[ noa's eyes open half-lid, the back of the hand still to his lips as he mutters- ] Patience.
[ he rubs his fingers into the neck, a gentle threat, and tries to do a read on kaiser's face. anyone would have proper fear over having their neck in a hold, but he's seen kaiser do it to himself without hesitation. noticed the restraint in the grip of it because he knew someone was watching. noa doesn't want that in his presence. he wants to be someone kaiser can express his worst impulses with, not in the rot of comfort but with the knowledge that noa will neither flinch nor judge.
his fingers dig in an imitation of what he saw before, a firmer press upon the rose marked by his bites in particular. he loosens and frees his hold on the wrist, the tender motion having served its purpose, then brings that hand down below the navel to graze at the waistband. he waits for kaiser to imagine the obvious next move before going lower, opting not to slip into the pants but keep above and settle his hand over the outline of the hardening cock. ]
[ is that the answer to his question or a suggestion of what he wants kaiser to exercise? noa might be able to see a metaphorical question mark go up over kaiser's head for a few seconds, if he squints hard enough, but kaiser won't dwell upon it too much. it's probably the former, and he doesn't have much room to ponder it anyways.
kaiser is not unaware that people have noticed this particular bad habit of his. he's seen the "every time he's touched his rose tattoo during a match 💙🌹" thread on twitter because grim showed it to him, with a comment on the beautiful yet tragic symbolism of it all — grim isn't exactly wrong about that. kaiser's eyes close like he intends to drift off to sleep as his breathing slows and deepens, not even remotely panicked at this turn of events now that he's registered this has to happen. it's definitely not a normal reaction to relax when somebody's hand is pressing more firmly on your neck on several levels, but to kaiser, this is a familiar and not undesirable sensation.
he should feel like this every once in a while, he thinks, so he remembers what's at stake.
since his other hand has been freed, he'll blindly drape that on noa's other leg. when noa touches his dick, kaiser rolls his hips up ever so slightly and opens his eyes, but it's almost a touch sluggish — these aren't the usual quick, precise movements usually he brings to everything — and his pupils have constricted slightly, the same way they often do when kaiser is staring down the shot path for a goal with ferocious intensity, except he's not looking at anything at all in the moment. getting choked isn't really a sexual thing for him, but — well, his body's interested, it seems. ]
... More. [ he can handle it. with his right hand, he curls his fingers into noa's thigh, as if to assert that at the very least, he's still in control of his own body. ]
[ noa, whether it be to his credit or not, has experience engaging in this act with at least one partner who often asked for the indulgence. the first time he was neither nervous about the request nor judgmental, but rather he didn't understand the appeal. louis explained that he felt exhilarated when his body entered the flight or fight state, how it made him feel sharper, desperate, even powerful. he even brought up a point noa never considered -- this is what being an athlete is all about. throughout the entire game you have to be ready to react at a moment's notice, constantly shifting and adapting to the tide. every game should be played as if it were the last, ready to throw your life on the line to win. a good player can make fight or flight work in their favor by learning to control it.
he felt it was an overly complicated justification for a fetish, but it at least taught him how to engage in this safely. or as safe as one can possibly be when choking another person. careful increments are necessary.
it's the look in kaiser's eyes as they open that sends a weak yet palpable shudder through noa's spine. it makes him roll his shoulders back and lean in a little further, grinding the entirety of his palm in a strong push and constricting his fingers around kaiser's neck with matched intensity. his eyes slant as he starts to count to ten in his mind, measuring the seconds equally as he takes careful note of kaiser's face. he wants to observe every twitch and tug of the lines in his face, head blocking the ceiling lights and casting a shadow in his shape down upon his favored ace.
ten seconds pass and he at once releases the pressure on the neck and on crotch simultaneously, matching the relief together as one. create an association between the two for the ideal output. ]
[ other social media things that kaiser has seen, even if he will never give an indication of it, is a youtube video with the clickbait title of "Could the Kaiser Impact KILL a GROWN MAN?" that is an analysis of just how much havoc it could wreak on different targets. anyways, given his propensity to put his own hands on his neck while freaking out, kaiser will be happy to test out the video's hypothesis on noa if he somehow links the sensation of fingers pressing into his neck with getting off. kaiser prefers to deepen the ways he is already a freak rather than add to the list, but that's just him.
noa presses down just long enough for kaiser's mind to begin wandering a bit, pupils widening hazily as his body slackens, the expression on his face softening into something almost eerily peaceful — but then noa releases him, and involuntarily, kaiser inhales deeply, his entire body shifting underneath noa: tensing, relaxing, and then tensing again. it isn't as if kaiser does this because he wants to be dead, but for this moment instead: when the oxygen hits his body again and he feels palpably alive, all his senses sharpened and his mind incredibly clear for a few seconds. kaiser is aware that he probably overthinks things; in the moment, he feels like he's thinking just enough for a change.
his mouth waters as his breathing returns to normal. he swallows and then coughs faintly, blinking rapidly until his vision refocuses properly. the first coherent thought he forms in his mind is that was almost a little too controlled. ]
... You're familiar with this. [ a statement, not a question. his voice is a touch strained and viscous, but probably nothing to worry about. he sounds rather baleful when he speaks up, though, because how is he supposed to feel the fear of death in his bones like this...
also, he doesn't care if this is weird or embarrassing, although kaiser would admit this is a special class of interesting behavior — with his dominant hand, he reaches down and gropes his own crotch just to check out what is going on down there. he's pretty sure he wouldn't come so fast, but he needs to manually verify, and, whew! only embarrassingly hard, kaiser can live with that. ]
[ but can kaiser truly kill him in a way that matters? noa may be more interested to finding out the answer to that than is socially acceptable. though this evening may begin to clue him into the fact that the world's best is a borderline psychopath. the time to be concerned about that has long past however.
noa slides his hand off kaiser's neck and rests it on his collarbone as he watches every stage of his recovery. there's a calculated lack of pressure, and even the hand far lower down moves to settle over the adjacent thigh. he doesn't want to physically disturb kaiser through this moment and he won't offer any touch or sign of comfort. his observation is ever clinical. kaiser's need to check how hard he is (or maybe if he accidentally came?) only registers as faint surprise for noa. a sign of the expected inexperience. ]
I am. [ it wasn't a question, but he answers it as such. he doesn't think it requires elaboration where he learned it because you can only acquire a skill like this through experience. there's also no point in asking if kaiser liked it -- his body has clearly made that decision. he gently drums his fingers beneath the collarbone, the hollow thrum beneath a pleasant sound. ] Do you want me to do it again?
If not, I can make good on my word.
[ to swallow him, that is. though it's hard to say how long kaiser will last when just being touched beneath layers is already having such an effect on him. ]
[ kaiser's not disinterested in general, but any immediate interest has fully left his body with the discovery that noa knows what he's doing. he won't be able to get into it with the thought that there's no real threat to it all polluting his mind. he'll think himself out of it later, maybe.
since he's done manually checking his dick status, kaiser raises his hand to push noa's hand away from his collarbone — without much force upon impact, but he pushes harder as the seconds pass, before twisting his grip to grab at noa's wrist. ]
If I allow it, will you let me do the same in turn?
