open post / overflow

[outplayed]

I came here to meet you!       ( text | action | etc. )
... I want you to get in the way of my life.

Comments

[outplayed]

( from )

you think?

[ he doesn't know. ]

well to be fair, i dont think we have been the most subtle, but i also dont think noel noa really gives a shit what i do as long as i score goals
hes busy being a good mentor to [ HISSING ] yoichi rn

[ ... he doesn't know... ]

besides hes french, he probably has had way freakier sex

[ he truly just says whatever he wants about the french. to be fair, he doesn't know, but noa kind of deserves whatever shit it is kaiser wants to say about him! ]

[trivela]

[ if only he knew that if noel noa is captain holt. kaiser is cheddar. ]

you think he fucks?
he looks like he does photosimimy or whatever
that shit that plants do

[ sorry he slept through biology class... and history... and math... and everything else too. ]

[outplayed]

?
i dont know what that is

[ kaiser is thinking to himself "that sounds smart, though", unaware that it's probably some kind of unintentional stealth insult for a person who was basically unschooled to think that about somebody else. ]

but no, i think he does fuck and he probably is like, "it is important to manage my desires to maintain my ideal mindset as a striker"
i mean, all of the master strikers probably do, dont you think?

[ maybe they shouldn't think about this. ]

[trivela]

[ rin is so lucky to have found someone who doesn't notice how empty his head is. ]

that does sound like him
wait
does that imply loki fucks too

[ unfortunately, they probably had worse conversations... ]

[outplayed]

i do think he fucks but i feel like hes the type to not go for other athletes so we would never know the details

[ kaiser when he spreads his Theories for fun: ]

should we do a ranking? who fucks the most to who fucks the least? i think its got to be snuffy at the bottom if only because of his age

[trivela]

[ this is worse than their "in the event of an apocalypse, which people would you eat and in what order" conversation, which they totally had because rin is very interested in it. ]

he's ancient
chances are he can't even get it up anymore

[outplayed]

[ at least rin can rest easy knowing that kaiser would not hesitate to cannibalize others for the sake of survival, and probably said verbatim, "i don't know... i've eaten worse, i think. no, i'm not talking about your cum". ]

okay, i think the other noncontroversial choice is chris prince is probably at the top of the ranking
not because he deserves it but because he goes for it more often + success rate is high on account of people not having taste and ignoring the fact that he touches teenagers weirdly

[trivela]

[ ugh. rin hearing about kaiser eating bread crust and feeling so bad for him that he places an order for those expensive gourmet strawberries... ]

you're lucky you turn 20 soon
maybe he's like the guy from titanic who only dates women under 25

[outplayed]

[ and if he liked the bread crusts... that said, he'll take the expensive fruits. ]

im not worried about me, i think i have made it clear to him i absolutely hate his guts... but i think he probably will be after you at some point
you kind of fucking dogwalked mancity and he didnt even get a chance to do anything about it and hes a grown man who holds grudges against teenagers

so who is no2 in this ranking

[trivela]

don't worry about it
i'll just say i'm married

anyway, i think lavinho comes right after chris prince
he looks like he tries really hard
like those exotic birds that dance to impress a mate

[outplayed]

and add that its to somebody really territorial and aggressive

[ yayyy!!! ]

yeah, that i agree with. but he also seems like he would be the worst at it, he just goes for it more
anyways, im torn on 3rd/4th... i want to say loki 3rd but he might be too busy

[ kaiser doesn't have to think about it so hard, but yeah. ]

[trivela]

he might want to meet you then...

[ rin being delulu enough to think people would want to fight over him. el em a o. ]

what if he's like one of those guys that bootycall you, get their business done and then kick you out
if he's like that, it might work

[outplayed]

tell him he knows where to find me
or i can meet him in the tesco car park

[ that's what they do in the UK, right? they go to tesco and brawl to the death? also this conversation has become mega cursed with the brand new mbappe allegations... sorry loki... ]

that sounds more like noa than loki, to be honest
hed probably tell his hookups that they have to be done in 2.5 hours so that he can stay on schedule, for that matter

[trivela]

[ this is why men should be put in prison and fight their way out to earn their right to participate in society. ]

2.5 hours is ample time though
like we get a lot of stuff done in 2.5 hours
then again i guess we're younger and we have more energy...

[outplayed]

and we are free and spontaneous

[ some might say too free, too spontaneous. ]

he probably has it scheduled down to 15 minute intervals like a training schedule
greetings & other polite bullshit 0:00-0:30
foreplay 0:30-1:15
fucking 1:15-2:00
clean-up 2:00-2:30

[ he referenced his actual training schedule for that one. ]

[trivela]

30 minutes for polite bullshit?
sometimes i come over and i don't even say hi to you

[ unfortunately that might be because rin is an unsocialized kitten... puppy... autism creature. ]

[outplayed]

because we are free and spontaneous

[ good thing kaiser loves unsocialized animals! ]

hes surprisingly big on that kind of thing, though
he makes us do teambuilding activities often
all ive learned from them is there are a lot of people i dont want to build a team with and now everybody is too scared to arm wrestle with me

[trivela]

more like horny and impatient...

[ ugh. his unsocialized animal that hops on his dick whenever he asks for it. ]

they're into this kind of stuff huh
loki once asked us what we would do if it was guaranteed they could get away with it
everyone said stuff like adjusting their balls on the pitch or picking their nose during interviews and then i was the freak who said murder

[outplayed]

well yeah. but free and spontaneous sounds better in front of other people

[ love can be between an unsocialized animal and a barely socialized animal who have minimal impulse control against their instincts to mate... ]

maybe thats something all coaches do, then
also
????
why would anybody waste such a valuable opportunity on adjusting their balls. id be asking if mass murder counts if i do all the killing at once

[ mr. "i think about who i want to kill... and reflect on myself :)" in my free time. ]

[trivela]

[ they are working so hard to get kaiser barefoot and pregnant... ]

guess their only enemies are their balls
must be nice to live such a carefree life without making any enemies

[outplayed]

[ he wants kids BAD... ]

that just means theyre nothing notable
if youre good enough, then youll get haters just for existing

[trivela]

[ please bobin, come into existence... your mentally ill fathers need you... ]

is that why everyone is so obsessed with pissing me off

[outplayed]

[ please, god, send them the immaculate mpreg... ]

honestly, probably yes
or at least, thats probably a major part of it
you wouldnt go out of your way to piss off a literal who, would you?

[trivela]

true
it's not fun and you don't gain shit from it
pissing off loki, however...

[outplayed]

i also want to piss him off
im slightly jealous how many opportunities you get to do so

[ and this is before he dunked on the kaiser impact... sniffles... ]