[ sae is not a poor little bunny. he's like... bunnicula maybe. but sure, yes. kaiser absolutely would, but he will lick his wounds for sae, so...? ]
I can go either way. [ he replies without glancing up at sae, like... no offense, he's seen it all already and he needs to now readjust the water temperature for sae's preferences. ] Scalding hot it is, then.
[ kaiser doesn't complain about any opportunity to take a bath in general. so. yeah! ]
You can go ahead and get in first, if you want. [ maybe peruse kaiser's collection of toiletries that he has lined up at the edge of the bathtub while it fills up? kaiser seems pretty diligent about his personal upkeep, all of them are clearly in use. ]
( he's one of these flesh-eating rabbits from re:zero. or maybe the ones with knives who kill you in dunmeshi... anyway, he's still a poor little bunny. just one who can and will murder you in cold blood!!!! )
Mmhm. ( he's tempted to pick up the clothes scattered across the floor, but he's also not a MAID so he. shan't.
he'll finish stripping and avoid them as he crosses the distance to the bathtub, though, stepping between them and joining kaiser by the edge of it. he glances around the bathroom, only mildly interested in what's on the shelves; he knows kaiser's not the kind of a guy who uses 20 in 1 shit, so he's fine. now when he goes home, in the other hand —
well. since kaiser said it's fine to get in, he'll just get in and sit on the opposite end from where the other is, to make adequate space for him when he joins him, too. )
[ hold down your older brother urges, sae. just because kaiser may now be younger doesn't mean he's allowed to act like that— ]
Hot enough for you, Sae? [ that's literally as hot as it'll go, so it better be, kaiser has no more control over the matter. ] First three bottles from the left, can you put a few drops of each in?
[ kaiser isn't thaaat finnicky, he would like to assure. he just wants the bath to smell nice and be therapeutic or whatever since he has to show off to sae like a peacock fanning his feathers. kaiser himself is leaving it to sae, because he's peeling his underwear off and... letting that drop near the hamper, at least, before lazily pulling his hair up.
and now, finally, he can join sae in the bathtub... he sits on the opposite end, facing sae — kinda fruity ngl! — knees drawn up slightly to give sae room. ]
Wanna rehearse?
[ for the last bath... yeah he thinks he's so funny. ]
Yeah. ( it's just right for his cold ass. he turns his head towards the bottles, when kaiser points them out, and lazily reaches to grab the first one, putting a few drops of it into the water and then switching to the second. when he's done, he actually bothers to look at the labels... might've dropped some acid in and he wouldn't have known!!!
he stirs the water with his index finger as kaiser finishes stripping and gets inside, quirking his eyebrow slightly. )
Rehearse what? ( their suicide? how do you even rehearse that??? he's stupid you have to explain you want him to gayly lean against your chest. )
[ okay, kaiser being younger than isagi and same age friends with rin would be so fucking funny that i genuinely think i would cry from laughter. something about being 16 makes people want to hate isagi specifically! ]
For when we die in a bathtub later, duh. Here, turn around. [ and then, in a tone that's... just a touch gentler. ] There'll be more space to stretch your legs out if we're both facing the same direction, too.
[ ew, he is nawt saying in so many words that's what he wants from sae. but hopefully this gets the message across... ]
( personally i doubt it because he's got a tattoo BUT EVEN IF HE'S ALSO 18... that'd be funny because he'd still be younger than sae. christmas baby.
anyway! )
... ( he just gives kaiser a long stare, at that. well, fine, whatever — with a roll of his eyes, he moves to turn around and push himself back in the bathtub, settling between kaiser's legs and pressing his back against his chest.
he tips his head back, then, to rest it against kaiser's clavicle, mouth curved into a small pout. this is kinda............ g.......................ay )
[ it's really gay, actually. kaiser reaches over to touch sae's right hand for a moment, before turning it over and running his fingertips over sae's wrist... the veins must be pretty visible, given sae's lifestyle. ]
Never picked up a cutting habit? Or just very good at hiding it?
