And I think you're getting ahead of yourself, actually. Is this so different from how I treat other people?
[ this is the guy who introduced himself to blue lock by putting his hand to isagi's chin and then grabbing him by both wrists, and he gets handsy with ness on the regular — but ness knows that he's stuck in the cuck chair forever, so maybe that shouldn't be allowed as a point of reference. if anything, kaiser simply treats noa with a modicum of respect more than everybody else by being restrained in front of him.
so put altogether, kaiser is undoubtedly being forward relative to his usual behavior — and he's using plausible deniability to insist that this is "normal" for him, for a certain definition of normal. does kaiser know what he's getting into? he doesn't have an answer to that either! ]
It's not as if I clambered right into your lap or something, relax. And answer the question already, or I'm going to start thinking you don't have an answer.
[ provocative or dense? kaiser can act provocative and dense all at once, alright. ]
[ of course kaiser keeps himself in check when they're together - he's noel noa, the "world's best", the "captain", the "insert title foisted upon him" here. whether it's out of respect or an understanding that he's an authority figure, there's a sense of what behaviors they should and shouldn't engage in. a boundary, in other words. they've crossed a lot of boundaries though, here and other times. this isn't even the worst instance so far (though that may well change at this rate...)
but he's not unaware of kaiser's penchant for acting a bit like a peacock, spreading his feathers and making a scene to posture his superiority. flashy and ruthless in equal measure to strike maximum damage into the enemy's heart. not noa's style in the slightest. he plays and scores because that's what he does for a living, and his rivals drop like flies because they can't keep up.
he doesn't want hollow kaiser out before he's gotten everything he wants out of him. ]
What was the question again - 'do I have a reason to not let you stay'? [ plenty. but he's going to go for the biggest one- ] Top of mind: you're not ready for this. I don't think you can handle it. And you might feel offended, but that's my assessment.
[ damn what is this! can't kaiser just want to peacefully co-sleep to prevent the nightmares?! he doesn't, but can't he? ]
Am I so damn irresistible that you won't be able to help yourself? The cyborg Noel Noa can't stay rational in front of something like me? [ if ness said something like that to him, kaiser would be saying the most vile things about what a useless dog he is, for the record. ] That's not my problem, it's yours. Or, what, is that your way of showing compassion to me?
[ he doesn't need that! kaiser visibly resists the urge to roll his eyes, but he does arrogantly and unnecessarily toss his hair over his shoulder. of course kaiser is offended, but more than that, he thinks this is simply a bad reason. if he chooses to play with fire and gets burned, well... that's just been his entire blue lock experience so far, what else is new. at least give him a reason that he has to create crazy logic to argue against, instead of one that he doesn't respect at all! ]
[ the chance to sleep has passed. they're really in it now, ariana. ]
Have I ever shown you compassion? That's not my way.
[ that is, without question, the last thing on his mind in this situation. he affords no one compassion, not even himself, because comfort is a prison of safe delusion people trap themselves in. people may misinterpret him as kind at times, because he takes an action deemed that on a surface level, but he knows nothing he has ever said or done is motivated out of some intrinsic value that he must be a good samaritan.
so, he'll make it more clear: ]
As I told you earlier - we're not equals. You wouldn't challenge me the way I want.
[ as ever, it's always a game. he doesn't want to waste time playing against people who don't make it worth his while. it's the same logic as to why he never uses that nonsensical star system until one of his obnoxious peers decides to put themselves in. ]
If this isn't showing me compassion, then explain to me what all this moaning and groaning is. [ truthfully, kaiser knows it is absolutely not compassion. he just wants to hear what it actually is. ] You don't want to break a toy before you've enjoyed playing with it properly, is that what this is? Again, that's your problem.
[ somebody teach this grown ass man how to play with his toys nicely... but if that's what this is, then kaiser is pissed. that is not very rational sounding to him! control thyself better!! ]
Fucking hypocrite. [ he's jabbing his elbow into noa's ribs briefly, because he can no longer resist the temptation given his frustration with the situation. forget all the small wins he has gotten tonight! kaiser is NOT going to sleep if he doesn't get the last win! ] What about that is rational and logical.
[ he swats the elbow away as the jab draws the tiniest roblox 'oof' out of him. is he being hypocritical? he thinks it all makes perfect sense. then again, taking a moment to reflect, he can see it from the other side too. no matter how honest his assessment, kaiser won't respect it because noa's logic behind it is "because I said so". he relishes being able to take on impossible tasks, so telling him he can't is only going to spur him on.
(and maybe, a terrible part of him must confess, he wants to see if it will. what will happen if he just keeps pressing those buttons. he really is careless with other people and it doesn't bother him to know that.)
noa rolls a shoulder, the one kaiser isn't leaning toward, and it creeks from stiffness. he normally stretches around this time of night and his body is irritated from a lack of maintenance. ]
I never waste my time or my energy. Everything I do, I do because I gain something from it. [ big or small, it's always about a trade-off. he doesn't do something for nothing. ] So what will I get out of this? Not enough to outweigh the risks. You're not convincing me yet.
[ and there are risks inherent to this engagement they're negotiating. far more to him than kaiser frankly. he doesn't want to indulge just for the sake of it. that's far from rational to him. ]
And where exactly do you think I'm supposed to be getting more experience from?
[ from leaving to make out with isagi instead? first of all, no. second of all, kaiser would be willing to bet a few months of his salary that he's the experienced one in that comparison. finally... again, no!
at least noa's old bones acting up makes kaiser feel slightly better. grandpa's on his way out in a matter of time and kaiser just cannot wait for that day, yippee!! rolling his eyes, kaiser reaches across noa's back to grab at his shoulder and rather forcefully apply a vaguely massage-like, rotational force as he continues to yap away, preemptively shooting up a baleful look that says something like shut your mouth! i know what i'm doing! — youth team members don't get the same resources, so it isn't unusual for them to end up doing amateur chiropractic services on each other. ]
You're a waste of space as a master who doesn't provide any experience that I couldn't get from running a computer program on my physical data instead. Any improvements I'm making are wholly in spite of you, not because of you.