[ he's not looking at noa when he replies, but he's not going out of his way to avoid noa's gaze either. rather, his eyes are darting around like a cornered predator might react: he isn't giving in and showing his neck, he's measuring the situation and assessing what space he has to operate in. his mind feels clearer now, he's not about to waste a good state of mind for nothing — he seems to have calmed down noticeably, but in a way that suggests sharpening rather than softening. ]
[ a curious decision, but there's no space to contemplate kaiser's decision when he uses that crazy grip strength on his wrist. he doesn't pull away only because he doesn't sense that kaiser is doing anything more than trying to grab his attention. noa instead pays attention to the clarity in his sharpened gaze, how calm the request he makes is. is that the desired outcome when he puts the hand to his neck? ]
Mhm. Sure.
[ he's not opposed, he just doesn't know how satisfying it'll be. the exchange is reasonable, but has kaiser even given oral before? noa decides not to ask because he'll find out in due time.
he hooks the fingers of his free hand into the waistband of the sweatpants, gaze steady on kaiser's to see if they have an agreement. if kaiser is a cornered predator, noa is a confident one. anything could change, but he still doesn't think of kaiser as a real threat to him in any context the word could be applied. not equals. even so, he's never so arrogant as to think he can't be outwitted. particularly right now when he can feel how kaiser has gained an uncanny calm through his body. it's exciting on its own. ]
[ kaiser gets the distinct sense that he is not getting taken seriously with how thoroughly nonchalant that response is, but he'll restrain his temper over it because he got a "yes", and also... fair enough. kaiser himself is about to find out how far a weak gag reflex and a lack of shame can go when there's not much experience guaranteed. ]
Wooow... here I thought you'd at least like the chance to keep my mouth occupied...
[ but since he's gotten what he asked for, kaiser lets go of noa's wrist without fanfare, suggesting kaiser isn't fully aware that he probably should be more careful with his freakish grip strength. he's physically tense, but not wound up — ready to react, but carefully and with deliberation. he'll even be helpful and raise his hips, both to tacitly signal that he's fine with how this is developing and, to once, be helpful. there's none of the usual shyness or reticence that usually comes with a lack of experience; if anything, kaiser's craning his neck slightly to watch noa's next move. it'd be wrong to think that this also means kaiser is comfortable with his own body based on the fact that he seems unbothered by the fact that he's about to be exposed — it'd be more accurate to say that kaiser treats his own body with a measured amount of indifference. ]
[ such a terrible line to drop, and he isn't going to give any time for it to hang between them. he's able to shuck kaiser's pants down easily with his hips raised, but doesn't remove the briefs next. instead he dips his head down, hunching his body in a practiced flex, and coyly mouths the erection underneath the layer. makes it seem like he's about to bite before flattening his tongue against the hard clothed flesh, hands gripping and digging into kaiser's hips to keep him steady. a bit of tease and taunt and taste of what's to come.
he wasn't lying about wanting to draw this out. sex is a game of endurance and noa chases his pleasure by dragging his chosen partner into unraveling beneath him. no two people come undone the same way and that's why you need to be patient. don't rush or demand, and don't capitulate to pleas for release. there is a mechanical need to fulfill yes, but an ego driven one as well.
noa drag his tongue firm and slow against cotton, feeling out the size of the girth, then lifts his face to hover above the wet spot he made. then his hands leave the hips and pull down the briefs, immediately taking the cock in one hand to steady it as he pushes his lips to envelop the head. his tongue flattens under the flesh and his mouth wets around the warm intrusion as he sucks with calculated motion. ]
[ dropping that line is like a delayed weapon. kaiser will be sure to cringe over it, but he'll be taking the psychic damage far later.
but in the moment, kaiser props himself up on an elbow to better watch, an understanding of noa's game coming into his mind. it's less an epiphany that he can put to words than it is a feeling that he gets, but he understands that he absolutely cannot let himself come completely undone or it's his loss. the good thing is that this kind of challenge is fairly well-suited for kaiser's blend of derangement and horrible self-image; the bad news is that he's an inexperienced teenager. it'll be an internal battle for which of his worst traits wins (loses?) alongside the external battle against noa to hang in there.
his lower lip twists in a way that suggests disgust more than anything else, fingers curling into the bedsheets underneath him as noa's mouth moves against his cock. it feels good, but he's also vaguely put off by something that he can't quite put a finger on — the dampness of cloth on his dick, maybe. or maybe it's the entire scenario, and his love-hate relationship with feeling like he's being held down, but kaiser hasn't self-inspected enough to understand that yet! ]
Is this... [ there's a pause as he closes his eyes briefly, blinking as he gathers himself — his thighs tense and he exhales, voice rasping slightly as he continues: ] Your set routine, perhaps? Get on with it.
[ "this doesn't work well on me," is what he's communicating. that's not bravado, because it doesn't, but the fact that kaiser is bold enough to insist upon it is certainly a special kind of unfounded confidence. ]
[ the price to pay for wanting to hear kaiser through this is that he has to hear kaiser through this. however, as kaiser will know from their general interactions, noa has a high pain tolerance for mouthy brats. he's not taking feedback on his technique in the middle of things. at a certain point, kaiser is going to start running short on breath and he'll need to decide what's more important - commentary or enduring. noa won't rush, but he looks forward to it.
his tongue is slow as it swirls and teases the head, paying only incidental attention to the slit as he laps without greed. however, it's akin to distraction. his real move is to warm-up the cock, which has only gotten hard from grinding and pressure behind the layers of their clothes. the thin lines of drool that trickle down are dragged out by his palm, a slick lubricant in his faintly sweaty palm to stroke the cock with. from where his lips encircle to the base, he paces his hand's movements in time with the gentle focused sucking.
it goes on for a few moments before noa half-opens his mouth, inhaling soft and full, and inches the cock a little further in before closing around it. he doesn't know how far he can swallow, sucking further and harder with the new bit, but he can bear the tensing in his jaw to try. maybe he'll let him fuck his mouth, see if kaiser will take some perverse pleasure from the act. he wants to know what thrills the ace and then take advantage of it. noa isn't a beast of a pride - he can debase himself to get ahead when there's a strong enough ulterior motive. ]
[ on the flipside, kaiser would say that he has to mouth off while he still can. it might be better as a long-term strategy to keep quiet throughout, to make it less obvious how affected he is by any given thing, but he didn't think of that — next time, maybe.
kaiser's still watching all of this unfold, as if he can be an audience member and participant at once. part of his gaze is observational, as if he's taking notes for future reference; there's also something to his expression that suggests faint self-disgust, or like he's disappointed in himself for enjoying this. his inexperience shows in the way that kaiser reacts, unable to stop himself from squirming slightly, unconsciously attempting to bring his legs together as if this will help him stave off the build-up of pleasure in his body. but he can, at least, attempt to match noa's pace — his breathing seems to naturally sync up with noa's movements, inhaling raggedly when he feels a bit of a lull, and holding his breath tensely when noa escalates.
his eyes briefly dart upwards as noa slides his mouth along the length of kaiser's dick, blinking rapidly for a moment before he looks back down. he laughs faintly, almost more of a shaky exhale — and again, why not? if it was kind of funny to do this under the unideal circumstances, it's obviously even funnier that he's now watching himself get sucked off by the world's greatest under the same circumstances — and he untenses a little when he finally breathes out, cock twitching faintly in noa's mouth. kaiser is glad he doesn't have to see it, because the tip is probably leaking embarrassingly with precum.
