outplayed | open post / overflow

[ oh, that's so funny in a deeply unfunny sort of way. it's actually pitiful. it just confirms how completely delusional kaiser is right now. or maybe he's only seeing what he wants to see, like staring at an optical illusion instead of your reflection. noa knows immediately who he's alluding to though and he bats away a tiny mean urge to scoff. ]

I told you earlier that my old rival is running Blue Lock. His dream was to be the striker who could win Japan a World Cup. Now he's obsessed with creating that striker to fulfill his dream -- Yoichi Isagi is his avatar for that. Undeniably.

[ there are other strikers in this program, but he's spoken to isagi at length and knows that jin must have handpicked him. the 'heart' of blue lock, who evolves and brings out evolution in others. there's nothing remarkable about him on the surface, but he knows his old war buddy would never invest time into a player he didn't think was worthwhile. that much they have in common. ]

I don't want your idolatry nor your fear. As for trust - I suppose I haven't done much at all to earn it from you. You have mine, for whatever it may be worth.

[ which is nothing he's sure. he trusts kaiser can break through and fight with his ego instead of protecting it. he's always believed kaiser can become his rival, even if he's not there yet. he wants it for both of them. ]

[ kaiser truly is too addled to notice that this assumption doesn't make a lot of sense — that noa only let isagi play that first time because his hand was forced, or that noa rarely actually addresses isagi first, aside from assigning orders to the team as a whole. he's got some shit to go through before he can clear his vision up again, alright. ]

Then go fight with your old rival over custody like the pair of divorcees you apparently are and leave me out of it. He'd choose you if you asked, you know.

[ kaiser's heard all the oohing and ahhing that isagi does over noa — not because he wanted to hear, for the record, but isagi does it unprompted all the time? in the dining hall during meals, in the locker rooms after practice, just walking down the damn hallway. "it's so amazing, being under his guidance," he gushes. "did you see that formation he wants us to practice later? it's the same that the french national team used in the world cup match against—" it makes kaiser want to dry heave being forced to overhear it.

anyways, kaiser so deeply wishes they didn't have to have this conversation while he's sandwiched between noa and the wall and forced onto his side. but he asked for it... ]

... And keep your trust, I don't fucking want it. [ he's dropping his phone onto the bed because he's debating swatting at noa like the horrible angry cat that he is. but no, he can restrain himself, he can only imagine that would get him doubled retribution, if not more. ] If you want to give me something, then give me a damn break.

[ hah, yes, isagi would wouldn't he? but no. he doesn't want successors for one thing. for another, isagi is too... ordinary. he grew up in comfort and stability, loved by his parents with a strong support system, and the admiration that shines in his eyes is deeply childish. ah, but kaiser did light up a fire in him thanks to that ridiculous stunt he pulled during the introductory assessment. then isagi approached him with his desire to defeat kaiser, and noa saw he could add fuel to that fire. neither of them see how he's quietly contributed to their feud without having to do much at all.

in short - isagi is a strong player but too emotional. he isn't ready to throw everything away to win.

kaiser though? kaiser didn't have much at all growing up. all that he's gained so far is extremely precarious in nature. he could lose everything and have nothing to fall back on. noa was the same way. that isn't why he's interested in kaiser, but it would be a lie to say it isn't a factor. the foolish sentimentality of seeing yourself in the eyes of another.

but! the fact that kaiser is asking for a break? the nerve. ]

Oh, am I mistaken? Or wasn't this movie night meant to be your break? It was your idea. [ surely that was the idea right? this didn't happen because he was incorrectly messaged, right??? ] Maybe you should have left when you had the chance instead of rolling on my bed like a spoiled beast.

[ kaiser getting fed up and saying to give him a break was almost another tragic mistake, but noa has left a vulnerability open and kaiser is going to jump on it like a starved little street rat encountered with a bit of stale bread, as he is very familiar with— ]

I couldn't take a proper break. I was too preoccupied noticing that you were clearly not paying attention. [ this absolutely did not happen because noa was incorrectly messaged!! ] And getting chocolate dripped on me and whatnot.