[ oops, it wasn't very mature of him to vent all of that out. but kaiser hasn't been very mature all evening anyways, so there's no point in worrying about it at this point. ]
... If you want a reason, there's an obvious one. There's a payoff at the end of the road, duh. [ it's a long-term investment and the reward is being able to influence this horrible creature in the direction of noa's liking... or so kaiser assumes. ] Is that not literally the same as the reason we're in this fucking jail experiment in the first place?
[ making out with your rival is actually very healthy for a player's development. would also make for great fan service and views on the app. it's perfect for experience before he starts trying to mack on his captain.
and no, he does not think kaiser knows what he's doing when he begins to massage him, but he starts ranting too fast for noa to raise even a mild objection. whatever, it isn't completely awful. ]
Is that what this is? I don't pay enough attention to you and you're upset? [ aww... no, he knows that isn't what it is. ] What's the payoff - I relieve your stress and you stop giving me grief?
[ kaiser knows what he's doing!! which is why he's finishing off by smacking the side of his hand into noa's back with force, because everybody knows that if there are bones that feel weirdly out of place, a good smack in the right direction will put them back in. a classic move that is effective on grandpas everywhere! ]
Don't be fucking dense. [ just a pair of horrible, provocative and dense europeans doing pvp with each other right now. ] Even if I can't give you what you exactly want today, then it moves me closer to giving what you want tomorrow. And you think that I'm the closest to providing that, aren't I?
[ as noel noa's personally chosen lab rat and all, by noa's own admission. ]
Or were you full of shit when you said that earlier?
[ that gets a wince out of him. his body is going to be sore tomorrow and he knows that spot especially will be aching extra.
so the idea of this is trial and error. it might not be worth much tonight, but it could pay off later on. and he is investing in kaiser, even if this wasn't what he had in mind. it's bad that he isn't horribly opposed to this... he would have waited a couple more years to consider this level of escalation though. how long will they have together? noa runs through people a lot faster than when he was younger. ]
No, I wasn't. [ kaiser might soon wish he was, but not because of tonight. ] But I don't want you regretting anything later.
[ a final chance, maybe a bit of a defense. maybe this is the most compassion he could ever muster. these things have to be mutual in his eyes. they both need to want this or it turns messy, complicated, and frustrating for everyone. ]
You already that claimed you aren't being compassionate, so don't fucking irritate me with that shit.
[ kaiser would like to reiterate: hypocrite! irrational! okay, maybe kaiser doesn't exactly know what he's getting into here, but so be it. he also had no idea what he was getting into when some old man took him out of jail and told him to kick ball good, and kaiser has managed just fine — excelled, even, because kaiser tends to perform better the more difficult the task is. if anything, he has a better idea of what noa is about to bring to the metaphorical table than back then. ]
You're being so annoying. [ don't make him roll his eyes again. in a decidedly more annoyed fashion, kaiser reaches down to unzip his jacket the rest of the way. it's not even slightly seductive, really. ] How about this, if you're sooooo damn concerned you'll break me like a child with no restraint, you can hold still for two seconds afterwards so I can be the second person to break your nose.
[ oh thank goodness he's not trying to act seductive anymore, it saves noa from the experience of cringing internally every few minutes. he is so uninterested in that prospect. if anything he rather kaiser just be annoyed with him, because he prefers the tension that comes out of it. his affairs are awful, but there's an agreement that the opposite wouldn't work for them.
testing the waters, noa sets his hands on kaiser's shoulders and slips them under the jacket, pulling down in an urge to make him shed it all together. ]
Don't get violent with me. Even I have limits. [ as if he's a brute. he knows how to keep himself on a leash. the damage he deals out is often emotional, because having low empathy means you hurt people without realizing it. ] Though if you want to stop at any point, you just have to say so.
[ that's not a rise or bait, just a reminder that they're both agreeing to this and can end that agreement at any moment. ]
[ noa shouldn't worry, kaiser will still be sure to stand significantly closer to noa in public areas at all times from now on just to be an annoyance, not to be seductive. kaiser hasn't forgotten his threats... 💙 ]
Okay? Who was it who just told me that I don't get to decide when we're done, on account of us not being equals? [ if it looks like kaiser is baring his fangs in preparation to bite, then it's because he might be thinking about it, yeah. don't piss him off any further or he can't make any promises about restraining his violence... ] Moving the goalposts on me like that... don't look down on me so blatantly, I have my limits too.
[ he might get eyestrain from rolling his eyeballs any further, so he'll refrain and simply allow noa to push his jacket off, jaw tense with his irritation as he reaches over to unzip noa's jacket as well. ]
The time's long passed to act the responsible adult, don't you think?
[ that is not-- no, no, there's no point opening his mouth. the more he speaks, the further he collides into the same deepening dent in a brick wall that won't break. kaiser is too aggrieved to be reasoned with at this point. he's right about one thing though: he can't claim to be responsible nor respectable under these circumstances.
well, he never claimed to be either of those things to start with. he's a bastard more than anything else, right to his core. ]
You talk too much.
[ with that, he leans in to land the first blow of the night by stealing a kiss. firm and mean, he lingers for a few seconds before pulling back to slip off his jacket at kaiser's insistence. then he pushes forward again, snaking a hand around his waist to bring him in closer. ]
[ if kaiser knew, he would be proud of himself for inducing in noa the same feeling that everybody else gets interacting with noa himself: meet the impenetrable wall that makes people unstable after throwing themselves into the wall repeatedly. anyways, maybe at some point noa will realize that kaiser has a specific way that he wants all of his interactions to go ahead of time and will twist everything available to force them in that direction, but if not... that's fine too.
after replaying his horrible, terrible, no-good christmas eve mistakes like a normal person does, kaiser came to a few conclusions about how he misplayed. the first and most crucial issue was that he simply lost his cool, but the second was that he escalated too quickly assuming that he could maintain some kind of guarantee of mutually assured destruction, only to get utterly outgunned. the final is that he shouldn't underestimate what a creature noel noa is at heart, so — the logical conclusion from all of these observations: he shouldn't accelerate right into this and make sure to inch forward onto stable ground at every step.