it says something, maybe, that even in this circumstance, it feels like the person kaiser is struggling the most against is himself. he's not so shy as to pass up an attempt to fuck into noa's mouth, but he doesn't want to react; his hips jerk erratically, but he holds back the impulse as best as he can. he has the body language of a spring being wound up, tension building alongside the pleasure, and perhaps faster than the latter at that. his left hand goes to the side of his neck again, palm firmly pressed against the rose blooming there, but without curling his fingers in. he should relax, he knows, and he thinks this is the most effective way of making himself do that — but it doesn't seem to draw out the intended effect very well. ]
[ through the small inching of time coupled with the inching of pushing the length further in, noa has to take an abrupt pause as kaiser's body starts to jerk and tense at the same time. one sudden thrust nearly makes him choke, his brow pinching hard as the head shoves roughly against the opening of his throat. his eyes dart up in time to catch kaiser grabbing his own neck, but noa can tell that isn't going to cut it. instinct warns him to act fast or this is going to end badly for both of them.
his hands move with a mix of impulse and purpose, knowing the most effective and time sensitive move to make. the left hand grips and seizes the hip to forcibly steady the jerking. his right curls around kaiser's thigh, drawing it in until he can grapple the leg entirely against the crook of his arm. he breathes in slow and steady through his nose and uses his hold on the leg to take the last slide forward, wet lips finally hitting the base.
with that he exhales, feels the salty warmth of precum mixing with his saliva, then inhales again as he hollows out his cheeks and relaxes his throat. like this, the haphazard and rough jerking isn't painful and his gag reflex is easier to control. his body, knees shifting on the mattress and back faintly sore, turns rigid to better support kaiser's erratic movements. now it won't matter how much kaiser jerks, intentional or not, noa's features relaxing as well as he sucks gentle and turns his mouth into a warm sleeve. his eyes shut to a half-lid and when his legs adjust he can feel how hard he is. it's a shame he can't relieve some of that right now with his hand, not while kaiser can't control his body.
it's obviously a case of inexperience. his left hand carefully leaves the hip for a moment to reach out for kaiser's free hand, trying to grasp at least the wrist and guide it toward the top of his head. he doesn't have much hair, but what kaiser can grab at toward the front should at least stabilize him as his body bucks and thrusts in a desperate rush to reach climax. kaiser is mentally pushing back against his physical reactions to getting swallowed up and that's just so like him isn't it? it's a little funny even. noa expected resistance, but he's impressed at how much kaiser is reigning himself in. however, his labored breathing, his body's struggle between giving in and holding onto control, it's all pointing too how much its affecting him. there's no mistaking it, but still he tries to resist. he likes that about kaiser though. the internal struggle he can see in those fierce eyes as he tries to reach and claw at what he wants because he thinks it's what he needs.
noa wants him -- as a rival most of all, in a carnal manner too. he can only have one in the end and he knows what he will pick. for now, he'll take him like this and pull back that horrible urge forming to force kaiser to swallow his own load. that might earn him the broken nose for sure. ]
[ after the mistletoe incident, noa should be aware that kaiser is on guard for having things spat into his mouth at any time. is that objectively a weird thing to be on edge for? well, maybe noa should have a second thought over what he's done to a poor german boy's psyche if he thinks so.
the thing about inexperience is that kaiser can't even appreciate that he's being guided in the right direction. maybe in retrospect he'll realize it, but that's far off on the horizon — it's not like kaiser would've appreciated it even if he could recognize it, so maybe that doesn't matter. at any rate, his initial reaction to noa grabbing at his hand is to jerk away slightly — but then he relaxes into the hold, as if the surface tension across him has broken. he seems almost agog at where noa's leading him, eyes wide and wary, like he's anticipating some kind of gotcha moment at the end of this, but his hand settles near the crown of noa's head and this, too, is oddly soothing.
if he weren't horribly repressed, kaiser might recognize this as the natural effect of feeling the touch of another person and accepting it for what it is. as it is, kaiser tilts his head back for a moment, breathing in deeply and letting instinct lead, letting his mind clear the way it does when he knows there's a goal in front of him. when he stops overthinking it so severely, he begins to respond more fluidly — his fingers brush through noa's hair before settling, curling against his scalp in a way that's firm without being too overbearing. his entire body curls inwards a little, inadvertently nudging his dick further into noa's mouth as kaiser finally lets himself properly register the sensation of pleasure building up, somewhere low in his abdomen and spreading outwards from there.
he writhes in the tentative way of somebody who has no idea what is happening, movements slight but undeniable: kaiser's idea of sexual release has been straightforward and somewhat underwhelming, to the point that this feels like a different experience altogether than what he's used to. he doesn't have the mental coherence to put it together in the moment, but he knows in a fundamental sense that noa is playing him like an instrument right now. his victory is in the fact that he's pulled something new out of kaiser, coaxing the desire to seek pleasure out of one of the most repressed people around, to the point that kaiser's not in full control of the way that his body reacts to it. if kaiser doesn't buck his hips up to push his dick further into noa's mouth, it's not for a lack of desire to chase what feels good, but more a reflection of kaiser's base nature: more of a squirmer, unable to stay still when he loses control over himself even though he'd like to.
kaiser would be frustrated over all of this, but he doesn't have the bandwidth to dedicate to actively registering that at the moment. he inhales sharply as noa continues, without apparent regard for kaiser's plight to keep it together; he opens his mouth to say something, maybe give an indication that he feels like he's on the precipice of falling so maaaybe stop building him up, but—
rest assured that kaiser will be mentally and severely berating himself over it later, but instead he groans emphatically and attempts to pull erratically at noa's hair, to minimal success — this is all the advance warning noa will get before kaiser comes. the way that orgasm hits him is less explosive so much as it is protracted, aftershocks rolling through his body before he can even fully register the wave of pleasure that preceded it: all he can do is get swept along, subconsciously attempting to press his legs together as if he can restrain the sheer amount of sensation physically, thoroughly overwhelmed to that kaiser will at least spare himself the active knowledge that he can't hold back his voice, moaning and making almost animalistic vocalizations between breaths. if it's hot to sound like an injured predator, well — it must be for somebody, right? ]
[ perhaps one day noa will have to reflect on the consequences of his actions. when that day comes, almost certainly after he leaves japan, he will come to the conclusion that when one fucks around they are always bound to find out.
in the present he's too busy with a cock in his mouth and a writhing body torn between chasing pleasure and retreating from it. he firms his grip on hip and thigh, groaning gently when his hair is pulled and his head reined in with it, and remains patient as kaiser's climax nears. the uncoordinated movement means he can't predict when he can expect the head to hit against the wall of his throat versus when it will retract back to the base of his tongue. if he didn't have practice doing this before, he would have absolutely choked and had to pull away at this juncture. as it stands, his fingers tense when kaiser curls in and he blinks rapidly as he feels his eyes tearing up from the strain on his gag reflex. if kaiser can hear anything past his own groans, it'll be a heaving guttural rasp out of noa's throat that vibrates through his mouth and around the hardened flesh in his mouth.
but god, the horrific symphony of sounds from kaiser - like getting struck by lightning, a rapid electric current rippling through his nervous system accompanied by cum shooting down his throat. even as kaiser may try to press his legs and pull back from the orgasm, as if such a thing could be accomplished, noa automatically braces and pushes right back to keep him open. he has no choice but to hollow his cheeks out as much as his face permits to suck and swallow the rolling waves expelled. unfortunately for kaiser, vocalizing like he may be about to die, noa can't remember the last time he was so turned on. nothing has physically been done to him through all of this, but he can feel his dick straining tightly under his pants.
it never lasts as long as anyone thinks it will, though that may not be true for someone who can count his sexual experiences on a single hand. regardless, as kaiser's body starts to settle down from squirming and writhing, noa slowly pulls back and swirls his tongue just before he wetly pops the head from his mouth. he inhales rough and a hand jerks up to his throat as he heaves a string of dry and ragged cough. now that it's over, he can feel the muscles in his jaw tighten and ache, fingers touching and feeling how swollen his throat is. fuck, it's been a while since he's gotten this intense with a partner.