( CRAAAAZY thing to ask. honestly, sae's probably considered it, and he would be good at hiding it, too, considering how much care he puts into covering his arms, but —
in the end, he went for a different kind of self-destruction. maybe he did try at some point, but kaiser's not going to find any remnants of this on his wrists. )
Mm. ( his skin's pale, veins stark and blue, well-articulated and visible. he glances down at his arm and tips his head to the side, moving his free hand to pat the inside of his thigh instead. ) Here, just once. Wasn't for me. Too much upkeep.
Yeah, true. [ open wounds for stress relief also doesn't really do it for kaiser, so he gets it. ] There's easier ways, I guess.
[ he lifts sae's wrist up, leans in and presses his lips there — then nips very lightly before letting sae go. at close quarters, the skin there is almost translucent, which is vaguely concerning? but it's also kind of pretty in its own fucked-up way, kaiser thinks. ]
It's just that you seem to go out of your way to keep your arms covered up...
[ which kaiser noticed because... of course he did! but he supposes there are tons of other reasons that one might prefer to avoid exposing skin. not that kaiser would know anything about that, ahem. ]
( he watches, gaze a little distracted, as kaiser nips at his wrist. his arms are pretty thin — necks of deer, really, with an almost sickly look to them, due to how pale his skin is and how visible his veins are. a living-dead boy, by all accounts — his cold heart jumps, when the other's lips press to skin, and he turns his head away, a little flustered.
leave it to kaiser to notice something people rarely ever question him about. his usual excuse of wrapping his limbs carefully doesn't quite pass when it's someone who also plays and knows that your wrists don't actually need that amount of elastic bandage or anything. )
I bruise easily. ( he shrugs, glancing down at his hands. he's been... well, he's been good lately, and not really fucking around, especially since he's staying at kaiser's and training takes up a lot of his time, but —
normally, there's marks around his wrists? hands. rope. you know!
he'll leave it to kaiser to figure out by himself. )
[ yeah, kaiser can read between the lines here... ]
Hah. Maybe you should make me your emergency contact, Sae, I'll make sure that it isn't too obvious what you or your body is subject to, in case it comes down to that.
[ you know, so sae's mom doesn't have to know what her son is into if he gets metaphorically caught with his pants down. kaiser's really the only one up for the task, in his opinion, because who else knows about sae's fucked-up tastes who sae regularly talks to and can be trusted with clean-up like this!!
kaiser's laughing a little, though, so he's not fully serious about that. surely the bathtub promise supercedes all else, so he thinks? trusts??? that sae has no plans to do anything too out there (he doesn't know sae will soon be risking their deaths in a vehicular accident). ]
( as much as he hates to admit it, this is actually pretty relaxing. the bath is nice and hot, kaiser's warm behind him, and he has no problem leaning back against the other and letting the tension in his muscles dissipate, pale skin flushed from the temperature. )
Giraud would cry. ( well, no, he wouldn't, but he'd whine for three years about how irresponsible of a choice that is. ) You can be my emergency contact when you get a ring on my finger.
( hmpf.
anyway, he's being pretty responsible lately, so kaiser should be proud of him? his body's mostly bruise-free, now, sans for the ones he'd acquired with kaiser, which is... telling enough? maybe? now that he thinks about it, it does make him feel kind of bad, though. like, "ew, am i settling down?" bad. he needs to go fuck something up soon or the itching won't stop. )
Are you trying to motivate me even more? I'm beginning to think that this is your way of slowly giving in.
[ you're going to blossom and fall for him babygirl. or however that line goes, i'm not looking it up at the moment. ]
Don't worry, I'm not the kind of guy who stops being interested once the girl starts falling for him.
