[ he just bats that hand away like he would an annoying fly, still looking at his phone. if this is at all a compromising position, he doesn't care at the moment. the do not disturb sign is still up and his office doesn't have any cctv surveillance, so he will pretend this didn't happen tomorrow. ]
Oh, but I want us to win. And I can't trust you to do it, so I need to step in. You're a burden. You're boring me.
Mm. Does saying that make you feel good about yourself? [ kaiser is NOT falling for that bait... at this point, maybe this is more a battle of endurance. who will be unable to resist the temptation to take the bait first?
anyways, kaiser is a lot of things, but "boring" is not one of them. of that, he is extremely certain. ]
Relieving stress is necessary every now and again, I guess. Alright, then keep going...
[ he's making a show of listening carefully, propping his head up on a hand and tilting his head in a way that exposes even more of the blue rose tattoo on his neck than usual. he's still clutching his phone with his other hand, but sure, letterboxd can wait. ]
[ he's still checking emails as he speaks, starting from the bottom and working his way up. his team at least knows he hates reading blocks of text. the faster to the point, the better. ]
I brought the best u-20 players our club has and you're all dropping off. The Blue Lock players get better and you all get worse. And when I give you my time, you throw my good will back at me.
What I don't understand is why. Is it because it's me? Or do you think you're above it all?
[ excuse him?! kaiser wants to know the answer to those questions too. in fact, kaiser is pretty sure there is nobody else who is (and is entitled to be) more pissed off about the massive falloff of the u-20 bastard münchen players. he has already given grim something to really despair over, and has assured gesner that he will not know the touch of a woman until kaiser's anger has subsided — the list goes on. getting plotsagi'd is terrible work...
also, kaiser does have an answer to this — why didn't noa expect players to struggle with a brand new system after spending years embedding a different one into their brains? of course that wouldn't go well? also, when you start off from a worse position, catching up is easier than when you're trying to make improvements at the top — but kaiser is still refusing to take the bait and wants to continue playing up this role that nobody has asked him to take up. ]
Now, how could it possibly be because of you? After all, you are so very sincerely mentoring everybody with their best interests in mind, are you not?
[ noa is... isn't he? :pleading: ]
Poor you and how so very misunderstood you are. [ he's trying to not snicker... ] If you want, I can bring you ice cream again tomorrow to soothe your mental ails.
[ ah, so it's his fault. now why didn't he think of that before? he's only set up training regiments, pushed all the players in-between matches to prove their worth, and rewarded those who proved their outcomes. at the start there were hardly any of blue lock's players on the field, and now they make up the bulk of the line-up. of course that's on him, and not on prideful players who think they have no room to evolve.
it isn't about preferential treatment, it's just what the data points as the correct approach. there's no room for emotion. nobody wants to be challenged these days is the only conclusion he can reach.
as for kaiser- ]
Do you need mentorship? [ his eyes dart to the corner, then grabs kaiser's tattooed hand by the wrist and lifts it in a loose hold in-between them. ] Must I hold your hand like an attentive parent through glorified exhibition matches? Or are you still treating this like a joke?
[ kaiser wants to be offended at the implication that he is still treating blue lock like a joke when he is hard carrying the remaining german contingent at this point, but he supposes he kind of asked for that one, since he is currently electing to be a facetious menace instead of sincere. but is it not a bit cringe for him to talk about how he wants to (metaphorically) tear isagi's throat out on the pitch and eat him up like a slab of raw meat? yes? no? well. ]
Who knows, nobody's ever tried that approach on me. [ the answer is 'no', though, kaiser doesn't need to experience that to know he would hate it. ] Is this considered an attentive hand-hold?
[ it's tempting to reciprocate with every bit of his 80kg grip strength, but kaiser will refrain. he will squeeze noa's hand, though, as if testing whether he's going to be allowed to continue pushing across the line. ]
[ why, because noa has been giving attention to isagi? that kid is sharp, and hungry to advance, but he's blinded by admiration and emotion. he's missing the element that he knows kaiser has but has yet to uncover. he sees what's inside him, a true beast trapped in a fragile cage, and he wants to help him break it. noa wants to fight the most vicious version of kaiser that can be found.
his hand is squeezed and noa squeezes back, matching the intensity in equal measure while knowing he can make it tighter. his eyes sharpen in the way they do when he's staring down eleven enemies, ready to dismantle their positions one by one to score. ]
You have my attention. What do you want from it?