he pulls his body back entirely and swings his stiff legs over the bed, planting his feet to the ground as he gathers his bearings. if kaiser is expecting any after care, it's not going to be in the immediate. in fact - he's going to get up and grab his water bottle off the console, taking a few sips before continuing to clear his throat with coughs. lukewarm water washes down the salty metallic bitter of cum still clinging to the membrane, and he half-wonders if some of it went down the wrong pipe. ]
[ when kaiser asphyxiates himself, it's because he's chasing the sensation of mental clarity that follows; this has exactly the opposite effect. his thoughts are hazy for a few moments too long, but kaiser can't even bring himself to get upset over it when the emotion won't form properly in his head. once the post-orgasm haze begins to clear up, though, one could not be blamed for thinking that kaiser just went through something completely different, because his first reaction is to bring his hands up to his face, over his eyes, and then to make a sound reminiscent of a wounded animal.
horrible. horrible. not the blowjob, that was like a fundamentally different experience than any of the youthful fumbling about kaiser has done in the past. and that's exactly what is so horrible, kaiser feels like he just unlocked a spectrum of feelings that he previously was unaware that he could feel. they all felt pretty damn good, which is terrible. it's a bad day to be a repressed, masochistic young german man who just discovered that you actually can feel good in a normal and straightforward way...
the good thing about this is that he can't immediately witness the state he left noa in, or else he would crash out even harder. he groans into his palms again, rubbing his fingers into his eyes slightly as if he thinks this will somehow help in any way. no aftercare is perfectly fine with him — it's preferred, even. after another moment to wallow, kaiser sighs with far more world-weariness than any nineteen-year-old should have before reaching down to tuck his dick away. he doesn't care if it's still damp and uncomfortable under his clothing, he instinctively feels that he should protect the little emperor from further treatment, whether good or bad.
kaiser tricks himself mentally into thinking that he is now in a more secure position than before and forces himself to sit up. he glances over at noa, staring owlishly as noa drinks from his water bottle. internally he debates saying the worst thing that pops into his mind, but (1) nothing comes to mind, and (2) he immediately realizes the folly in that. maybe after a few more orgasms, kaiser's self-preservation instinct will be factory reset and return to something acceptably normal? ]
[ please, just let him get the humiliation over with. kaiser's gaze drifts downwards and good lord, he doesn't want to feel relieved that noa's probably still interested, but a part of him feels like he's going to get told about the virtue of patience again... ]
[ those noises would be worrying if it were anyone but kaiser. if he was a younger man he'd wonder if he even did a good job, though never ask because god if that wouldn't be so mortifying. as he is now, noa doesn't have any outward reaction to kaiser going through the five stages of grief in under a minute. for one, he's too busy still sipping from his water and roughly clearing his throat. for another...
it's a little too relatable. noa understands kaiser is deeply repressed and averse to any touch he doesn't initiate, and it's like looking from the outside in at his own experience as a repressed youth. with his tank build, stoic attitude, and a face that made him look a few years older than he was, everyone in the youth academy thought noa was getting the most action. it wasn't uncommon to go out for a night to the club and catch the attention of women who meant business, so the rumors were never-ending. in reality, noa never perceived himself as someone with sexual urges until he began fooling around with jin. the first time they had sex, jin insisted he be on top and it was... terrible, so good, disgusting, mind numbing. noa felt like a feral beast who had just gotten a chunk bitten out of him, bleeding and dying crushed into the mattress, yet the euphoria cascading over his body told another story.
he doesn't think he made the noises kaiser did now, but he remembers clawing the sheets and groaning into the pillow trapped between bodily pleasure and mental anguish. jin raked nails down his back while panting like a fevered dog, his voice all too pleased when he asked how he felt, and noa wanted to killed him with his bare hands.
noa breathes in and wipes the sweat off his brow, shaking the hand of his hand off before turning to look at kaiser. he almost wants to ask if kaiser can really handle it, because he looks so very awful right now, but he thinks better than to insult a wounded animal. ]
Sure. [ his voice is hoarse and ragged and he doesn't even try to disguise it before stepping back to the bed. the bulge in his sweatpants is all the more evident when he sits. ] Just don't deep throat like I did. You'll choke.
[ he's not trying to insult him but! he will choke. noa hasn't done that in a while and he barely made it through. it's a technique and a first-timer will be very sorry for attempting it. ]
[ let it be known that if kaiser was aware that he was causing noa to have a flashback moment through his personal lore and relating to kaiser's experiences through it, kaiser would make the five stages of grief look funny and inconsequential in how he'd react to that information. ]
You choked me earlier, what's the difference.
[ normal people see an obvious difference here. anyways, let kaiser make his youthful mistakes! the suffering builds character. the real question is if kaiser will ever stop building character, at this rate.
he slides off of the bed himself; he'll do this the old fashioned way, on his knees, between noa's legs. he does not love this positioning, but it's the most stable and least risky. his expression as he pulls at the waistband of noa's sweats is so solemn and focused that it looks more like he's pulled up at the exam of his lifetime, which is ironic — he felt fairly nonchalant before the practice match that got him into bastard münchen officially. he leans forwards to observe what he's about to put in his mouth, when a thought occurs to him— ]
Hold my hair back, it'll get in the way.
[ it's just long enough in the front to hang into his face annoyingly if he has to look down... good thing he doesn't need to look down to keep track of the ball. ]
[ and he is not interested in explaining this to kaiser, he can figure it out if he thinks about it for a few minutes.
there's no reaction in seeing kaiser sink to his knees and he lifts slightly off the bed to ease the pull down. the cool air wafting through the room feels nice when his member is freed, fingers tensing momentarily before it normalizes. he can't tell what's going through kaiser's head in the moment, but decides it doesn't matter. they've crossed so many boundaries tonight, what's one more? bad decisions compounding on one another and earning interest over stretched out minutes. it's too late and neither of them will sleep well tonight.
noa obliges the request and sweeps his hands on either side of kaiser's head, lifting blond strands and gently pulling them back while threading his fingers through the scalp to hold them in place. it's easier to see kaiser's face from this position and watch his next move, knowing what's about to happen but not how. ]
[ to be fair, noa doesn't need to explain it. kaiser knows, he just doesn't want to admit it. ]
Firmly.
[ because his hair tends to go flyaway very easily, not because he's into getting his hair pulled. maybe he is into it, but that has nothing to do with the request! even before that, though, this is a great vantage point for a rare occurrence ever since he finished his growth spurt: michael kaiser glaring upwards, with intensity only a few notches lower than when he's visually lining up a shot.
he has to consider his angle here, but in the end, he decides to play things safe to start out and gauge where he should go with a measured amount of consideration. kaiser places a hand on noa's leg, high up the thigh, and circles the fingers of his other hand around the base of his cock, parting his lips to primly take noa's cock into his mouth and licking roughly at the very tip. he breathes in through his nose, mouth hollowing as he tilts his head so he can wrap his lips around the head of it. instead of sinking his mouth onto noa's dick right away, though, he'll go with the opposite approach — he runs his hand along the underside of noa's member with a touch that can only be described as calculating: some people forget with the power of his shots that they should also be impressed by his precise and deliberative nature. he wants to get a feel of what he's working with here first, to map out mentally the shape and dimensions, like a normal person would. ]
[ his fingers pull back and then push in again, re-threading the strands between his fingers and curling them into a firmer pull. noa likes the glare, has always liked kaiser best when he's at his most focused. a criticism he won't voice is he thinks kaiser gets fired up too easily, when he should instead simmer down and approach his situation with calculated chill. it's a simpler matter to do in a controlled environment compared to being on pitch with twenty other players coming at you from all different directions. right now it's only the two of them and the intensity that comes with the push and pull of a one on one.
