the bigger you are the harder you fall. ]
I'm not worried about anything, really. But I'm not interested in giving the media a reason to generate a scandal for clicks. It would just be a distraction, especially for my team.
[ he wouldn't be distracted because he's the world's strongest idgaf-er, but his team? the pr obsessed management? he does not want to deal with the headaches in would cause. ]
Well, then, give me a call when your team starts running hit pieces against you. I'll be happy to be part of the media distraction...
[ not "if" but "when"!! kaiser knows the falloff is inevitable! if m*ssi couldn't escape it, he has full faith noa will not either. ]
Don't worry, my reputation can take it. Besides, I think I could make it a worthwhile trade in the long-run.
[ he's kidding. but he's also serious. but he's also extra kidding! maybe the flan has put him in a good mood, he's even eaten it relatively quickly too. ]
Who else is going to visit you regularly in the retirement house to make sure that you haven't hung yourself out of boredom?
[ kaiser is the one who should probably be checked on a regular basis to make sure he isn't going to do something insane and irreversible, not noa, but whatever man! ]
Also, that might be true for now... but compared to you, I'm going to be far more accomplished and beloved by the world by the time I'm in my thirties. [ and noa can write that down! ]
You sound like Chris Prince. [ too far? it's kind of true though. ] And while I appreciate the concern, I'll be fine. Retirement will give me a chance to raise a borzoi like I've wanted to.
Ew. [ gross! kaiser makes a face. ] It's different. Chris Prince says that because he has a massive chip on his shoulder, but I say it because it's the fate I have to bear.
[ does this make sense? does it make it sound like kaiser has delusions of grandeur? far from it, actually, it's more of an expectation looming over his head like the sword of damocles.
he'll go visit to pet the borzoi and try to make it love him more than it loves noa... ]
[ his poor little german is still convinced he is the main character of this universe. meanwhile noa has accepted he is the villain to be smited! it's brought him great peace. ]
Come on, let's get you back home so you can dwell on your burdened fate in front of a mirror.
[ why does he say this? well, he is pretty sure he heard kaiser talking into his mirror from the guest bathroom a few years ago when they lived together during his recovery. ]
[ what's the point of reinforcing your self-gaslighting at night? it's most effective right after getting up! noa might not have asked, but isn't he glad to know that kaiser does, in fact, make an effort to construct the sequence of events that he goes through in a day to best align with the goal of getting better at kicking ball?
he won't do anything corny like make noa escort him, he's a big boy and can get up all on his own. he leaves the silverware and his napkin neatly placed, but without any over-courteous effort towards doing the waitstaff's job for them. as they leave the restaurant, though, he will ask— ]
Are you going to open the car door for me? [ germany's princess?? ]
[ oddly, yes, he does think a morning self-affirmation is ritual has a better flow for the rest of the day. however, kaiser should also complete a ritual for the evening where he evaluates his successes and his failures. this is important for well-rounded growth to set expectations in the morning and reflect on accomplishments and short-comings before bed. of course this is part of noa's rituals, except he doesn't do it in front of a mirror.
noa politely thanks the waiter and host as they leave, sweeping his eyes across the street to make sure there aren't any diehard fans waiting in the wings or reporters monitoring their movements. this restaurant is in a quieter part of the city, but he has been caught existing in 4k before! the coast seems clear though. ]
...Hm? [ he was momentarily distracted by his checks that he nearly missed that question. so he just blinks with a wide-eye stare, his brain taking a beat to process the request. ] Why should I?
[ (for a second, a terrible thought crosses his mind: open the door, but then promptly slam it in kaiser's face. or, rather, test if kaiser can make it through the short-window of opportunity to get into his seat before the slam. he thinks better of it because there are limits to how unhinged his little acts of horror toward kaiser can and should be. mostly, they should serve a real purpose and not "it would be funny to watch him scramble." ]
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no subject
noa's eyes glance down at the offered flan, his feet twitching in-between kaiser's loose foothold, and decides it couldn't hurt. he takes the shared spoon and carves out a small piece from the side, then slips it into his mouth in a single smooth motion. its sweet, but in a mellow way that noa can take without grimacing. not growing up with the ability to acquire or interest in candy means he can be quite sensitive to a sharp tang. ]
Hm. They make it good here. [ he sets the spoon and nudges the flan back toward kaiser. ] Enjoy it. I doubt we'll have another meal together for a while.
[ his schedule is going to get busy again soon, he just figured since he had the free night he should take advantage of it. he did so by taking advantage of kaiser. ]
no subject
[ does he mean it? no. anyways... ]
Did you get what you wanted out of all of this?
[ is it FUN to GASLIGHT him? well, noa can answer that, but kaiser is actually more interested in the post-assessment of their dinner date, because that's so normal and everybody does that. even if it isn't the resounding praise for being an incredibly interesting conversational partner that kaiser thinks he deserves, at least he's washing it all down with a delicious not-too-sweet flan, so everything is fine. ]
Better act fast, if there's anything you forgot to check off your list.