[ yeah. anyway.
let him prop his head on top of sae's and wrap an arm loosely around sae's waist, then. now is not the time to start messing sae up, but he will note in the back of his mind that sae will probably want to start doing some absolute freak shit right after the second leg is over with; regardless of who wins, three-ish weeks is enough time to recover from a lot of things, sooo... (kaiser pre-homicidal era) ]
( no comment on giving in!!! anyway, yes, he can blossom and fall for kaiser and kaiser can fall under his spell or whatever. dramatic ass bitches. )
Hmm. You do seem like the type, considering you went for me. Realistically, I'll never show you the same amount of interest you're showing me, and yet that doesn't seem to deter you. ( time to psychoanalyze him a bit... ) Does that give you an illusion of safety, maybe?
( very interesting.
anyway, sae will allow it, just because all of this feels really nice. that kaiser likes to prop his head on top of sae's is annoying, but... ugh... he's warm and relaxed, so whatever!! also, maybe. depends on the level of kaiser's suicidal urges? if he's too depressed to fuck then what's sae to do — )
[ haha babygirl please don't psychoanalyze him in the bathtub... ]
Illusion of safety? [ he repeats the phrase, vaguely incredulous. ] ... I have to admit, I don't see your angle. I'd think somebody who wants a safe bet would go for somebody who'd definitely reciprocate. Elaborate?
[ the worst part is that he really genuinely doesn't, he is audibly confused. ignorance is bliss, so kaiser enjoys not knowing himself! kaiser knows... the version of himself he tries to brainwash himself into... is that not good enough for self-awareness?! ]
Not really. There's no safety in knowing someone might fall out of love with you. But if that's never there, or doesn't feel as if it is — then you're free to do as you please. You can leave without any repercussions. ( or is that just him? because, you know, he loves to leave...
... now that he thinks about it, it's probably a really weird angle, isn't it? he can't even relate, because he'd never pine?????? or at least not openly?! he's used to being chased, and it's what he prefers.
but, similarly, that also gives him an unique sense of safety. no personal contribution, nothing at stake, no opportunity to get hurt. it's not healthy, just like what he described isn't, either, but it's probably as close as they get to being able to understand each other. )
You're used to being unloved. ( he summarizes, staring straight ahead. )
... Hah. No, you're wrong. [ about part of that, not all of it. ] I'd never leave.
[ because kaiser's pretty sure that while he got his mother's looks, he also got his father's single-minded temperament. has he not said it over and over again? with the right person, he could be happy with simple things for the rest of his life... ok, it was that with the right wife, missionary forever could be bliss, but same difference! ]
And you're used to being adored, Sae Itoshi.
[ he unprops his head, tilts in to kiss the side of sae's neck delicately... sure, sae itoshi knows him well — not perfectly, of course — but the mirror of that is that michael kaiser knows sae itoshi in turn. "adored" — it's not quite the same thing as "loved", in kaiser's opinion. items and symbols are things for being adored, and people are for being loved. ]
( kind of a loaded word, but ok! we'll put that to the test when sae becomes the cheating wife — )
Loyalty of a dog with the temperament of a cat. ( what a strange combo. well, it's not like sae hates it, or anything — while confusing, he also admits that the unpredictability of it keeps him curious. he always shows people the exact amount of interest he thinks will suffice to keep them coming back; just enough, never more, but — with kaiser, it's a bit hard to estimate.
or perhaps there's no need to estimate it? perhaps there's no need for calculations and cold judgment — but, again. sae's not good at anything else. )
Mm. Yeah. ( not loved, but adored — from afar, from outside of a glass cage he'd built for himself, something for show, never to be touched. people have always treated him like that, anyway — like a symbol rather than a person; a thing, cold and unfeeling. he became what they saw, in the end; the world has shaped him adequately, he'd say?
still, that's not how it feels, when he's with kaiser. huffing out a small, warm breath, as the other's lips press to the side of his neck, he tips his head to allow the other more space, heart skipping an embarrassing beat. ugh....... this is why he can't do affection and relationships and anything of the sort????? he freezes, like deer in headlights, when faced with something genuine, and then — he wants to leave. that's his first instinct??? fighting it so hard rn. )
[ he's not fucking scared to say it! in the omegaverse bonds are for life. duh! ]
... And, so? You've got the mindset of a predator and the instincts of a prey animal.