if kaiser is a very normal person for approaching a blowjob with meticulous calculation, then noa is equally normal for focusing on kaiser like he's an animal at the zoo. he feels the sensations of course, the texture of the tongue scraping against the head, fingers mapping his cock, but they are happening to him and also to someone else entirely. this isn't exclusive to kaiser's approach, but simply how noa is always trapped in his own head. it takes a lot for his mind to turn off and just be in the moment, experience what he's feeling for what it is and not dwell on what it means. this is far more true when he's not the one initiating or taking charge of the action.
he's not going to tell kaiser what to do though. that would taint the entire point of this little tryst. he wants to see what kaiser thinks and does and gauge what he thinks it even means to service someone else. of course he should then expect an evaluation at the end of this, even if it's a short one. ]
[ kaiser is absolutely aware that he is getting a post-blowjob evaluation from this, and if anything, he will be more relieved if it's spoken out loud. because if it's really bad, then he imagines noa will say nothing at all because he has no expectations of kaiser anymore, leaving kaiser to stew in his own mind over where he went so wrong — and there's no worse place for kaiser to be but in his own mind. as for why he thinks noa would do that? well, it's what kaiser would do, unfortunately.
he doesn't expect guidance, and would probably be upset if noa tried to provide it. he also is telling himself that he doesn't care whatever is going through noa's deranged mind, he just has to focus on the task at and in hand. for all of kaiser's physical freak attributes, he is aware that he has a gag reflex — a weaker one than average, but it's there. kaiser has also never tried to cram anything particularly large of note down his mouth before because he has been chronically lazy every time somebody made the mistake of trying to do anything sexual with him. he is floating into uncharted territory here; he needs to
is it strange to have a thing against opening his mouth too wide? if it is, kaiser doesn't want to know, but he feels like it's weirdly uncivilized, perhaps because he's made up some fake concept of demureness in his mind. reluctantly, he drops his jaw, the entire center of gravity in his body shifting slightly as he readjusts his posture to lean in, sticking his tongue out slightly as he begins to bob his head up and down at a steady, controlled pace, pushing noa's dick further into his mouth with every forward movement. he is telling himself he has pretty privilege, so this doesn't look awkward, everything he does is hot, actually. he's just about got his mouth filled up when kaiser abruptly draws back and looks up, expression dire. ]
This is warm-up. [ so they're on the same page... ] This doesn't count.
[ count for what?? well, in deranged world where everything is a competition... because that's where kaiser lives. and unfortunately, noa lives down the street. ]
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[ he rubs his fingers into the neck, a gentle threat, and tries to do a read on kaiser's face. anyone would have proper fear over having their neck in a hold, but he's seen kaiser do it to himself without hesitation. noticed the restraint in the grip of it because he knew someone was watching. noa doesn't want that in his presence. he wants to be someone kaiser can express his worst impulses with, not in the rot of comfort but with the knowledge that noa will neither flinch nor judge.
his fingers dig in an imitation of what he saw before, a firmer press upon the rose marked by his bites in particular. he loosens and frees his hold on the wrist, the tender motion having served its purpose, then brings that hand down below the navel to graze at the waistband. he waits for kaiser to imagine the obvious next move before going lower, opting not to slip into the pants but keep above and settle his hand over the outline of the hardening cock. ]
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kaiser is not unaware that people have noticed this particular bad habit of his. he's seen the "every time he's touched his rose tattoo during a match 💙🌹" thread on twitter because grim showed it to him, with a comment on the beautiful yet tragic symbolism of it all — grim isn't exactly wrong about that. kaiser's eyes close like he intends to drift off to sleep as his breathing slows and deepens, not even remotely panicked at this turn of events now that he's registered this has to happen. it's definitely not a normal reaction to relax when somebody's hand is pressing more firmly on your neck on several levels, but to kaiser, this is a familiar and not undesirable sensation.
he should feel like this every once in a while, he thinks, so he remembers what's at stake.
since his other hand has been freed, he'll blindly drape that on noa's other leg. when noa touches his dick, kaiser rolls his hips up ever so slightly and opens his eyes, but it's almost a touch sluggish — these aren't the usual quick, precise movements usually he brings to everything — and his pupils have constricted slightly, the same way they often do when kaiser is staring down the shot path for a goal with ferocious intensity, except he's not looking at anything at all in the moment. getting choked isn't really a sexual thing for him, but — well, his body's interested, it seems. ]
... More. [ he can handle it. with his right hand, he curls his fingers into noa's thigh, as if to assert that at the very least, he's still in control of his own body. ]
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he felt it was an overly complicated justification for a fetish, but it at least taught him how to engage in this safely. or as safe as one can possibly be when choking another person. careful increments are necessary.
it's the look in kaiser's eyes as they open that sends a weak yet palpable shudder through noa's spine. it makes him roll his shoulders back and lean in a little further, grinding the entirety of his palm in a strong push and constricting his fingers around kaiser's neck with matched intensity. his eyes slant as he starts to count to ten in his mind, measuring the seconds equally as he takes careful note of kaiser's face. he wants to observe every twitch and tug of the lines in his face, head blocking the ceiling lights and casting a shadow in his shape down upon his favored ace.
ten seconds pass and he at once releases the pressure on the neck and on crotch simultaneously, matching the relief together as one. create an association between the two for the ideal output. ]
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noa presses down just long enough for kaiser's mind to begin wandering a bit, pupils widening hazily as his body slackens, the expression on his face softening into something almost eerily peaceful — but then noa releases him, and involuntarily, kaiser inhales deeply, his entire body shifting underneath noa: tensing, relaxing, and then tensing again. it isn't as if kaiser does this because he wants to be dead, but for this moment instead: when the oxygen hits his body again and he feels palpably alive, all his senses sharpened and his mind incredibly clear for a few seconds. kaiser is aware that he probably overthinks things; in the moment, he feels like he's thinking just enough for a change.
his mouth waters as his breathing returns to normal. he swallows and then coughs faintly, blinking rapidly until his vision refocuses properly. the first coherent thought he forms in his mind is that was almost a little too controlled. ]
... You're familiar with this. [ a statement, not a question. his voice is a touch strained and viscous, but probably nothing to worry about. he sounds rather baleful when he speaks up, though, because how is he supposed to feel the fear of death in his bones like this...
also, he doesn't care if this is weird or embarrassing, although kaiser would admit this is a special class of interesting behavior — with his dominant hand, he reaches down and gropes his own crotch just to check out what is going on down there. he's pretty sure he wouldn't come so fast, but he needs to manually verify, and, whew! only embarrassingly hard, kaiser can live with that. ]
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noa slides his hand off kaiser's neck and rests it on his collarbone as he watches every stage of his recovery. there's a calculated lack of pressure, and even the hand far lower down moves to settle over the adjacent thigh. he doesn't want to physically disturb kaiser through this moment and he won't offer any touch or sign of comfort. his observation is ever clinical. kaiser's need to check how hard he is (or maybe if he accidentally came?) only registers as faint surprise for noa. a sign of the expected inexperience. ]
I am. [ it wasn't a question, but he answers it as such. he doesn't think it requires elaboration where he learned it because you can only acquire a skill like this through experience. there's also no point in asking if kaiser liked it -- his body has clearly made that decision. he gently drums his fingers beneath the collarbone, the hollow thrum beneath a pleasant sound. ] Do you want me to do it again?