the fool he was (only a few months ago) would have climbed right into noa's lap and straddled him, the fool that he is right now is restrained enough to merely put his arms around noa's neck and tilt his face up, parting his lips slightly and licking at noa's mouth like an adorable kitten, meow. ]
[ there are noted differences from the last time they engaged in this manner. the biggest is that they aren't on a time limit. noa was keenly aware that they could be discovered outside at any moment and so they couldn't take their time. he had to be aggressive, bare his fangs and go in for the kill. every move they made was an escalation until one of them won out. they were on a perilous clock that could run out and ruin them at any moment. that won't happen here - there will be no sudden interruptions.
kaiser may have the same idea, or maybe he realized that if he escalates too fast then noa will up the ante in response. whatever the case, noa withholds entrance for a couple beats before parting his mouth just to keep some suspense going. there's still lingering hints of the sweets they had, weak but present, and noa hums quietly as he slides their tongues together to take it in and share. it tastes better this way and he decides his reluctance to indulge was incorrect if this is the outcome.
for now he'll follow kaiser's lead and decide when to start adding pressure. this isn't a fast paced race, but a drawn out marathon. he wants this to last longer than the night of the holiday party. ]
[ from that brief amount of contact, kaiser supposes that noa is of a similar mind — there isn't going to be a mad dash to a conclusion, split lips within a matter of minutes and a winner determined sooner rather than later. that they've landed on the same approach to the situation is mildly vexing, but kaiser will take it as a good sign that he probably won't drastically misread as long as he keeps his wits about him.
and in contrast, kaiser finds it odd to taste a bit of chocolate in their kiss, but then again, he did eat much more of that ice cream than noa did. when he inevitably does his replay of this to assess how much his performance improved from their last encounter, kaiser will make a note to self that the next time he's weird and intrusive and food is involved, maybe take two different flavors to keep things more interesting.
as for their current weird, intrusive tryst — kaiser doesn't quite lean in, but he tilts his entire body towards noa, eyes open but slightly narrowed. he won't deepen the kiss, and there's noticeable deliberation in how he seems unwilling to toe that line at the moment — but he moves one of his hands against noa's neck, sliding his fingers down to rest around the left side, curling his fingertips to press in slightly, as if mirroring where the rose tattoos on his own neck are. he doubts noa is particularly sensitive here, but he's curious if he'll react at all; the neck is a delicate area, after all. ]
[ with the tilt, noa hugs his arm closer around kaiser's waist and plants his other hand into the mattress to hold his position firm and stable. tipping over would be unwise for a few reasons, the most important that he doesn't want to give any advantage to kaiser this early in. it does leave him without a way to stop the fingers from trailing against his neck, the curl in earning a twitch of the eyebrow and a hitch in his breath.
only as it happens does a recollection play of when the same fingers pressed into the rose tattoo, as he pulled away from devouring kaiser's mouth in their last bout. it wasn't pleasant to watch, and it doesn't particularly feel the same way here. his mind sends a false alarm about being strangled that he bats immediately, less it distract him. noise built from instinctual fears inherited over generations. kaiser wouldn't hurt him - not like that anyway.
noa steels himself from making any move that would suggest he doesn't want them there. then he counters by crawling his fingers down, carefully feeling for the hem of his shirt, then tucking and sliding them up. he teases up the waistline and curls into the abominable region, blindly mapping out the muscles that compromise his core, continuing to stoke the shared heat in the kiss. he wants to split kaiser's attention, make it harder to know what to focus on.
he's always had an appreciation for a physically fit form, though isn't crude about it like a certain brit. for him, it's knowing how much effort and time has been put into the process that makes it satisfying to feel and name each muscle with clinical care from his fingers. it applies to himself as much as others. ]
[ kaiser knows this trick, when you try to split somebody's attention to distract them from what's about to happen — a classic trick to throw defenders off your actual angle. unfortunately, kaiser also appreciates data-driven analysis, and will watch matches obsessively to try and learn his opponents' tells and tendencies; he happens to know noel noa better than most, so he's pretty sure the focus has shifted to feeling him up, because noa surely appreciates the body more than the mouth.
truth be told, there's nothing particularly remarkable about kaiser's physique in and of itself. he's in very much in shape, obviously, but there are even players on the youth team who are more built than him and whom kaiser can't win against in pure strength, nor does he try to — what's remarkable is the way that kaiser uses his physique, efficiently and conscientiously, and the fact that he's very clearly thought about how to train to build up his natural strengths in a balanced way. kaiser isn't particularly proud of it, because he's not proud of anything he attributes to what was passed down to him, but that won't stop kaiser from stretching up, the muscles in his core naturally tensing to showboat a bit. he's not that sensitive, it'll take more than that to get a reaction out of him — at least, that's the impression he'd like to give off.
in the same stretching motion, he also tilts his face up, pulling away — reduce the amount of noise to concentrate on what's important, isn't that what noa preaches? for a moment, it probably seems like kaiser is going to say something unnecessary. perhaps something like, what, are you going to give me workout tips in the middle of this? — but after opening his mouth slightly as if to say something, his expression instead pulls into a decidedly unearned smirk. yes, yes, he knows noa thinks he talks too damn much! that's on purpose! he can be perfectly restrained when he wants to be, which is why he keeps his mouth shut and lets his hand trail from noa's neck to his chest because if they're doing this, then he wants to shamelessly grope at and feel up noa's pecs too... in some mix of making a concession and making a suggestion, though, he'll bare his neck for noa. it's definitely bait, but could be the kind worth going for: kaiser presumes noa has not remained ignorant to kaiser's tendency to touch his own neck at times. ]
[ noa doesn't chase as the kiss ends and the haughty smirk earns no reaction either, face eerily blank as he waits for what comes next. he is glad that whatever irritating quip kaiser had on the mind didn't slip out because he does not want to hear it. maybe he should have mentioned that he's a "lights off, no talk" sort of man, but he doesn't want to hear kaiser's opinion on his preferences.