[ having obvious personality problems is basically a pre-requisite for being an NG11. but at least it does keep things interesting, true, and maybe kaiser enjoys the challenge a little bit. there's always a push and pull to try and keep sae feeling like he's in some kind of comfortable, ambiguous gray zone — and kaiser wouldn't say he's good at it, exactly, but he's gotten more experienced with it over time.
at the heart of it, if kaiser inspected that sentiment a little further, maybe he'd be forced to realize that what he really wants is for sae to feel comfortable around him, but, well. ]
Is that why you like people who'll chase you down like they want to get a bite out of you?
[ he's smirking against sae's neck because he thinks he's right. and then, tilting in a little further, he presses his teeth to the skin there — not biting down, but. thinking about it, maybe. ]
( a noncommittal noise of acknowledgement — because yeah, he doesn't really believe it. people leave over the stupidest things, don't they? kaiser's too young to be so self-assured in this, anyway. and yeah, omegaverse bonds are forever, but SADLY this is not omegaverse!!!!!!! )
... ( he blinks, at that, almost surprised. that's... one way to put it, certainly? it's not wrong, though; his position often requires him to see things from both sides, doesn't it? still, his personal preferences are captured here, too — because it's true: he does feel the best with a set of sharp teeth against his throat, a warm breath at the back of his neck. must be the omega instincts...
he exhales, a little shaky when kaiser teases a bite, pulse spiking again. )
I like the desperation of it, I guess. The intensity. ( it makes sense, maybe? he's cold, so he likes being burned by it; scathed until he's forced to feel it. predators hunt prey down to survive: it's life or death, and that's how sae prefers it — all or nothing. )
[ true, kaiser knows people leave on the drop of a dime, especially (spitting sounds) men. that is precisely why he would never! ]
... You want to be warmed up from the inside out.
[ the hot bath might be a temporary solution to the issue, but that warmth will dissipate before long. kaiser lifts the hand resting on sae's waist up to his chest, over his heart — it's a little too easy to imagine sinking his hand into the cavity there, touching his heart, and finding it cold yet somehow still beating. ]
Tell me, Sae. Will you like me more if I show you how desperate I really am? [ so that sae can hide his own desperation in its shadows, perhaps — kaiser's tone is simultaneously easy yet tense all at once. he's kidding, unless sae is serious, in which case he's also serious. ]
Mm... ( he can feel his own heart stutter against kaiser's touch, pulse rabbit-quick. he wishes the other could just tear him open and sink his hands inside, honestly; squeeze around his heart until it felt warm again. it's not possible, but it's a nice thought? because it's very normal to fantasize about your sort-of-bf goring you in the bath.
if he's kidding, sae can't really tell. it's nice, when other people seem more desperate, when they've got more stakes in something — at least seemingly.
it makes him free from responsibility. )
Yeah. ( he turns his head, then, to nip at kaiser's ear, one arm brought up, palm resting against his cheek. ) I will.
[ it's very normal? kaiser is also fantasizing about goring his sort-of-bf in the bath... so... to be fair, he thinks sae almost invites it. too many bones are visible through skin, in kaiser's opinion, even the way that his backbone juts out a bit — it feels like it'd be too easy to squeeze a little too hard and break something. or like he could somehow sink his hand through sae's skin and touch what's inside, so pale that parts of his body seem like they're on the verge of transparency.
but kaiser knows from firsthand experience that sae's quite hardy, all things considered. ]
Oh... [ he laughs, but it's a sickly little sound— ] Then I'll show you. Not now, but... I will.