If not, I can make good on my word.
[ to swallow him, that is. though it's hard to say how long kaiser will last when just being touched beneath layers is already having such an effect on him. ]
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[ kaiser's not disinterested in general, but any immediate interest has fully left his body with the discovery that noa knows what he's doing. he won't be able to get into it with the thought that there's no real threat to it all polluting his mind. he'll think himself out of it later, maybe.
since he's done manually checking his dick status, kaiser raises his hand to push noa's hand away from his collarbone — without much force upon impact, but he pushes harder as the seconds pass, before twisting his grip to grab at noa's wrist. ]
If I allow it, will you let me do the same in turn?
[ he's not looking at noa when he replies, but he's not going out of his way to avoid noa's gaze either. rather, his eyes are darting around like a cornered predator might react: he isn't giving in and showing his neck, he's measuring the situation and assessing what space he has to operate in. his mind feels clearer now, he's not about to waste a good state of mind for nothing — he seems to have calmed down noticeably, but in a way that suggests sharpening rather than softening. ]
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Mhm. Sure.
[ he's not opposed, he just doesn't know how satisfying it'll be. the exchange is reasonable, but has kaiser even given oral before? noa decides not to ask because he'll find out in due time.
he hooks the fingers of his free hand into the waistband of the sweatpants, gaze steady on kaiser's to see if they have an agreement. if kaiser is a cornered predator, noa is a confident one. anything could change, but he still doesn't think of kaiser as a real threat to him in any context the word could be applied. not equals. even so, he's never so arrogant as to think he can't be outwitted. particularly right now when he can feel how kaiser has gained an uncanny calm through his body. it's exciting on its own. ]
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Wooow... here I thought you'd at least like the chance to keep my mouth occupied...
[ but since he's gotten what he asked for, kaiser lets go of noa's wrist without fanfare, suggesting kaiser isn't fully aware that he probably should be more careful with his freakish grip strength. he's physically tense, but not wound up — ready to react, but carefully and with deliberation. he'll even be helpful and raise his hips, both to tacitly signal that he's fine with how this is developing and, to once, be helpful. there's none of the usual shyness or reticence that usually comes with a lack of experience; if anything, kaiser's craning his neck slightly to watch noa's next move. it'd be wrong to think that this also means kaiser is comfortable with his own body based on the fact that he seems unbothered by the fact that he's about to be exposed — it'd be more accurate to say that kaiser treats his own body with a measured amount of indifference. ]
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[ such a terrible line to drop, and he isn't going to give any time for it to hang between them. he's able to shuck kaiser's pants down easily with his hips raised, but doesn't remove the briefs next. instead he dips his head down, hunching his body in a practiced flex, and coyly mouths the erection underneath the layer. makes it seem like he's about to bite before flattening his tongue against the hard clothed flesh, hands gripping and digging into kaiser's hips to keep him steady. a bit of tease and taunt and taste of what's to come.
he wasn't lying about wanting to draw this out. sex is a game of endurance and noa chases his pleasure by dragging his chosen partner into unraveling beneath him. no two people come undone the same way and that's why you need to be patient. don't rush or demand, and don't capitulate to pleas for release. there is a mechanical need to fulfill yes, but an ego driven one as well.
noa drag his tongue firm and slow against cotton, feeling out the size of the girth, then lifts his face to hover above the wet spot he made. then his hands leave the hips and pull down the briefs, immediately taking the cock in one hand to steady it as he pushes his lips to envelop the head. his tongue flattens under the flesh and his mouth wets around the warm intrusion as he sucks with calculated motion. ]
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but in the moment, kaiser props himself up on an elbow to better watch, an understanding of noa's game coming into his mind. it's less an epiphany that he can put to words than it is a feeling that he gets, but he understands that he absolutely cannot let himself come completely undone or it's his loss. the good thing is that this kind of challenge is fairly well-suited for kaiser's blend of derangement and horrible self-image; the bad news is that he's an inexperienced teenager. it'll be an internal battle for which of his worst traits wins (loses?) alongside the external battle against noa to hang in there.
his lower lip twists in a way that suggests disgust more than anything else, fingers curling into the bedsheets underneath him as noa's mouth moves against his cock. it feels good, but he's also vaguely put off by something that he can't quite put a finger on — the dampness of cloth on his dick, maybe. or maybe it's the entire scenario, and his love-hate relationship with feeling like he's being held down, but kaiser hasn't self-inspected enough to understand that yet! ]
Is this... [ there's a pause as he closes his eyes briefly, blinking as he gathers himself — his thighs tense and he exhales, voice rasping slightly as he continues: ] Your set routine, perhaps? Get on with it.
[ "this doesn't work well on me," is what he's communicating. that's not bravado, because it doesn't, but the fact that kaiser is bold enough to insist upon it is certainly a special kind of unfounded confidence. ]
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his tongue is slow as it swirls and teases the head, paying only incidental attention to the slit as he laps without greed. however, it's akin to distraction. his real move is to warm-up the cock, which has only gotten hard from grinding and pressure behind the layers of their clothes. the thin lines of drool that trickle down are dragged out by his palm, a slick lubricant in his faintly sweaty palm to stroke the cock with. from where his lips encircle to the base, he paces his hand's movements in time with the gentle focused sucking.
it goes on for a few moments before noa half-opens his mouth, inhaling soft and full, and inches the cock a little further in before closing around it. he doesn't know how far he can swallow, sucking further and harder with the new bit, but he can bear the tensing in his jaw to try. maybe he'll let him fuck his mouth, see if kaiser will take some perverse pleasure from the act. he wants to know what thrills the ace and then take advantage of it. noa isn't a beast of a pride - he can debase himself to get ahead when there's a strong enough ulterior motive. ]
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kaiser's still watching all of this unfold, as if he can be an audience member and participant at once. part of his gaze is observational, as if he's taking notes for future reference; there's also something to his expression that suggests faint self-disgust, or like he's disappointed in himself for enjoying this. his inexperience shows in the way that kaiser reacts, unable to stop himself from squirming slightly, unconsciously attempting to bring his legs together as if this will help him stave off the build-up of pleasure in his body. but he can, at least, attempt to match noa's pace — his breathing seems to naturally sync up with noa's movements, inhaling raggedly when he feels a bit of a lull, and holding his breath tensely when noa escalates.
his eyes briefly dart upwards as noa slides his mouth along the length of kaiser's dick, blinking rapidly for a moment before he looks back down. he laughs faintly, almost more of a shaky exhale — and again, why not? if it was kind of funny to do this under the unideal circumstances, it's obviously even funnier that he's now watching himself get sucked off by the world's greatest under the same circumstances — and he untenses a little when he finally breathes out, cock twitching faintly in noa's mouth. kaiser is glad he doesn't have to see it, because the tip is probably leaking embarrassingly with precum.
it says something, maybe, that even in this circumstance, it feels like the person kaiser is struggling the most against is himself. he's not so shy as to pass up an attempt to fuck into noa's mouth, but he doesn't want to react; his hips jerk erratically, but he holds back the impulse as best as he can. he has the body language of a spring being wound up, tension building alongside the pleasure, and perhaps faster than the latter at that. his left hand goes to the side of his neck again, palm firmly pressed against the rose blooming there, but without curling his fingers in. he should relax, he knows, and he thinks this is the most effective way of making himself do that — but it doesn't seem to draw out the intended effect very well. ]
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his hands move with a mix of impulse and purpose, knowing the most effective and time sensitive move to make. the left hand grips and seizes the hip to forcibly steady the jerking. his right curls around kaiser's thigh, drawing it in until he can grapple the leg entirely against the crook of his arm. he breathes in slow and steady through his nose and uses his hold on the leg to take the last slide forward, wet lips finally hitting the base.