[ how could he ever properly relax under such conditions... the sensitive soul that michael kaiser is... maybe noa should have watched the movie properly! then kaiser wouldn't have been forced to roll around in bed like a cat pissed off that he didn't get the treat he was expecting. ]

[ so, once more, it's his fault. of course it is! no one has ever in history thought of this. noa relaxes the tight squeeze on kaiser's hand, though doesn't break the hold all together, and sighs quietly. ]

Why do you think I couldn't focus? You took up space on my lap like an unruly animal. Frankly, I think bothering me was your real plan.

Some people would kill to experience what you did. [ like ness. and... well, ness. there are probably some kaiser girlies out there who would too, but that's different. ] Putting that aside, I did want to watch the movie... properly, that is.

[ stop doubting his sincerity! honestly, very arrogant of noa to assume everything is about him!! being a bother was just a nice side bonus. kaiser yanks his hand away and flops to the bed, boneless and getting his hair everywhere now. if it's weird to put the entire side of your face into somebody else's sheets: no it's not. ]

Is your focus so easily broken?

[ "like ness" - no, he won't say it. he's sure they're both thinking it. he lets the hold break when kaiser yanks, the desire to fight draining out of him. ]

Is my focus broken when you go out of your way to break my focus? I wonder. [ the results may be shocking! ] I made an honest effort to watch because I promised you the time. You pushed boundaries on purpose. You're still doing it now.

[ as he further nestles into his bed. washing the sheets is going to be a lost cause. ]

Do you think that everything I do is to annoy you? I'm genuinely l... [ "lazy"... but wait, should he say that so blithely? it's true that kaiser identifies with being a natural lazyass — he chose the grindset mindset because he had to, not because he relishes the idea of being on it.

he feels like noa will not be impressed by kaiser's self-aware self-assessment, though, so let him change what he was going to say: ] Tired. You literally set my training regimen, so you should know this.

[ kaiser is choosing to ignore the fact that it's objectively weird and boundary-pushing to lay down in the bed of your older team captain/coach/whatever. he doesn't care about that. so it doesn't matter! ]

I don't think you actually care that much about this boundary bullshit either. Don't conveniently use society's norms only when it benefits you.

I think you like getting a rise out of me when you see an opportunity.

[ granted, this is not unique to kaiser. a lot of people in his life try to bait reactions out of him. he's come to understand this ribbing, playful or otherwise, is a consequence of being a stoic. they want to poke the tin man and see if he's really human underneath the steel shell. ]

But fine. It isn't about boundaries. I want to know your intentions. Are you trying to act provocative or are you dense?

[ should he just be more blunt and ask "are you hitting on me"? he doesn't think that's what this is but what else is he supposed to think? for a man of logic like noa, kaiser is simply too irrational to comprehend at times. this level of familiarity is... he isn't accustomed to it. ]

[ does he want to get a rise out of noa, though? kaiser doesn't have a clear answer to that in mind, honestly. a part of kaiser prefers for noa to remain a robot in front of him, but another part is deeply fascinated by the metaphorical beast within. as for the human in noel noa? if that exists, kaiser is not interested! ]

What kind of binary is that? [ "hey, do you have whorish tendencies or are you just doopid?" is that the angle here? kaiser doesn't understand what is going on here anymore, which is all his own fault... ] Do I have to pick one and only one? Provocative, then.

[ that's what his reputation is like in the first place, being a bit of a provocateur in general — who else would introduce themselves to blue lock by immediately picking a fight but michael kaiser? still, kaiser likes to think he usually keeps his provocations from toeing over the line, because the risks that kaiser takes are (generally) calculated, and he is (usually) good at math. but he's so monumentally bad at reading noa that it can't be help that he's hard to read, he doesn't know what he's doing either. ]

You're welcome to correct me at any time.

[ he doesn't mind his perception being challenged if he's so far off the mark. this largely applies to anything outside of active gameplay, where noa is confident he has the best read of the unfolding events. though even blue lock has been challenging him on that front to a degree. it's certainly been more interesting than he anticipated.

so fine, kaiser is being provocative. even if it's within a binary, he can deal with that. ]

Next question then: are you intending to stay here tonight or no?

Is it up to me? Then, sure, but can you ask in a more inviting way?