[ an exchanging of oaths, then.
he moves his hand from sae's chest to his face, sliding his palm over sae's eyes, pushing him down slightly to submerge sae deeper into the water... do you trust him, babygirl. ]
( if sae seems like he invites it... it's probably because he does!! that aside, he's not really sure what kaiser means by it, but wants to see it either way, because... yeah. it'll make him feel less terrible about clinging onto the other — or, what to him feels like clinging? which is just a normal, or even scarce, amount of attachment........... )
'kay. ( the warmth of the bath makes him a little lethargic, so that's all he says, eyelids falling shut when kaiser covers his eyes with his hand.
a bit confused, but mostly compliant, he does allow the other to push him a little deeper into the water, still mostly relaxed. )
... what are you doing? ( but about trust, well — )
Whaaaat... you don't think I'm about to drown you, do you?
[ well, at least kaiser knows how it comes across. he snickers lightly, quietly enough that sae can probably feel the way his chest moves more so than the sound it makes. ]
Just relax. Even if you fall asleep, you'll wake up later. Promise.
[ also, really... no reason, especially? kaiser's just the type to yank on his cr...ush's pigtails. he just had the impulse to pull sae downwards a little, to see if he'd react — and now that he's seen sae's response, he's oddly satisfied with how calmly it was taken. ]
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I can go either way. [ he replies without glancing up at sae, like... no offense, he's seen it all already and he needs to now readjust the water temperature for sae's preferences. ] Scalding hot it is, then.
[ kaiser doesn't complain about any opportunity to take a bath in general. so. yeah! ]
You can go ahead and get in first, if you want. [ maybe peruse kaiser's collection of toiletries that he has lined up at the edge of the bathtub while it fills up? kaiser seems pretty diligent about his personal upkeep, all of them are clearly in use. ]
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Mmhm. ( he's tempted to pick up the clothes scattered across the floor, but he's also not a MAID so he. shan't.
he'll finish stripping and avoid them as he crosses the distance to the bathtub, though, stepping between them and joining kaiser by the edge of it. he glances around the bathroom, only mildly interested in what's on the shelves; he knows kaiser's not the kind of a guy who uses 20 in 1 shit, so he's fine. now when he goes home, in the other hand —
well. since kaiser said it's fine to get in, he'll just get in and sit on the opposite end from where the other is, to make adequate space for him when he joins him, too. )
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Hot enough for you, Sae? [ that's literally as hot as it'll go, so it better be, kaiser has no more control over the matter. ] First three bottles from the left, can you put a few drops of each in?
[ kaiser isn't thaaat finnicky, he would like to assure. he just wants the bath to smell nice and be therapeutic or whatever since he has to show off to sae like a peacock fanning his feathers. kaiser himself is leaving it to sae, because he's peeling his underwear off and... letting that drop near the hamper, at least, before lazily pulling his hair up.
and now, finally, he can join sae in the bathtub... he sits on the opposite end, facing sae — kinda fruity ngl! — knees drawn up slightly to give sae room. ]
Wanna rehearse?
[ for the last bath... yeah he thinks he's so funny. ]
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Yeah. ( it's just right for his cold ass. he turns his head towards the bottles, when kaiser points them out, and lazily reaches to grab the first one, putting a few drops of it into the water and then switching to the second. when he's done, he actually bothers to look at the labels... might've dropped some acid in and he wouldn't have known!!!
he stirs the water with his index finger as kaiser finishes stripping and gets inside, quirking his eyebrow slightly. )
Rehearse what? ( their suicide? how do you even rehearse that??? he's stupid you have to explain you want him to gayly lean against your chest. )
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For when we die in a bathtub later, duh. Here, turn around. [ and then, in a tone that's... just a touch gentler. ] There'll be more space to stretch your legs out if we're both facing the same direction, too.