he does like the hand feeling him up, though his pecs are toned muscle with little fat to really squeeze at. its the friction that can rile him up more than any particular region of his body. whether kaiser can figure that out is on him. noa prefers a discovery approach to understanding what his partners like, then draw it out of them with slow and precise care. it's why he keeps his eyes on kaiser's face as he continues to let his hand wander, using the curve of his nail to trace around the stretched muscle, identifying it, then moving to the next without rush. he's deliberately avoiding going further down, which leads his fingers sans thumb to map upward to tease the solar plexus. detached and surveying what he's working with, for now.
as for the neck? well he sees the bait and he's not uninterested, but he doesn't want to lose sight of kaiser's face. it's tempting but a distraction from the current objective. this close up the sharp azure blue of the rose threatens to ensnare his eyes if he doesn't keep locked on and exert a touch of willpower to do so. still, the way his eyes are initially lured in gives away his interest. he knows kaiser won't miss it. whether he picked it up from his training in the club or the time he's spent under his wing, noa knows how vigilant he is of even minute shifts in body language.
there are things he knows well about kaiser, things he wants to know but knows it isn't his place to pry, and things he wants to cultivate an understanding of. he wants these things in part because they're necessary and in part because he does like kaiser. you have to care about your rivals to someday best them. ]
[ shockingly, kaiser can guess that noa is a "lights off, no talk" type. he also assumes that noa would probably like it if kaiser left immediately after doing the deed, but he is not doing that, thanks!
this exchange is deceptively slow-paced and light-fingered, but kaiser understands there is a crucial intensity to it that stops him from acting too haphazardly. the smirk melts off of his face as he stares back — the fact that kaiser at base has a restrained and severe personality rather than being a natural showboat isn't exactly difficult to figure out after watching him long enough, especially during those moments of pressure when it's hard to hide your true nature. he's not going to bother putting the energy towards putting up pretenses when he's got enough to juggle at the moment.
as for this round: kaiser notes that noa's gaze is drawn away for a moment, then gives away not long afterwards a wary shifting of his shoulders as noa's hand moves towards his solar plexus. there's something telling about the fact that this happens a heartbeat before noa's actually touched around his mid-abdomen — it's one of the places on the body that kaiser instinctively wants to safeguard, knowing very well that one well-placed blow there could be a huge mistake. kaiser sighs, briefly but sharply, more at himself than anything else, and then detours to grab noa by the wrist and press noa's hand into his own body. it serves two purposes — the tight, uncompromising grasp he uses is a signal of how much much pressure he wants to feel against himself too, but it's also to show he's certainly not scared of noa touching him anywhere, because what is he going to do, segue into knocking the wind out of kaiser in the middle of this? and what if kaiser might be into that too?? ahah???
he won't say anything, because now kaiser feels like he'd lose against his self-imposed rules if he resorts to words. but he won't let go until noa starts putting more strength into his touch, because kaiser can't get much enjoyment out of it until he does. it'd be even better for him if it hurt a little, honestly, but he is not going to open that can of worms here and now. ]
[ the grab brings out that rare moment where his eyes widen, the same way witnessing an impressive goal would in the heat of a tight match. he doesn't fight it, unhooking his arm from the waist so that his hand can be properly planted to the most vulnerable part of the chest. his expression simmers and returns to an imperceptible contemplation, understanding the intention but not the motivation. a way to posture pride and courage? that even if he were to push firm and rough, kaiser can withstand it? for all the ways he can read kaiser, there are still times the would-be emperor can surprise him.
kaiser was born and raised in strife and this is one of few things noa knows they have in common. through a pinch of luck their paths crossed and noa navigated it into a collision. however, noa has little interest in the superficial elements they share in their past - his interest is always forward, never back. he wants to see kaiser break, reconstruct himself from the shattered fragments, and come back stronger with the visible cracks. he wants to see if kaiser can keep fighting no matter how many times it happens. no theory is perfect on the first round - you must test, test, test, and keep testing even after you've proven it.
noa won't dismiss this challenge because he has no desire to insult kaiser. they aren't equals, but he respects kaiser in his own way. so he begins to apply pressure. first with the heel of his palm, then tensing his fingers and applying it with the tips of his fingers. he mimics it from the brief memory of when kaiser pressed into his own neck, waiting to see what it brings out of him. would it be painful or pleasurable? will it be neither and something else noa can't imagine yet. even he isn't sure and that excites him, chest tightening in anticipation. ]
[ it's not exactly the sensation of being constrained that kaiser wants, but it's closer to it; he relaxes a little, shoulders slackening as some tension leaves his frame. this feeling is more familiar to him than a slow and steady touch, so he feels more comfortable like this. not enough pressure and kaiser won't want to respond, too much and however he responds might not fully be under his control — but noa should've already figured this out about him, so kaiser isn't concerned about that. if there is something kaiser is concerned about, it's that this is some kind of test, because he always assumes that noel noa is attempting to throw some kind of test at him.
kaiser's breathing is steady, but a touch slower and deeper than usual as he looks at noa — as always, kaiser is carefully judging the distance between him and what he wants to do. it's not the gaze of an apex predator, because kaiser has never identified with that, but a predator lower on the food chain. he has to be careful, in case he gets eaten up by making himself vulnerable overextending, but he can't afford to forego any chances to eat either. shall he make a move to escalate or continue offering himself up and following noa's pace?
it takes him a few seconds to consider this; as he does so, he loosens his grip on noa, idly rubbing the pad of his thumb against the inside of his wrist. his instincts are telling him to hold back and wait so that he doesn't get taken off guard while his attention is still as focused as it is — and he did say that he doesn't bite until provoked first, so kaiser supposes he should keep his word. instead of pushing, then, he pulls at noa's shoulder as he leans back carefully: he shall permit noa the honor of laying him down on the bed. ]
[ noa locks focus into observing kaiser in the way a sniper zones in through the scope, but not yet ready to take the shot. slow and steady breath, tension melting, mind calculating the next move behind blue eyes. that's something noa has always appreciated about kaiser - he's extremely analytical, more than anyone gives him credit for. he scopes the field with fast imperceptible rotations of the head, sees two steps ahead for the most dangerous spot, and makes it there faster than anyone else. his lithe frame specializes in agility and his intelligence supports it.