[ kaiser knows that wasn't actually an invitation. noa's fault for phrasing it like that, in his opinion. realistically, kaiser was not aiming for that... but that's because he's a good german boy who would have to leave to brush his teeth before he goes to bed, and noa would surely not let him back in afterwards. oral hygiene takes precedence... but it's close, kaiser will admit. ]

[ the nerve of his favorite white boy. he needs to destroy him. this is great fuel for the rivalry he's building up, the one in his head and the one that he wants to be real if kaiser can have the mental breakdown that makes him a better player.

anyway- ]

No.

It's my space. You should ask me for permission, not the other way around.

[ very interesting, kaiser notes. so it's not the end result that is causing noa to deny him, but the means. ]

Is there any way that I can ask where I have a chance of getting what I want?

[ because if this has a 0% hit rate to begin with... well, kaiser will try anyways, because he enjoys an impossible task so much. but he'll take any free hints if he thinks he can get them! ]

You know the deal. Explain why I should let you stay, rationally, and don't bother with emotional appeals.

[ he's curious to see where kaiser can go with this. noa is far more inclined to say no and force him out, but he wants to see if kaiser can give him a reason to not. he's not opposed to being surprised. ]

[ ah, yes. what else did kaiser expect. ]

I'll give you an answer, but after I do, will you explain why you have any rational reason to not let me stay?

[ he may or may not be buying time to cook something up in his wonderful, unique mind. but also, kaiser feels like it might actually be difficult for noa to come up with an answer that isn't also compromising — kaiser already made noa agree that conventional social norms shouldn't matter, and as for the matter of space... well, he feels like noa is comfy enough with how much space he's been given, or else he would've moved already? ]

If a stray dog was sitting on your doorstep, but you didn't need to open the door in the first place, then why shoo it away? [ this makes more sense from kaiser's perspective, as a stray dog liker. ]

Mhm. Fine.

[ it's a trade off then. can kaiser come up with an argument that noa can't refute? he's not unreasonable, but he's certainly skeptical. he's already allowed kaiser a lot of leeway tonight, more than he ever should have, so it's time to start pushing back. ]

Strays make demands on the basis of being stray. They're wild animals who depend on mercy, seeking a source of food. I wouldn't shoo them away -- I simply wouldn't give them anything. They leave on their own in time.

[ wrong, strays are wonderful independent creatures that kaiser likes so much... but he doesn't feel like going to bat for his taste in animals at the moment, especially because kaiser has finished cooking up his answer. he had thought about arguing that it would improve his morale, which could only help the current state of his game, but he's certain that this would not compel noa. no, kaiser's pretty sure that he needs to continue being audacious with this. ]

At this point, if you deny me, then I'm going to assume the reason you're saying no is that you're concerned allowing it will be... personally compromising for you. [ to put it one way. but of course, the kicker: ] And I will change my behavior accordingly.

[ ... to make noa's quality of daily life worse, of course. this might also be slightly spitefully in direct response to noa asking him if he's being provocative or dumb — has noa considered that maybe kaiser will take that as a cue, not a warning? ]

[ the morale argument would not sway him because a. emotional so denied, and b. noa wants the morale to get worse. but yes, kaiser has the right idea on this situation. he's never going to say a word about this to anyone, but will kaiser? he doesn't think so, but he senses the lack of confidence in his own appraisal. kaiser is volatile and capricious, sometimes easy to predict and less so otherwise. ]

What changes will you make? Provide details.

[ he's not going to make assumptions. he needs more information to make a determination. ]

[ for the record, no, kaiser would not say anything, because if people started thinking that he's noel noa's little bitch boy, then kaiser would have to do something drastic and unnecessary over it. but he's happy to leave noa guessing on the matter, and does realize that one of his few advantages is that noa hasn't been able to predict his volatility perfectly in the past. ]

If you stop trapping me here, then I can even give you an example. If you're not scared?

[ is that too obvious of a provocation? if it is, then kaiser thinks that noa shouldn't have said that kaiser tries to act provocative! you reap what you sow, and noa should keep that in mind as he attempts to nurture the inherent insanity in kaiser's mind. ]

[ bait used to be believable... this is very obviously a trap. but of what sort? sometimes the only way to move forward is to allow the trap to go off, while being cautious enough to not get caught.

there's a deliberate pause as he feigns consideration of a decision he's already made, letting seconds stretch on. then he lifts up and swings his legs off the bed, mattress sinking as he takes a seated position. noa twists in spot to stay tuned for kaiser's next move now that he's free, his expression neutral even as his gaze betrays interest.