[ ew, he is nawt saying in so many words that's what he wants from sae. but hopefully this gets the message across... ]
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anyway! )
... ( he just gives kaiser a long stare, at that. well, fine, whatever — with a roll of his eyes, he moves to turn around and push himself back in the bathtub, settling between kaiser's legs and pressing his back against his chest.
he tips his head back, then, to rest it against kaiser's clavicle, mouth curved into a small pout. this is kinda............ g.......................ay )
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Never picked up a cutting habit? Or just very good at hiding it?
[ kaiser's flirting is crazy, i know........ ]
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in the end, he went for a different kind of self-destruction. maybe he did try at some point, but kaiser's not going to find any remnants of this on his wrists. )
Mm. ( his skin's pale, veins stark and blue, well-articulated and visible. he glances down at his arm and tips his head to the side, moving his free hand to pat the inside of his thigh instead. ) Here, just once. Wasn't for me. Too much upkeep.
( but it's well-hidden! )
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[ he lifts sae's wrist up, leans in and presses his lips there — then nips very lightly before letting sae go. at close quarters, the skin there is almost translucent, which is vaguely concerning? but it's also kind of pretty in its own fucked-up way, kaiser thinks. ]
It's just that you seem to go out of your way to keep your arms covered up...
[ which kaiser noticed because... of course he did! but he supposes there are tons of other reasons that one might prefer to avoid exposing skin. not that kaiser would know anything about that, ahem. ]
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( he watches, gaze a little distracted, as kaiser nips at his wrist. his arms are pretty thin — necks of deer, really, with an almost sickly look to them, due to how pale his skin is and how visible his veins are. a living-dead boy, by all accounts — his cold heart jumps, when the other's lips press to skin, and he turns his head away, a little flustered.
leave it to kaiser to notice something people rarely ever question him about. his usual excuse of wrapping his limbs carefully doesn't quite pass when it's someone who also plays and knows that your wrists don't actually need that amount of elastic bandage or anything. )
I bruise easily. ( he shrugs, glancing down at his hands. he's been... well, he's been good lately, and not really fucking around, especially since he's staying at kaiser's and training takes up a lot of his time, but —
normally, there's marks around his wrists? hands. rope. you know!
he'll leave it to kaiser to figure out by himself. )
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Hah. Maybe you should make me your emergency contact, Sae, I'll make sure that it isn't too obvious what you or your body is subject to, in case it comes down to that.
[ you know, so sae's mom doesn't have to know what her son is into if he gets metaphorically caught with his pants down. kaiser's really the only one up for the task, in his opinion, because who else knows about sae's fucked-up tastes who sae regularly talks to and can be trusted with clean-up like this!!
kaiser's laughing a little, though, so he's not fully serious about that. surely the bathtub promise supercedes all else, so he thinks? trusts??? that sae has no plans to do anything too out there (he doesn't know sae will soon be risking their deaths in a vehicular accident). ]
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Giraud would cry. ( well, no, he wouldn't, but he'd whine for three years about how irresponsible of a choice that is. ) You can be my emergency contact when you get a ring on my finger.
( hmpf.
anyway, he's being pretty responsible lately, so kaiser should be proud of him? his body's mostly bruise-free, now, sans for the ones he'd acquired with kaiser, which is... telling enough? maybe? now that he thinks about it, it does make him feel kind of bad, though. like, "ew, am i settling down?" bad. he needs to go fuck something up soon or the itching won't stop. )
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[ you're going to blossom and fall for him babygirl. or however that line goes, i'm not looking it up at the moment. ]
Don't worry, I'm not the kind of guy who stops being interested once the girl starts falling for him.