noa saw this quality in him the first time he observed him play in the youth league. the club invited him to watch and provide feedback on the players during a finals match, to determine who was worth investing and cultivating for the main squad in the future. kaiser was unquestionably the most impressive, ness in second but carried by linking his plays to him. it was a shock to learn he had materialized out of nowhere, likely only playing a couple years at that point. noa took it as a sign.
this too is a sign. noa permits kaiser to guide them down, his hand firmly pressing down at the pace of the lean and legs shifting so that he towers over kaiser as head meets pillow. like this he turns from sniper to surgeon, clinically evaluating over the operating table but not yet ready to make the first incision. he imagines his eyes cold and pupils dilated, inhuman gold irises assessing. then, he dips his upper body. slow enough that it can be caught for a second, fast enough to not permit a reaction. the press on kaiser's chest turns to a pin, elbow bending out as noa goes for kaiser's mouth-
-then feints to his neck, digging his teeth into the center of the blue rose. ]
[ unfortunately, if questioned, kaiser would have to admit: he does remember the first time he laid eyes on noel noa in the flesh. the times that the youth academy members happened to pass by the first team don't count, because kaiser never had any interest in craning his head around to gawk. he knew of the most famous players of the time, because it'd be difficult to not know, but they were always nebulous figures in kaiser's mind that he might see on a magazine he'd picked up off the streets, not real people, and the fact that he partially coexisted with them never actively occurred to him until the first time that a few members from the first team had been pulled to observe one of his matches — against whom? kaiser can't remember, but he knows it was the final of that year's u-19 bundesliga.
"look, that's noel noa and the vice-captains," ness had murmured, tugging at kaiser's sleeve and discreetly pointing. kaiser had sluggishly looked over, mostly to humor ness's excitement, expecting to have to ask which one, exactly, is noa — but it had been obvious through atmosphere alone. the kaiser back then would have been visibly so perplexed if somebody had told him he would end up in this situation someday.
as it is now, kaiser lays back, lifting a leg up to adjust and give space. noa's eyes are dissecting him like he's a practice cadaver, but kaiser's response to that is to restrain a smirk, though the corner of his mouth still pulls up. and why not? it's a little funny that this is happening in soccer prison in a different country and the warden gave the best in the world a bed that compares to those in the youth dorms back in munich. also, he's not normal and is overly conscious of being looked at in general, so noa's surgical surveying of him doesn't sink in properly — such is how it goes when he fed himself almost entirely by stealing for the majority of his life.
this combined with noa's hand on his chest leaves him more unguarded than he ideally would've been when noa makes his move. kaiser tilts his head up, which incidentally bares his neck again — when kaiser does his replay of this, he'll have to admit, an excellent move on noa's part, but he's not upset over it in the moment. the sound he makes when noa puts his teeth to skin is more of a breathless laugh than anything else, before he hooks his arm around noa's upper back, fingernails curling aggressively into the muscle where the neckline meets the back. he likes this a little, but he wants to be eaten up properly if he must get eaten up at all. ]
no subject
[ this is the guy who introduced himself to blue lock by putting his hand to isagi's chin and then grabbing him by both wrists, and he gets handsy with ness on the regular — but ness knows that he's stuck in the cuck chair forever, so maybe that shouldn't be allowed as a point of reference. if anything, kaiser simply treats noa with a modicum of respect more than everybody else by being restrained in front of him.
so put altogether, kaiser is undoubtedly being forward relative to his usual behavior — and he's using plausible deniability to insist that this is "normal" for him, for a certain definition of normal. does kaiser know what he's getting into? he doesn't have an answer to that either! ]
It's not as if I clambered right into your lap or something, relax. And answer the question already, or I'm going to start thinking you don't have an answer.
[ provocative or dense? kaiser can act provocative and dense all at once, alright. ]
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[ of course kaiser keeps himself in check when they're together - he's noel noa, the "world's best", the "captain", the "insert title foisted upon him" here. whether it's out of respect or an understanding that he's an authority figure, there's a sense of what behaviors they should and shouldn't engage in. a boundary, in other words. they've crossed a lot of boundaries though, here and other times. this isn't even the worst instance so far (though that may well change at this rate...)
but he's not unaware of kaiser's penchant for acting a bit like a peacock, spreading his feathers and making a scene to posture his superiority. flashy and ruthless in equal measure to strike maximum damage into the enemy's heart. not noa's style in the slightest. he plays and scores because that's what he does for a living, and his rivals drop like flies because they can't keep up.
he doesn't want hollow kaiser out before he's gotten everything he wants out of him. ]
What was the question again - 'do I have a reason to not let you stay'? [ plenty. but he's going to go for the biggest one- ] Top of mind: you're not ready for this. I don't think you can handle it. And you might feel offended, but that's my assessment.
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Am I so damn irresistible that you won't be able to help yourself? The cyborg Noel Noa can't stay rational in front of something like me? [ if ness said something like that to him, kaiser would be saying the most vile things about what a useless dog he is, for the record. ] That's not my problem, it's yours. Or, what, is that your way of showing compassion to me?
[ he doesn't need that! kaiser visibly resists the urge to roll his eyes, but he does arrogantly and unnecessarily toss his hair over his shoulder. of course kaiser is offended, but more than that, he thinks this is simply a bad reason. if he chooses to play with fire and gets burned, well... that's just been his entire blue lock experience so far, what else is new. at least give him a reason that he has to create crazy logic to argue against, instead of one that he doesn't respect at all! ]
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Have I ever shown you compassion? That's not my way.
[ that is, without question, the last thing on his mind in this situation. he affords no one compassion, not even himself, because comfort is a prison of safe delusion people trap themselves in. people may misinterpret him as kind at times, because he takes an action deemed that on a surface level, but he knows nothing he has ever said or done is motivated out of some intrinsic value that he must be a good samaritan.
so, he'll make it more clear: ]
As I told you earlier - we're not equals. You wouldn't challenge me the way I want.