with that he exhales, feels the salty warmth of precum mixing with his saliva, then inhales again as he hollows out his cheeks and relaxes his throat. like this, the haphazard and rough jerking isn't painful and his gag reflex is easier to control. his body, knees shifting on the mattress and back faintly sore, turns rigid to better support kaiser's erratic movements. now it won't matter how much kaiser jerks, intentional or not, noa's features relaxing as well as he sucks gentle and turns his mouth into a warm sleeve. his eyes shut to a half-lid and when his legs adjust he can feel how hard he is. it's a shame he can't relieve some of that right now with his hand, not while kaiser can't control his body.
it's obviously a case of inexperience. his left hand carefully leaves the hip for a moment to reach out for kaiser's free hand, trying to grasp at least the wrist and guide it toward the top of his head. he doesn't have much hair, but what kaiser can grab at toward the front should at least stabilize him as his body bucks and thrusts in a desperate rush to reach climax. kaiser is mentally pushing back against his physical reactions to getting swallowed up and that's just so like him isn't it? it's a little funny even. noa expected resistance, but he's impressed at how much kaiser is reigning himself in. however, his labored breathing, his body's struggle between giving in and holding onto control, it's all pointing too how much its affecting him. there's no mistaking it, but still he tries to resist. he likes that about kaiser though. the internal struggle he can see in those fierce eyes as he tries to reach and claw at what he wants because he thinks it's what he needs.
noa wants him -- as a rival most of all, in a carnal manner too. he can only have one in the end and he knows what he will pick. for now, he'll take him like this and pull back that horrible urge forming to force kaiser to swallow his own load. that might earn him the broken nose for sure. ]
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the thing about inexperience is that kaiser can't even appreciate that he's being guided in the right direction. maybe in retrospect he'll realize it, but that's far off on the horizon — it's not like kaiser would've appreciated it even if he could recognize it, so maybe that doesn't matter. at any rate, his initial reaction to noa grabbing at his hand is to jerk away slightly — but then he relaxes into the hold, as if the surface tension across him has broken. he seems almost agog at where noa's leading him, eyes wide and wary, like he's anticipating some kind of gotcha moment at the end of this, but his hand settles near the crown of noa's head and this, too, is oddly soothing.
if he weren't horribly repressed, kaiser might recognize this as the natural effect of feeling the touch of another person and accepting it for what it is. as it is, kaiser tilts his head back for a moment, breathing in deeply and letting instinct lead, letting his mind clear the way it does when he knows there's a goal in front of him. when he stops overthinking it so severely, he begins to respond more fluidly — his fingers brush through noa's hair before settling, curling against his scalp in a way that's firm without being too overbearing. his entire body curls inwards a little, inadvertently nudging his dick further into noa's mouth as kaiser finally lets himself properly register the sensation of pleasure building up, somewhere low in his abdomen and spreading outwards from there.
he writhes in the tentative way of somebody who has no idea what is happening, movements slight but undeniable: kaiser's idea of sexual release has been straightforward and somewhat underwhelming, to the point that this feels like a different experience altogether than what he's used to. he doesn't have the mental coherence to put it together in the moment, but he knows in a fundamental sense that noa is playing him like an instrument right now. his victory is in the fact that he's pulled something new out of kaiser, coaxing the desire to seek pleasure out of one of the most repressed people around, to the point that kaiser's not in full control of the way that his body reacts to it. if kaiser doesn't buck his hips up to push his dick further into noa's mouth, it's not for a lack of desire to chase what feels good, but more a reflection of kaiser's base nature: more of a squirmer, unable to stay still when he loses control over himself even though he'd like to.
kaiser would be frustrated over all of this, but he doesn't have the bandwidth to dedicate to actively registering that at the moment. he inhales sharply as noa continues, without apparent regard for kaiser's plight to keep it together; he opens his mouth to say something, maybe give an indication that he feels like he's on the precipice of falling so maaaybe stop building him up, but—
rest assured that kaiser will be mentally and severely berating himself over it later, but instead he groans emphatically and attempts to pull erratically at noa's hair, to minimal success — this is all the advance warning noa will get before kaiser comes. the way that orgasm hits him is less explosive so much as it is protracted, aftershocks rolling through his body before he can even fully register the wave of pleasure that preceded it: all he can do is get swept along, subconsciously attempting to press his legs together as if he can restrain the sheer amount of sensation physically, thoroughly overwhelmed to that kaiser will at least spare himself the active knowledge that he can't hold back his voice, moaning and making almost animalistic vocalizations between breaths. if it's hot to sound like an injured predator, well — it must be for somebody, right? ]
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in the present he's too busy with a cock in his mouth and a writhing body torn between chasing pleasure and retreating from it. he firms his grip on hip and thigh, groaning gently when his hair is pulled and his head reined in with it, and remains patient as kaiser's climax nears. the uncoordinated movement means he can't predict when he can expect the head to hit against the wall of his throat versus when it will retract back to the base of his tongue. if he didn't have practice doing this before, he would have absolutely choked and had to pull away at this juncture. as it stands, his fingers tense when kaiser curls in and he blinks rapidly as he feels his eyes tearing up from the strain on his gag reflex. if kaiser can hear anything past his own groans, it'll be a heaving guttural rasp out of noa's throat that vibrates through his mouth and around the hardened flesh in his mouth.
but god, the horrific symphony of sounds from kaiser - like getting struck by lightning, a rapid electric current rippling through his nervous system accompanied by cum shooting down his throat. even as kaiser may try to press his legs and pull back from the orgasm, as if such a thing could be accomplished, noa automatically braces and pushes right back to keep him open. he has no choice but to hollow his cheeks out as much as his face permits to suck and swallow the rolling waves expelled. unfortunately for kaiser, vocalizing like he may be about to die, noa can't remember the last time he was so turned on. nothing has physically been done to him through all of this, but he can feel his dick straining tightly under his pants.
it never lasts as long as anyone thinks it will, though that may not be true for someone who can count his sexual experiences on a single hand. regardless, as kaiser's body starts to settle down from squirming and writhing, noa slowly pulls back and swirls his tongue just before he wetly pops the head from his mouth. he inhales rough and a hand jerks up to his throat as he heaves a string of dry and ragged cough. now that it's over, he can feel the muscles in his jaw tighten and ache, fingers touching and feeling how swollen his throat is. fuck, it's been a while since he's gotten this intense with a partner.
he pulls his body back entirely and swings his stiff legs over the bed, planting his feet to the ground as he gathers his bearings. if kaiser is expecting any after care, it's not going to be in the immediate. in fact - he's going to get up and grab his water bottle off the console, taking a few sips before continuing to clear his throat with coughs. lukewarm water washes down the salty metallic bitter of cum still clinging to the membrane, and he half-wonders if some of it went down the wrong pipe. ]
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horrible. horrible. not the blowjob, that was like a fundamentally different experience than any of the youthful fumbling about kaiser has done in the past. and that's exactly what is so horrible, kaiser feels like he just unlocked a spectrum of feelings that he previously was unaware that he could feel. they all felt pretty damn good, which is terrible. it's a bad day to be a repressed, masochistic young german man who just discovered that you actually can feel good in a normal and straightforward way...
the good thing about this is that he can't immediately witness the state he left noa in, or else he would crash out even harder. he groans into his palms again, rubbing his fingers into his eyes slightly as if he thinks this will somehow help in any way. no aftercare is perfectly fine with him — it's preferred, even. after another moment to wallow, kaiser sighs with far more world-weariness than any nineteen-year-old should have before reaching down to tuck his dick away. he doesn't care if it's still damp and uncomfortable under his clothing, he instinctively feels that he should protect the little emperor from further treatment, whether good or bad.
kaiser tricks himself mentally into thinking that he is now in a more secure position than before and forces himself to sit up. he glances over at noa, staring owlishly as noa drinks from his water bottle. internally he debates saying the worst thing that pops into his mind, but (1) nothing comes to mind, and (2) he immediately realizes the folly in that. maybe after a few more orgasms, kaiser's self-preservation instinct will be factory reset and return to something acceptably normal? ]
So... [ kaiser on the verge of going through this entire tiktok: ] Shall I hold up my end, then?