[ yeah. anyway.
let him prop his head on top of sae's and wrap an arm loosely around sae's waist, then. now is not the time to start messing sae up, but he will note in the back of his mind that sae will probably want to start doing some absolute freak shit right after the second leg is over with; regardless of who wins, three-ish weeks is enough time to recover from a lot of things, sooo... (kaiser pre-homicidal era) ]
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( no comment on giving in!!! anyway, yes, he can blossom and fall for kaiser and kaiser can fall under his spell or whatever. dramatic ass bitches. )
Hmm. You do seem like the type, considering you went for me. Realistically, I'll never show you the same amount of interest you're showing me, and yet that doesn't seem to deter you. ( time to psychoanalyze him a bit... ) Does that give you an illusion of safety, maybe?
( very interesting.
anyway, sae will allow it, just because all of this feels really nice. that kaiser likes to prop his head on top of sae's is annoying, but... ugh... he's warm and relaxed, so whatever!! also, maybe. depends on the level of kaiser's suicidal urges? if he's too depressed to fuck then what's sae to do — )
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Illusion of safety? [ he repeats the phrase, vaguely incredulous. ] ... I have to admit, I don't see your angle. I'd think somebody who wants a safe bet would go for somebody who'd definitely reciprocate. Elaborate?
[ the worst part is that he really genuinely doesn't, he is audibly confused. ignorance is bliss, so kaiser enjoys not knowing himself! kaiser knows... the version of himself he tries to brainwash himself into... is that not good enough for self-awareness?! ]
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... now that he thinks about it, it's probably a really weird angle, isn't it? he can't even relate, because he'd never pine?????? or at least not openly?! he's used to being chased, and it's what he prefers.
but, similarly, that also gives him an unique sense of safety. no personal contribution, nothing at stake, no opportunity to get hurt. it's not healthy, just like what he described isn't, either, but it's probably as close as they get to being able to understand each other. )
You're used to being unloved. ( he summarizes, staring straight ahead. )
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... Hah. No, you're wrong. [ about part of that, not all of it. ] I'd never leave.
[ because kaiser's pretty sure that while he got his mother's looks, he also got his father's single-minded temperament. has he not said it over and over again? with the right person, he could be happy with simple things for the rest of his life... ok, it was that with the right wife, missionary forever could be bliss, but same difference! ]
And you're used to being adored, Sae Itoshi.
[ he unprops his head, tilts in to kiss the side of sae's neck delicately... sure, sae itoshi knows him well — not perfectly, of course — but the mirror of that is that michael kaiser knows sae itoshi in turn. "adored" — it's not quite the same thing as "loved", in kaiser's opinion. items and symbols are things for being adored, and people are for being loved. ]
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( kind of a loaded word, but ok! we'll put that to the test when sae becomes the cheating wife — )
Loyalty of a dog with the temperament of a cat. ( what a strange combo. well, it's not like sae hates it, or anything — while confusing, he also admits that the unpredictability of it keeps him curious. he always shows people the exact amount of interest he thinks will suffice to keep them coming back; just enough, never more, but — with kaiser, it's a bit hard to estimate.
or perhaps there's no need to estimate it? perhaps there's no need for calculations and cold judgment — but, again. sae's not good at anything else. )
Mm. Yeah. ( not loved, but adored — from afar, from outside of a glass cage he'd built for himself, something for show, never to be touched. people have always treated him like that, anyway — like a symbol rather than a person; a thing, cold and unfeeling. he became what they saw, in the end; the world has shaped him adequately, he'd say?
still, that's not how it feels, when he's with kaiser. huffing out a small, warm breath, as the other's lips press to the side of his neck, he tips his head to allow the other more space, heart skipping an embarrassing beat. ugh....... this is why he can't do affection and relationships and anything of the sort????? he freezes, like deer in headlights, when faced with something genuine, and then — he wants to leave. that's his first instinct??? fighting it so hard rn. )
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[ he's not fucking scared to say it! in the omegaverse bonds are for life. duh! ]
... And, so? You've got the mindset of a predator and the instincts of a prey animal.