[ as ever, it's always a game. he doesn't want to waste time playing against people who don't make it worth his while. it's the same logic as to why he never uses that nonsensical star system until one of his obnoxious peers decides to put themselves in. ]
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[ somebody teach this grown ass man how to play with his toys nicely... but if that's what this is, then kaiser is pissed. that is not very rational sounding to him! control thyself better!! ]
Fucking hypocrite. [ he's jabbing his elbow into noa's ribs briefly, because he can no longer resist the temptation given his frustration with the situation. forget all the small wins he has gotten tonight! kaiser is NOT going to sleep if he doesn't get the last win! ] What about that is rational and logical.
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[ he swats the elbow away as the jab draws the tiniest roblox 'oof' out of him. is he being hypocritical? he thinks it all makes perfect sense. then again, taking a moment to reflect, he can see it from the other side too. no matter how honest his assessment, kaiser won't respect it because noa's logic behind it is "because I said so". he relishes being able to take on impossible tasks, so telling him he can't is only going to spur him on.
(and maybe, a terrible part of him must confess, he wants to see if it will. what will happen if he just keeps pressing those buttons. he really is careless with other people and it doesn't bother him to know that.)
noa rolls a shoulder, the one kaiser isn't leaning toward, and it creeks from stiffness. he normally stretches around this time of night and his body is irritated from a lack of maintenance. ]
I never waste my time or my energy. Everything I do, I do because I gain something from it. [ big or small, it's always about a trade-off. he doesn't do something for nothing. ] So what will I get out of this? Not enough to outweigh the risks. You're not convincing me yet.
[ and there are risks inherent to this engagement they're negotiating. far more to him than kaiser frankly. he doesn't want to indulge just for the sake of it. that's far from rational to him. ]
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[ from leaving to make out with isagi instead? first of all, no. second of all, kaiser would be willing to bet a few months of his salary that he's the experienced one in that comparison. finally... again, no!
at least noa's old bones acting up makes kaiser feel slightly better. grandpa's on his way out in a matter of time and kaiser just cannot wait for that day, yippee!! rolling his eyes, kaiser reaches across noa's back to grab at his shoulder and rather forcefully apply a vaguely massage-like, rotational force as he continues to yap away, preemptively shooting up a baleful look that says something like shut your mouth! i know what i'm doing! — youth team members don't get the same resources, so it isn't unusual for them to end up doing amateur chiropractic services on each other. ]
You're a waste of space as a master who doesn't provide any experience that I couldn't get from running a computer program on my physical data instead. Any improvements I'm making are wholly in spite of you, not because of you.
[ oops, it wasn't very mature of him to vent all of that out. but kaiser hasn't been very mature all evening anyways, so there's no point in worrying about it at this point. ]
... If you want a reason, there's an obvious one. There's a payoff at the end of the road, duh. [ it's a long-term investment and the reward is being able to influence this horrible creature in the direction of noa's liking... or so kaiser assumes. ] Is that not literally the same as the reason we're in this fucking jail experiment in the first place?
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and no, he does not think kaiser knows what he's doing when he begins to massage him, but he starts ranting too fast for noa to raise even a mild objection. whatever, it isn't completely awful. ]
Is that what this is? I don't pay enough attention to you and you're upset? [ aww... no, he knows that isn't what it is. ] What's the payoff - I relieve your stress and you stop giving me grief?
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Don't be fucking dense. [ just a pair of horrible, provocative and dense europeans doing pvp with each other right now. ] Even if I can't give you what you exactly want today, then it moves me closer to giving what you want tomorrow. And you think that I'm the closest to providing that, aren't I?
[ as noel noa's personally chosen lab rat and all, by noa's own admission. ]
Or were you full of shit when you said that earlier?
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so the idea of this is trial and error. it might not be worth much tonight, but it could pay off later on. and he is investing in kaiser, even if this wasn't what he had in mind. it's bad that he isn't horribly opposed to this... he would have waited a couple more years to consider this level of escalation though. how long will they have together? noa runs through people a lot faster than when he was younger. ]
No, I wasn't. [ kaiser might soon wish he was, but not because of tonight. ] But I don't want you regretting anything later.
[ a final chance, maybe a bit of a defense. maybe this is the most compassion he could ever muster. these things have to be mutual in his eyes. they both need to want this or it turns messy, complicated, and frustrating for everyone. ]
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[ kaiser would like to reiterate: hypocrite! irrational! okay, maybe kaiser doesn't exactly know what he's getting into here, but so be it. he also had no idea what he was getting into when some old man took him out of jail and told him to kick ball good, and kaiser has managed just fine — excelled, even, because kaiser tends to perform better the more difficult the task is. if anything, he has a better idea of what noa is about to bring to the metaphorical table than back then. ]
You're being so annoying. [ don't make him roll his eyes again. in a decidedly more annoyed fashion, kaiser reaches down to unzip his jacket the rest of the way. it's not even slightly seductive, really. ] How about this, if you're sooooo damn concerned you'll break me like a child with no restraint, you can hold still for two seconds afterwards so I can be the second person to break your nose.
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testing the waters, noa sets his hands on kaiser's shoulders and slips them under the jacket, pulling down in an urge to make him shed it all together. ]
Don't get violent with me. Even I have limits. [ as if he's a brute. he knows how to keep himself on a leash. the damage he deals out is often emotional, because having low empathy means you hurt people without realizing it. ] Though if you want to stop at any point, you just have to say so.
[ that's not a rise or bait, just a reminder that they're both agreeing to this and can end that agreement at any moment. ]
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Okay? Who was it who just told me that I don't get to decide when we're done, on account of us not being equals? [ if it looks like kaiser is baring his fangs in preparation to bite, then it's because he might be thinking about it, yeah. don't piss him off any further or he can't make any promises about restraining his violence... ] Moving the goalposts on me like that... don't look down on me so blatantly, I have my limits too.
[ he might get eyestrain from rolling his eyeballs any further, so he'll refrain and simply allow noa to push his jacket off, jaw tense with his irritation as he reaches over to unzip noa's jacket as well. ]
The time's long passed to act the responsible adult, don't you think?
