( he's probably never even seen most of them in person, because he just makes giraud throw all of them out. it's not like he has any use for chocolates? well, he lets giraud keep some, if he wants... which is very merciful of him, he thinks. )
[ ew he doesn't care about sae's childhood promises to his younger brother, things you said under your brother complex don't count in normal society. ]
ok you do that and then i get ness to murder them so youre not a liar and you even get their money and property out of it
kind of a bonus because then i get to marry a hot black widow
[ oh ok. even better, then he doesn't have to be concerned about whether this fucks up family gatherings! ]
probably depends on how his impulse control is doing at the moment of, to be entirely honest with you does it matter, though do you not have the confidence you can win in a life or death confrontation against alexis ness, sae?
nah this is after hes killed your ex cuz i dont think he would get physical with it unless its personal so itd probably be poisoning or some other indirect methodology thats relatively easier to get away with
[ NOT that kaiser would EVER call ANYBODY his BESTIE but ness is kind of his bestie so he knows how his little attack doggy thinks and works. ]
fine then he can have a weapon of your choice so he isnt like completely helpless because that makes it too onesided
ok fine how about this: - he has a weapon (physical) of your choice that isnt useless - his bloodlust is nerfed because he is thinking about how id probably be pissed/sad/upset you died BEFORE i could marry you - on top of all that there is a 50/50 chance he will get mentally stunned with guilt
[ they might be so fucked up in their heads but in the end, sometimes they are just normal teenage boys who have a lot of opinions about power scaling. ]
do you just... have a machete lying around, sae?? also dont try and pass yourself as a frail maiden
though ill give you that i think ness has higher physical stats that doesnt necessarily matter all that much bc i think your wincon isnt beating him in a fight, its successfully getting out of that situation so you could also outsmart him or use situational advantage
[ does kaiser think a lot about what he would do if things escalated into a crisis situation? maybe. ]
True. My real strength lies in quick adaptability. I might be disadvantaged in an outright fight, but I'm giving myself pretty good chances of escaping.
well ok then when you fulfill your childhood promise youd better invest in a machete
also: you are not TOTALLY a frail maiden
[ he knows that about sae. yeah. ]
see? i think you would be fine tbh if anything the machete might not help much because if you have to use it then youre already in a disadvantaged situation maybe just invest in always having pepper spray nearby
[ he should not... be so into this conversation...... it's making him seem like a normal 18 year old. ]
what kind of a frail maiden can even handle a machete in the first place
[ you are apologizing because you just set me up to look even worse. ]
also it isnt rape if you enjoy it but if you are SOOOO worried about it then just divorce your childhood fiancé asap, if they even exist, and remarry me immediately it will simply not be a problem then
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how many gifts didnt end up in the trash or being given elsewhere?
[ oh ok in that case kaiser has ONE competition but lbr he's more marriageable. ]
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...
"Satsuko."
( did he just say a random name?
yeah. )
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oh?
and how does miss satsuko sign her name?
what gift did she give you? did you like it?
what does she look like?
im scoping out my competition
[ that last statement is to preempt something to the effect of "and why do you care". ]
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What is this, 20 questions?
Don't worry, you're still prettier than her.
( dwbi kitten ❤️️ )
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She's just not my type, you know.
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so my competition is looking pretty slim, then
and i think i clear all other candidates, easy
[ this is not saying much because (gestures at the rest of the blue lock cast) but STILL ]
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What if I told you I accidentally agreed to a marriage when I was 13 and have to keep my word?
( hypothetical situation? )
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ok you do that
and then i get ness to murder them so youre not a liar and you even get their money and property out of it
kind of a bonus because then i get to marry a hot black widow
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Oh. Okay.
I'm fine with that.
I'm sure your dog's actually capable of murder, too, but if I were to guess, it'd be me he'd be going for first.
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probably depends on how his impulse control is doing at the moment of, to be entirely honest with you
does it matter, though
do you not have the confidence you can win in a life or death confrontation against alexis ness, sae?
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Do I have a knife in this hypothetical scenario?
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but to be fair so does ness, however there is a 50% chance hes mentally stunned due to taking in the magnitude of his actions
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Also, wouldn't that realization come after the fact, not during?
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[ NOT that kaiser would EVER call ANYBODY his BESTIE but ness is kind of his bestie so he knows how his little attack doggy thinks and works. ]
fine then he can have a weapon of your choice so he isnt like completely helpless because that makes it too onesided
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Well, I don't want him to have a weapon, because his bloodlust is like, 100% higher than mine, which is a weapon all in itself?
( he NEEDS that knife. )
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- he has a weapon (physical) of your choice that isnt useless
- his bloodlust is nerfed because he is thinking about how id probably be pissed/sad/upset you died BEFORE i could marry you
- on top of all that there is a 50/50 chance he will get mentally stunned with guilt
[ they might be so fucked up in their heads but in the end, sometimes they are just normal teenage boys who have a lot of opinions about power scaling. ]
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Okay, fine.
He can have a box cutter, and I'll have a machete.
( seems fair to him. )
Would his bloodlust be nerfed or fueled by the fact that you want to marry someone else, though?
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you have a knife
also i dont think he cares about marrying me more than he cares about me being pissed/sad/upset so its irrelevant to the matter at hand
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Why can't I have a machete?
My physical stats aren't that high and I don't actually want to kill anyone, unlike your dog.
... mm. If you say so.
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also dont try and pass yourself as a frail maiden
though ill give you that i think ness has higher physical stats that doesnt necessarily matter all that much bc i think your wincon isnt beating him in a fight, its successfully getting out of that situation so you could also outsmart him or use situational advantage
[ does kaiser think a lot about what he would do if things escalated into a crisis situation? maybe. ]
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But acquiring one can't be that hard?
Also, I'm totally a frail maiden.
( when it's convenient to be one, that is. )
True. My real strength lies in quick adaptability.
I might be disadvantaged in an outright fight, but I'm giving myself pretty good chances of escaping.
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also: you are not TOTALLY a frail maiden
[ he knows that about sae. yeah. ]
see? i think you would be fine tbh
if anything the machete might not help much because if you have to use it then youre already in a disadvantaged situation
maybe just invest in always having pepper spray nearby
[ he should not... be so into this conversation...... it's making him seem like a normal 18 year old. ]
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Need one, in fact. For self-defense.
( :) )
How are you going to tell me I'm not a frail maiden then tell me to get pepper spray.
Should I get a rape whistle, too, while I'm at it?
( SORRY )
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[ you are apologizing because you just set me up to look even worse. ]
also it isnt rape if you enjoy it
but if you are SOOOO worried about it then just divorce your childhood fiancé asap, if they even exist, and remarry me immediately
it will simply not be a problem then
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