[ he acts as if there's a list. there might be, kaiser thinks, a list. like the black book list... ]
no subject
I got to eat a good meal and had good company to share it with, so yes.
[ he reaches for his phone and checks to see if anything pressing has come up in the last couple hours. some messages from his assistant, emails... a lot of activity in the team group chat and he can only assume it's something very silly that the kids are getting a kick out of. ]
If you have anything else you want to do, you should also bring it up now.
no subject
I want us to be photographed by your car in a way that makes that one picture of Ibrahimović and Piqué look platonic...
[ he's kidding. he's kidding!! he is actually kidding. if he weren't kidding, would he be snickering into his flan like this?! ]
no subject
What picture?
[ does he know?.jpg <-- guy who earnestly doesn't know, he doesn't pay attention to gossip rags and social media pr. ]
no subject
[ never mind piqué was married to shakira. since noa took his phone out first, kaiser thinks that means he's allowed to bust his out too, so he can show noa The Picture... ]
See, you should carry on in their tradition. And me in Casillas's, I guess.
[ because for some reason, iker casillas keeps on trying to come out about something on twitter and deleting afterwards. ]
no subject
Our age difference would be a bigger topic than the photo itself.
[ twelve year age gap with his boywife, would blow up as much as lamine yamal hanging out with a thirty year old influencer (she's 29! she asserts as if it makes a difference!) ]
no subject
Do you think so? But I have a hunch that plenty of people out there would blame me for it, not you... If that's what you're worried about.
[ it's kaiser's reputation, even though he isn't as flashy as he makes himself seem for the public. that is precisely why he cultivated the image in the first place! ]
no subject
[ for kaiser, they would judge him for not knowing better but also mock any instance they perceive as "special treatment" being because of their relationship. of course plenty would point out that the younger person shouldn't be held to the same level of responsibility as the older. noa knows he would get a lot of heat, because the bigger you are the harder you fall. ]
I'm not worried about anything, really. But I'm not interested in giving the media a reason to generate a scandal for clicks. It would just be a distraction, especially for my team.
[ he wouldn't be distracted because he's the world's strongest idgaf-er, but his team? the pr obsessed management? he does not want to deal with the headaches in would cause. ]
no subject
[ not "if" but "when"!! kaiser knows the falloff is inevitable! if m*ssi couldn't escape it, he has full faith noa will not either. ]
Don't worry, my reputation can take it. Besides, I think I could make it a worthwhile trade in the long-run.
[ he's kidding. but he's also serious. but he's also extra kidding! maybe the flan has put him in a good mood, he's even eaten it relatively quickly too. ]
no subject
Trade what? My post-career reputation for...? You don't have very much to offer me.
no subject
[ kaiser is the one who should probably be checked on a regular basis to make sure he isn't going to do something insane and irreversible, not noa, but whatever man! ]
Also, that might be true for now... but compared to you, I'm going to be far more accomplished and beloved by the world by the time I'm in my thirties. [ and noa can write that down! ]
no subject
You sound like Chris Prince. [ too far? it's kind of true though. ] And while I appreciate the concern, I'll be fine. Retirement will give me a chance to raise a borzoi like I've wanted to.
no subject
[ does this make sense? does it make it sound like kaiser has delusions of grandeur? far from it, actually, it's more of an expectation looming over his head like the sword of damocles.
he'll go visit to pet the borzoi and try to make it love him more than it loves noa... ]
no subject
[ his poor little german is still convinced he is the main character of this universe. meanwhile noa has accepted he is the villain to be smited! it's brought him great peace. ]
Come on, let's get you back home so you can dwell on your burdened fate in front of a mirror.
[ why does he say this? well, he is pretty sure he heard kaiser talking into his mirror from the guest bathroom a few years ago when they lived together during his recovery. ]
no subject
[ what's the point of reinforcing your self-gaslighting at night? it's most effective right after getting up! noa might not have asked, but isn't he glad to know that kaiser does, in fact, make an effort to construct the sequence of events that he goes through in a day to best align with the goal of getting better at kicking ball?
he won't do anything corny like make noa escort him, he's a big boy and can get up all on his own. he leaves the silverware and his napkin neatly placed, but without any over-courteous effort towards doing the waitstaff's job for them. as they leave the restaurant, though, he will ask— ]
Are you going to open the car door for me? [ germany's princess?? ]
no subject
noa politely thanks the waiter and host as they leave, sweeping his eyes across the street to make sure there aren't any diehard fans waiting in the wings or reporters monitoring their movements. this restaurant is in a quieter part of the city, but he has been caught existing in 4k before! the coast seems clear though. ]
...Hm? [ he was momentarily distracted by his checks that he nearly missed that question. so he just blinks with a wide-eye stare, his brain taking a beat to process the request. ] Why should I?
[ (for a second, a terrible thought crosses his mind: open the door, but then promptly slam it in kaiser's face. or, rather, test if kaiser can make it through the short-window of opportunity to get into his seat before the slam. he thinks better of it because there are limits to how unhinged his little acts of horror toward kaiser can and should be. mostly, they should serve a real purpose and not "it would be funny to watch him scramble." ]