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well, he never claimed to be either of those things to start with. he's a bastard more than anything else, right to his core. ]
You talk too much.
[ with that, he leans in to land the first blow of the night by stealing a kiss. firm and mean, he lingers for a few seconds before pulling back to slip off his jacket at kaiser's insistence. then he pushes forward again, snaking a hand around his waist to bring him in closer. ]
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after replaying his horrible, terrible, no-good christmas eve mistakes like a normal person does, kaiser came to a few conclusions about how he misplayed. the first and most crucial issue was that he simply lost his cool, but the second was that he escalated too quickly assuming that he could maintain some kind of guarantee of mutually assured destruction, only to get utterly outgunned. the final is that he shouldn't underestimate what a creature noel noa is at heart, so — the logical conclusion from all of these observations: he shouldn't accelerate right into this and make sure to inch forward onto stable ground at every step.
the fool he was (only a few months ago) would have climbed right into noa's lap and straddled him, the fool that he is right now is restrained enough to merely put his arms around noa's neck and tilt his face up, parting his lips slightly and licking at noa's mouth like an adorable kitten, meow. ]
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kaiser may have the same idea, or maybe he realized that if he escalates too fast then noa will up the ante in response. whatever the case, noa withholds entrance for a couple beats before parting his mouth just to keep some suspense going. there's still lingering hints of the sweets they had, weak but present, and noa hums quietly as he slides their tongues together to take it in and share. it tastes better this way and he decides his reluctance to indulge was incorrect if this is the outcome.
for now he'll follow kaiser's lead and decide when to start adding pressure. this isn't a fast paced race, but a drawn out marathon. he wants this to last longer than the night of the holiday party. ]
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and in contrast, kaiser finds it odd to taste a bit of chocolate in their kiss, but then again, he did eat much more of that ice cream than noa did. when he inevitably does his replay of this to assess how much his performance improved from their last encounter, kaiser will make a note to self that the next time he's weird and intrusive and food is involved, maybe take two different flavors to keep things more interesting.
as for their current weird, intrusive tryst — kaiser doesn't quite lean in, but he tilts his entire body towards noa, eyes open but slightly narrowed. he won't deepen the kiss, and there's noticeable deliberation in how he seems unwilling to toe that line at the moment — but he moves one of his hands against noa's neck, sliding his fingers down to rest around the left side, curling his fingertips to press in slightly, as if mirroring where the rose tattoos on his own neck are. he doubts noa is particularly sensitive here, but he's curious if he'll react at all; the neck is a delicate area, after all. ]
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only as it happens does a recollection play of when the same fingers pressed into the rose tattoo, as he pulled away from devouring kaiser's mouth in their last bout. it wasn't pleasant to watch, and it doesn't particularly feel the same way here. his mind sends a false alarm about being strangled that he bats immediately, less it distract him. noise built from instinctual fears inherited over generations. kaiser wouldn't hurt him - not like that anyway.
noa steels himself from making any move that would suggest he doesn't want them there. then he counters by crawling his fingers down, carefully feeling for the hem of his shirt, then tucking and sliding them up. he teases up the waistline and curls into the abominable region, blindly mapping out the muscles that compromise his core, continuing to stoke the shared heat in the kiss. he wants to split kaiser's attention, make it harder to know what to focus on.
he's always had an appreciation for a physically fit form, though isn't crude about it like a certain brit. for him, it's knowing how much effort and time has been put into the process that makes it satisfying to feel and name each muscle with clinical care from his fingers. it applies to himself as much as others. ]
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truth be told, there's nothing particularly remarkable about kaiser's physique in and of itself. he's in very much in shape, obviously, but there are even players on the youth team who are more built than him and whom kaiser can't win against in pure strength, nor does he try to — what's remarkable is the way that kaiser uses his physique, efficiently and conscientiously, and the fact that he's very clearly thought about how to train to build up his natural strengths in a balanced way. kaiser isn't particularly proud of it, because he's not proud of anything he attributes to what was passed down to him, but that won't stop kaiser from stretching up, the muscles in his core naturally tensing to showboat a bit. he's not that sensitive, it'll take more than that to get a reaction out of him — at least, that's the impression he'd like to give off.
in the same stretching motion, he also tilts his face up, pulling away — reduce the amount of noise to concentrate on what's important, isn't that what noa preaches? for a moment, it probably seems like kaiser is going to say something unnecessary. perhaps something like, what, are you going to give me workout tips in the middle of this? — but after opening his mouth slightly as if to say something, his expression instead pulls into a decidedly unearned smirk. yes, yes, he knows noa thinks he talks too damn much! that's on purpose! he can be perfectly restrained when he wants to be, which is why he keeps his mouth shut and lets his hand trail from noa's neck to his chest because if they're doing this, then he wants to shamelessly grope at and feel up noa's pecs too... in some mix of making a concession and making a suggestion, though, he'll bare his neck for noa. it's definitely bait, but could be the kind worth going for: kaiser presumes noa has not remained ignorant to kaiser's tendency to touch his own neck at times. ]
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he does like the hand feeling him up, though his pecs are toned muscle with little fat to really squeeze at. its the friction that can rile him up more than any particular region of his body. whether kaiser can figure that out is on him. noa prefers a discovery approach to understanding what his partners like, then draw it out of them with slow and precise care. it's why he keeps his eyes on kaiser's face as he continues to let his hand wander, using the curve of his nail to trace around the stretched muscle, identifying it, then moving to the next without rush. he's deliberately avoiding going further down, which leads his fingers sans thumb to map upward to tease the solar plexus. detached and surveying what he's working with, for now.
as for the neck? well he sees the bait and he's not uninterested, but he doesn't want to lose sight of kaiser's face. it's tempting but a distraction from the current objective. this close up the sharp azure blue of the rose threatens to ensnare his eyes if he doesn't keep locked on and exert a touch of willpower to do so. still, the way his eyes are initially lured in gives away his interest. he knows kaiser won't miss it. whether he picked it up from his training in the club or the time he's spent under his wing, noa knows how vigilant he is of even minute shifts in body language.