[ having obvious personality problems is basically a pre-requisite for being an NG11. but at least it does keep things interesting, true, and maybe kaiser enjoys the challenge a little bit. there's always a push and pull to try and keep sae feeling like he's in some kind of comfortable, ambiguous gray zone — and kaiser wouldn't say he's good at it, exactly, but he's gotten more experienced with it over time.
at the heart of it, if kaiser inspected that sentiment a little further, maybe he'd be forced to realize that what he really wants is for sae to feel comfortable around him, but, well. ]
Is that why you like people who'll chase you down like they want to get a bite out of you?
[ he's smirking against sae's neck because he thinks he's right. and then, tilting in a little further, he presses his teeth to the skin there — not biting down, but. thinking about it, maybe. ]
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( a noncommittal noise of acknowledgement — because yeah, he doesn't really believe it. people leave over the stupidest things, don't they? kaiser's too young to be so self-assured in this, anyway. and yeah, omegaverse bonds are forever, but SADLY this is not omegaverse!!!!!!! )
... ( he blinks, at that, almost surprised. that's... one way to put it, certainly? it's not wrong, though; his position often requires him to see things from both sides, doesn't it? still, his personal preferences are captured here, too — because it's true: he does feel the best with a set of sharp teeth against his throat, a warm breath at the back of his neck. must be the omega instincts...
he exhales, a little shaky when kaiser teases a bite, pulse spiking again. )
I like the desperation of it, I guess. The intensity. ( it makes sense, maybe? he's cold, so he likes being burned by it; scathed until he's forced to feel it. predators hunt prey down to survive: it's life or death, and that's how sae prefers it — all or nothing. )
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... You want to be warmed up from the inside out.
[ the hot bath might be a temporary solution to the issue, but that warmth will dissipate before long. kaiser lifts the hand resting on sae's waist up to his chest, over his heart — it's a little too easy to imagine sinking his hand into the cavity there, touching his heart, and finding it cold yet somehow still beating. ]
Tell me, Sae. Will you like me more if I show you how desperate I really am? [ so that sae can hide his own desperation in its shadows, perhaps — kaiser's tone is simultaneously easy yet tense all at once. he's kidding, unless sae is serious, in which case he's also serious. ]
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Mm... ( he can feel his own heart stutter against kaiser's touch, pulse rabbit-quick. he wishes the other could just tear him open and sink his hands inside, honestly; squeeze around his heart until it felt warm again. it's not possible, but it's a nice thought? because it's very normal to fantasize about your sort-of-bf goring you in the bath.
if he's kidding, sae can't really tell. it's nice, when other people seem more desperate, when they've got more stakes in something — at least seemingly.
it makes him free from responsibility. )
Yeah. ( he turns his head, then, to nip at kaiser's ear, one arm brought up, palm resting against his cheek. ) I will.
( you can imagine it's at the altar — )
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but kaiser knows from firsthand experience that sae's quite hardy, all things considered. ]
Oh... [ he laughs, but it's a sickly little sound— ] Then I'll show you. Not now, but... I will.
[ an exchanging of oaths, then.
he moves his hand from sae's chest to his face, sliding his palm over sae's eyes, pushing him down slightly to submerge sae deeper into the water... do you trust him, babygirl. ]
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'kay. ( the warmth of the bath makes him a little lethargic, so that's all he says, eyelids falling shut when kaiser covers his eyes with his hand.
a bit confused, but mostly compliant, he does allow the other to push him a little deeper into the water, still mostly relaxed. )
... what are you doing? ( but about trust, well — )
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[ well, at least kaiser knows how it comes across. he snickers lightly, quietly enough that sae can probably feel the way his chest moves more so than the sound it makes. ]
Just relax. Even if you fall asleep, you'll wake up later. Promise.
[ also, really... no reason, especially? kaiser's just the type to yank on his cr...ush's pigtails. he just had the impulse to pull sae downwards a little, to see if he'd react — and now that he's seen sae's response, he's oddly satisfied with how calmly it was taken. ]
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