[ please, just let him get the humiliation over with. kaiser's gaze drifts downwards and good lord, he doesn't want to feel relieved that noa's probably still interested, but a part of him feels like he's going to get told about the virtue of patience again... ]
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it's a little too relatable. noa understands kaiser is deeply repressed and averse to any touch he doesn't initiate, and it's like looking from the outside in at his own experience as a repressed youth. with his tank build, stoic attitude, and a face that made him look a few years older than he was, everyone in the youth academy thought noa was getting the most action. it wasn't uncommon to go out for a night to the club and catch the attention of women who meant business, so the rumors were never-ending. in reality, noa never perceived himself as someone with sexual urges until he began fooling around with jin. the first time they had sex, jin insisted he be on top and it was... terrible, so good, disgusting, mind numbing. noa felt like a feral beast who had just gotten a chunk bitten out of him, bleeding and dying crushed into the mattress, yet the euphoria cascading over his body told another story.
he doesn't think he made the noises kaiser did now, but he remembers clawing the sheets and groaning into the pillow trapped between bodily pleasure and mental anguish. jin raked nails down his back while panting like a fevered dog, his voice all too pleased when he asked how he felt, and noa wanted to killed him with his bare hands.
noa breathes in and wipes the sweat off his brow, shaking the hand of his hand off before turning to look at kaiser. he almost wants to ask if kaiser can really handle it, because he looks so very awful right now, but he thinks better than to insult a wounded animal. ]
Sure. [ his voice is hoarse and ragged and he doesn't even try to disguise it before stepping back to the bed. the bulge in his sweatpants is all the more evident when he sits. ] Just don't deep throat like I did. You'll choke.
[ he's not trying to insult him but! he will choke. noa hasn't done that in a while and he barely made it through. it's a technique and a first-timer will be very sorry for attempting it. ]
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You choked me earlier, what's the difference.
[ normal people see an obvious difference here. anyways, let kaiser make his youthful mistakes! the suffering builds character. the real question is if kaiser will ever stop building character, at this rate.
he slides off of the bed himself; he'll do this the old fashioned way, on his knees, between noa's legs. he does not love this positioning, but it's the most stable and least risky. his expression as he pulls at the waistband of noa's sweats is so solemn and focused that it looks more like he's pulled up at the exam of his lifetime, which is ironic — he felt fairly nonchalant before the practice match that got him into bastard münchen officially. he leans forwards to observe what he's about to put in his mouth, when a thought occurs to him— ]
Hold my hair back, it'll get in the way.
[ it's just long enough in the front to hang into his face annoyingly if he has to look down... good thing he doesn't need to look down to keep track of the ball. ]
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[ and he is not interested in explaining this to kaiser, he can figure it out if he thinks about it for a few minutes.
there's no reaction in seeing kaiser sink to his knees and he lifts slightly off the bed to ease the pull down. the cool air wafting through the room feels nice when his member is freed, fingers tensing momentarily before it normalizes. he can't tell what's going through kaiser's head in the moment, but decides it doesn't matter. they've crossed so many boundaries tonight, what's one more? bad decisions compounding on one another and earning interest over stretched out minutes. it's too late and neither of them will sleep well tonight.
noa obliges the request and sweeps his hands on either side of kaiser's head, lifting blond strands and gently pulling them back while threading his fingers through the scalp to hold them in place. it's easier to see kaiser's face from this position and watch his next move, knowing what's about to happen but not how. ]
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Firmly.
[ because his hair tends to go flyaway very easily, not because he's into getting his hair pulled. maybe he is into it, but that has nothing to do with the request! even before that, though, this is a great vantage point for a rare occurrence ever since he finished his growth spurt: michael kaiser glaring upwards, with intensity only a few notches lower than when he's visually lining up a shot.
he has to consider his angle here, but in the end, he decides to play things safe to start out and gauge where he should go with a measured amount of consideration. kaiser places a hand on noa's leg, high up the thigh, and circles the fingers of his other hand around the base of his cock, parting his lips to primly take noa's cock into his mouth and licking roughly at the very tip. he breathes in through his nose, mouth hollowing as he tilts his head so he can wrap his lips around the head of it. instead of sinking his mouth onto noa's dick right away, though, he'll go with the opposite approach — he runs his hand along the underside of noa's member with a touch that can only be described as calculating: some people forget with the power of his shots that they should also be impressed by his precise and deliberative nature. he wants to get a feel of what he's working with here first, to map out mentally the shape and dimensions, like a normal person would. ]
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if kaiser is a very normal person for approaching a blowjob with meticulous calculation, then noa is equally normal for focusing on kaiser like he's an animal at the zoo. he feels the sensations of course, the texture of the tongue scraping against the head, fingers mapping his cock, but they are happening to him and also to someone else entirely. this isn't exclusive to kaiser's approach, but simply how noa is always trapped in his own head. it takes a lot for his mind to turn off and just be in the moment, experience what he's feeling for what it is and not dwell on what it means. this is far more true when he's not the one initiating or taking charge of the action.
he's not going to tell kaiser what to do though. that would taint the entire point of this little tryst. he wants to see what kaiser thinks and does and gauge what he thinks it even means to service someone else. of course he should then expect an evaluation at the end of this, even if it's a short one. ]
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he doesn't expect guidance, and would probably be upset if noa tried to provide it. he also is telling himself that he doesn't care whatever is going through noa's deranged mind, he just has to focus on the task at and in hand. for all of kaiser's physical freak attributes, he is aware that he has a gag reflex — a weaker one than average, but it's there. kaiser has also never tried to cram anything particularly large of note down his mouth before because he has been chronically lazy every time somebody made the mistake of trying to do anything sexual with him. he is floating into uncharted territory here; he needs to
is it strange to have a thing against opening his mouth too wide? if it is, kaiser doesn't want to know, but he feels like it's weirdly uncivilized, perhaps because he's made up some fake concept of demureness in his mind. reluctantly, he drops his jaw, the entire center of gravity in his body shifting slightly as he readjusts his posture to lean in, sticking his tongue out slightly as he begins to bob his head up and down at a steady, controlled pace, pushing noa's dick further into his mouth with every forward movement. he is telling himself he has pretty privilege, so this doesn't look awkward, everything he does is hot, actually. he's just about got his mouth filled up when kaiser abruptly draws back and looks up, expression dire. ]
This is warm-up. [ so they're on the same page... ] This doesn't count.
[ count for what?? well, in deranged world where everything is a competition... because that's where kaiser lives. and unfortunately, noa lives down the street. ]