there are things he knows well about kaiser, things he wants to know but knows it isn't his place to pry, and things he wants to cultivate an understanding of. he wants these things in part because they're necessary and in part because he does like kaiser. you have to care about your rivals to someday best them. ]
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this exchange is deceptively slow-paced and light-fingered, but kaiser understands there is a crucial intensity to it that stops him from acting too haphazardly. the smirk melts off of his face as he stares back — the fact that kaiser at base has a restrained and severe personality rather than being a natural showboat isn't exactly difficult to figure out after watching him long enough, especially during those moments of pressure when it's hard to hide your true nature. he's not going to bother putting the energy towards putting up pretenses when he's got enough to juggle at the moment.
as for this round: kaiser notes that noa's gaze is drawn away for a moment, then gives away not long afterwards a wary shifting of his shoulders as noa's hand moves towards his solar plexus. there's something telling about the fact that this happens a heartbeat before noa's actually touched around his mid-abdomen — it's one of the places on the body that kaiser instinctively wants to safeguard, knowing very well that one well-placed blow there could be a huge mistake. kaiser sighs, briefly but sharply, more at himself than anything else, and then detours to grab noa by the wrist and press noa's hand into his own body. it serves two purposes — the tight, uncompromising grasp he uses is a signal of how much much pressure he wants to feel against himself too, but it's also to show he's certainly not scared of noa touching him anywhere, because what is he going to do, segue into knocking the wind out of kaiser in the middle of this? and what if kaiser might be into that too?? ahah???
he won't say anything, because now kaiser feels like he'd lose against his self-imposed rules if he resorts to words. but he won't let go until noa starts putting more strength into his touch, because kaiser can't get much enjoyment out of it until he does. it'd be even better for him if it hurt a little, honestly, but he is not going to open that can of worms here and now. ]
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kaiser was born and raised in strife and this is one of few things noa knows they have in common. through a pinch of luck their paths crossed and noa navigated it into a collision. however, noa has little interest in the superficial elements they share in their past - his interest is always forward, never back. he wants to see kaiser break, reconstruct himself from the shattered fragments, and come back stronger with the visible cracks. he wants to see if kaiser can keep fighting no matter how many times it happens. no theory is perfect on the first round - you must test, test, test, and keep testing even after you've proven it.
noa won't dismiss this challenge because he has no desire to insult kaiser. they aren't equals, but he respects kaiser in his own way. so he begins to apply pressure. first with the heel of his palm, then tensing his fingers and applying it with the tips of his fingers. he mimics it from the brief memory of when kaiser pressed into his own neck, waiting to see what it brings out of him. would it be painful or pleasurable? will it be neither and something else noa can't imagine yet. even he isn't sure and that excites him, chest tightening in anticipation. ]
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kaiser's breathing is steady, but a touch slower and deeper than usual as he looks at noa — as always, kaiser is carefully judging the distance between him and what he wants to do. it's not the gaze of an apex predator, because kaiser has never identified with that, but a predator lower on the food chain. he has to be careful, in case he gets eaten up by making himself vulnerable overextending, but he can't afford to forego any chances to eat either. shall he make a move to escalate or continue offering himself up and following noa's pace?
it takes him a few seconds to consider this; as he does so, he loosens his grip on noa, idly rubbing the pad of his thumb against the inside of his wrist. his instincts are telling him to hold back and wait so that he doesn't get taken off guard while his attention is still as focused as it is — and he did say that he doesn't bite until provoked first, so kaiser supposes he should keep his word. instead of pushing, then, he pulls at noa's shoulder as he leans back carefully: he shall permit noa the honor of laying him down on the bed. ]
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noa saw this quality in him the first time he observed him play in the youth league. the club invited him to watch and provide feedback on the players during a finals match, to determine who was worth investing and cultivating for the main squad in the future. kaiser was unquestionably the most impressive, ness in second but carried by linking his plays to him. it was a shock to learn he had materialized out of nowhere, likely only playing a couple years at that point. noa took it as a sign.
this too is a sign. noa permits kaiser to guide them down, his hand firmly pressing down at the pace of the lean and legs shifting so that he towers over kaiser as head meets pillow. like this he turns from sniper to surgeon, clinically evaluating over the operating table but not yet ready to make the first incision. he imagines his eyes cold and pupils dilated, inhuman gold irises assessing. then, he dips his upper body. slow enough that it can be caught for a second, fast enough to not permit a reaction. the press on kaiser's chest turns to a pin, elbow bending out as noa goes for kaiser's mouth-
-then feints to his neck, digging his teeth into the center of the blue rose. ]
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"look, that's noel noa and the vice-captains," ness had murmured, tugging at kaiser's sleeve and discreetly pointing. kaiser had sluggishly looked over, mostly to humor ness's excitement, expecting to have to ask which one, exactly, is noa — but it had been obvious through atmosphere alone. the kaiser back then would have been visibly so perplexed if somebody had told him he would end up in this situation someday.
as it is now, kaiser lays back, lifting a leg up to adjust and give space. noa's eyes are dissecting him like he's a practice cadaver, but kaiser's response to that is to restrain a smirk, though the corner of his mouth still pulls up. and why not? it's a little funny that this is happening in soccer prison in a different country and the warden gave the best in the world a bed that compares to those in the youth dorms back in munich. also, he's not normal and is overly conscious of being looked at in general, so noa's surgical surveying of him doesn't sink in properly — such is how it goes when he fed himself almost entirely by stealing for the majority of his life.
this combined with noa's hand on his chest leaves him more unguarded than he ideally would've been when noa makes his move. kaiser tilts his head up, which incidentally bares his neck again — when kaiser does his replay of this, he'll have to admit, an excellent move on noa's part, but he's not upset over it in the moment. the sound he makes when noa puts his teeth to skin is more of a breathless laugh than anything else, before he hooks his arm around noa's upper back, fingernails curling aggressively into the muscle where the neckline meets the back. he likes this a little, but he wants to be eaten up properly if he must get eaten up at all. ]
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