no need to say anything. he's passed the ball willingly, so now let's see what happens. ]

[ ah, sweet freedom... honestly, the best move here would probably be to leave, but kaiser doesn't know how to quit once he's in it. so instead, he also sits up and scootches nice and close up to noa, the side of the arm closer to him brushing up against him. noa may have guessed this about kaiser after their unhinged road trip, but kaiser considers one of his acquired skills the ability to judge the distance he should keep between himself and others to make his point — there is a deliberate intent to not cling, but to make his presence close, known, and unable to be easily ignored. noa can, as he pleases, imagine receiving this treatment in general from now on, including and especially in front of others. ]

So, I think it's your turn to answer now.

[ is there a rational reason to not allow it? well, there are plenty, actually, but that doesn't mean it'll convince kaiser. he leans in a little, pretending to be listening attentively, tilting his head forward in a way that has a few of the longer strands of his hair falling against noa's shoulder... again, noa can imagine this becoming the default distance kaiser will be keeping between them as he pleases.

to up the ante unnecessarily: but without leaning away, he reaches up to unzip the training jacket he's wearing about halfway down, to expose a bit of bare collarbone and shoulder. it's not a strange amount of skin for kaiser to show — if anything, it's the amount he shows in front of most other people, but kaiser is usually literally fairly buttoned-up in front of noa. ]

[ part of being an analytical cyborg that processes dozens of details every second, piling micro-decision on micro-decision up, is recognizing when you're tipping into overthink. when your thoughts become a distraction and noise to the present events, you need to discard and reset. that's what noa experiences in an instant when kaiser starts coming in close. is he being baited or is this real? no, that's the wrong question. regardless of why kaiser is doing this, noa has to decide if he'll allow it.

so that's what kaiser meant earlier - he's given his answer and now it's noa's turn. is there a reason he shouldn't allow this? plenty. he only needs to rub two braincells together to come up with a lengthy list to not proceed further. even so, he isn't pushing kaiser back and ending the night. maybe he wants to see if kaiser can actually live up to how shameless he's acting.

he keeps his eyes on kaiser's face, not giving any attention to the zip-down and what it promises. noa is quiet for a beat, intentionally, then lets out a quiet scoff. ]

I don't think you know what you're getting into here.

[ like, of course he knows, but does he know? noa doesn't think so. he remembers how fast kaiser was overwhelmed the last time they tangled. it won't be worth his time if they try again and it ends so fast. ]

And I think you're getting ahead of yourself, actually. Is this so different from how I treat other people?

[ this is the guy who introduced himself to blue lock by putting his hand to isagi's chin and then grabbing him by both wrists, and he gets handsy with ness on the regular — but ness knows that he's stuck in the cuck chair forever, so maybe that shouldn't be allowed as a point of reference. if anything, kaiser simply treats noa with a modicum of respect more than everybody else by being restrained in front of him.

so put altogether, kaiser is undoubtedly being forward relative to his usual behavior — and he's using plausible deniability to insist that this is "normal" for him, for a certain definition of normal. does kaiser know what he's getting into? he doesn't have an answer to that either! ]

It's not as if I clambered right into your lap or something, relax. And answer the question already, or I'm going to start thinking you don't have an answer.

[ provocative or dense? kaiser can act provocative and dense all at once, alright. ]

I'm not other people.

[ of course kaiser keeps himself in check when they're together - he's noel noa, the "world's best", the "captain", the "insert title foisted upon him" here. whether it's out of respect or an understanding that he's an authority figure, there's a sense of what behaviors they should and shouldn't engage in. a boundary, in other words. they've crossed a lot of boundaries though, here and other times. this isn't even the worst instance so far (though that may well change at this rate...)

but he's not unaware of kaiser's penchant for acting a bit like a peacock, spreading his feathers and making a scene to posture his superiority. flashy and ruthless in equal measure to strike maximum damage into the enemy's heart. not noa's style in the slightest. he plays and scores because that's what he does for a living, and his rivals drop like flies because they can't keep up.

he doesn't want hollow kaiser out before he's gotten everything he wants out of him. ]

What was the question again - 'do I have a reason to not let you stay'? [ plenty. but he's going to go for the biggest one- ] Top of mind: you're not ready for this. I don't think you can handle it. And you might feel offended, but that's my assessment.

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