[ (the truth he won't say yet is that kaiser was his focus from the moment they entered this facility. he doesn't care about anyone else on this team but him.) ]
Yeah. [ well, no. in fact, kaiser prefers it when noa doesn't pay too much attention to him most of the time, but kaiser has to say that just to get this uncalled for jab in: ] That's the thing about guys who pay a lot of attention to teenagers more than ten years their junior, you know? So easily distracted by a new young thing.
[ kaiser smiles horribly again. somebody who knows him well enough could probably imagine him practicing this one in a mirror — confident yet restrained, at somebody else's expense. he won't squeeze noa's hand any harder, but he does push his pinky and ring fingers between noa's for that saucy interlacing, rubbing the pad of his thumb against the muscular part of noa's palm, right underneath the thumb. he probably saw this in a movie or something, noa shouldn't read into the implications too much unless he wants to really delve into how broken kaiser came out of the metaphorical box.
also, kaiser will be sure to have a thorough cringe over this later, when certain reveals come out. ]
What does somebody want when they have a trophy? Holding it is the point, not the means.
Jealously, Kaiser? And here I thought you loathed my existence.
[ of course the jab is uncalled for, but he knows it's a cheap shot and treats it as such. it doesn't do anything to him when it's so categorically ridiculous. he feels the same way when kaiser laces their fingers and massages his palm, watching the motion the way someone observes a mildly intriguing museum exhibit. it's happening to him and isn't. there's the physical reaction of his skin being touched and not a spark comes out of it. he feels nothing.
still, if nothing else, his attention is on kaiser. his phone is screen down on his chest, though his fingers are on the back ready to bring it up at a moment. ]
I'm not of the same mind as you. Trophies are just shiny trinkets, worthless once gained. I play for greater things. You should too, if you really plan on competing against me in the future.
Greater things? [ a scoff— ] I think we both play for baser things.
[ to assert "i exist" to everybody else in the world — because if he doesn't win, there is no point in something called "michael kaiser" existing. he imagines this is close to how noa feels about it as well.
his will to survive is stronger than anybody else's in blue lock — others have their own reasons to seek victory, and kaiser wouldn't necessarily say that his desire for victory itself is intrinsically the strongest, but he's confident that nobody else is as desperate to simply have the right to continue existing as he is — and that noa shouldn't disagree with that. ]
Don't make this sound like a noble endeavor. [ he digs his fingers into the inside of noa's palm, squeezing hard; there will probably be marks from his fingernails left behind. ] Or like there's something that I have to be grateful to you for.
[ or in other words, be fake and unnecessary with kaiser, and he will happily return the favor. sure, he started this, but kaiser has never denied being a massive hypocrite. ]
[ noa would argue there is no greater purpose than to assert one's existence. kaiser and him have very different things to prove through their play, but it comes down to that same root, the same point of origin. only those who come from nothing, and were told and reminded every day they would never be anything, understand how quickly they could lose everything. even more so in athletics, football or otherwise, where you're loved one day and scorned the next. it's why noa never cared about how his team did more than himself. if the team won, it would be because of him. if they lost, the record would show he did everything right.
kaiser digs his nails in and noa keeps his end of the squeeze firm as if it didn't happen. he feels 'pain' as a sensation and absorbs it. acknowledge, and move on. ]
Noble? No. You and I don't play for anyone but ourselves. That's how it should be. [ the ones who get the furthest are the ones with the greatest egos. there's nothing honorable about being a football player. a meaningless emotional concept. ] And as for gratitude? From you? I'm not holding my breath.
But by the time I'm done with you, you'll understand that the path you're on was built by my hands. That I showed you the way forward. And you won't be grateful, but you will know.
[ something in that phrasing visibly pisses kaiser off, based off of the way that his expression contorts. if it wasn't obvious, he'll make it clear enough right after— ]
Don't get things wrong. You might have started this, but I'm the one who says when it ends, you piece of shit master. [ when noa's done with kaiser? wrong! when kaiser is done with noa. ] Building the path for others to overtake you on is just the natural course of things, don't get all prideful about something like this.
[ kaiser will not be letting that happen to himself, though. kaiser wants to go the toni kroos route of transferring from b*yern m*nich to re*l m*drid, earning himself the ire of germany in the process, and then retiring at his peak so nobody can say they beat him at his best. he is NOT going to be paving the way, thanks very much; if he's ray dark's special investment, then he's going to pay out when his value is maxed out and not feel like he owes the world of football a single thing.
at least, that's what kaiser thinks in the moment. what he'll actually do? who knows — certainly not kaiser himself. ]
[ he ignores that little jab, as that's absolutely not what he wants and never will, because he has to make one thing crystal clear: ]
You don't get to decide when we're done. We're not equals.
[ not yet. kaiser has that potential though, an ego to rival his, and noa wants it out. but he can't do it, not on his own. only kaiser can free himself and bring about his evolution. all noa can do is create the means by which it occurs.
he meant it when he said he was getting bored though. he's so bored of nothing having anyone real to threaten him. loki is the closest and what a dull joke that is, an upstart accelerating through his career because he was a born cheater. it doesn't inspire him. he feels nothing from it.
he's so sick of not feeling anything. he tightens the squeeze of their hands, calculated as is the cold and even tone of his derision. ]
You're my experiment. I'm running tests to see if you're worth keeping around. To see if you even have a chance of making it to where I am. You're still frightened though... of what? Tell me.
[ were this coming from anybody else, kaiser would laugh mockingly and tell them to knock it off with this corny shit; coming from noel noa, the words seem shockingly plausible. and how, exactly, is one supposed to react to being told that? is it a little too damaged and unhinged of kaiser to be oddly flattered by being considered noel noa's lab rat? at least his potential is being recognized, and in a way that kaiser can accept about himself. ]
I'm sure as hell not scared of you, if that's what you're getting at. [ kaiser squeezes back, unafraid of pain — but more than that, both confident that his freakish grip strength isn't going to lose and that if noa is telling the truth, then he isn't about to break kaiser's hand in a power play. ] What in the world do I even possibly have to fear?
[ he's not been seeing himself very clearly since entering blue lock, though, because the answer should be so obvious to himself. kaiser still thinks of himself as somebody who has nothing to lose, but has already begun to act otherwise. ]
Let's make one thing clear, though. I don't fear, trust, or idolize you... and I can barely scrape together the willpower to respect you. [ but a real hater recognizes another's accomplishments, so of course, kaiser begrudgingly has to show respect to the greatest in the world. ] If you want to run your shitty experiment, then isn't there clearly a better subject for your purposes?
[ kaiser's incorrect read of the situation is really tragic. he's assuming noa wants a successor, and from his perspective — well, yoichi is right there? ]
[ oh, that's so funny in a deeply unfunny sort of way. it's actually pitiful. it just confirms how completely delusional kaiser is right now. or maybe he's only seeing what he wants to see, like staring at an optical illusion instead of your reflection. noa knows immediately who he's alluding to though and he bats away a tiny mean urge to scoff. ]
I told you earlier that my old rival is running Blue Lock. His dream was to be the striker who could win Japan a World Cup. Now he's obsessed with creating that striker to fulfill his dream -- Yoichi Isagi is his avatar for that. Undeniably.
[ there are other strikers in this program, but he's spoken to isagi at length and knows that jin must have handpicked him. the 'heart' of blue lock, who evolves and brings out evolution in others. there's nothing remarkable about him on the surface, but he knows his old war buddy would never invest time into a player he didn't think was worthwhile. that much they have in common. ]
I don't want your idolatry nor your fear. As for trust - I suppose I haven't done much at all to earn it from you. You have mine, for whatever it may be worth.
[ which is nothing he's sure. he trusts kaiser can break through and fight with his ego instead of protecting it. he's always believed kaiser can become his rival, even if he's not there yet. he wants it for both of them. ]
[ kaiser truly is too addled to notice that this assumption doesn't make a lot of sense — that noa only let isagi play that first time because his hand was forced, or that noa rarely actually addresses isagi first, aside from assigning orders to the team as a whole. he's got some shit to go through before he can clear his vision up again, alright. ]
Then go fight with your old rival over custody like the pair of divorcees you apparently are and leave me out of it. He'd choose you if you asked, you know.
[ kaiser's heard all the oohing and ahhing that isagi does over noa — not because he wanted to hear, for the record, but isagi does it unprompted all the time? in the dining hall during meals, in the locker rooms after practice, just walking down the damn hallway. "it's so amazing, being under his guidance," he gushes. "did you see that formation he wants us to practice later? it's the same that the french national team used in the world cup match against—" it makes kaiser want to dry heave being forced to overhear it.
anyways, kaiser so deeply wishes they didn't have to have this conversation while he's sandwiched between noa and the wall and forced onto his side. but he asked for it... ]
... And keep your trust, I don't fucking want it. [ he's dropping his phone onto the bed because he's debating swatting at noa like the horrible angry cat that he is. but no, he can restrain himself, he can only imagine that would get him doubled retribution, if not more. ] If you want to give me something, then give me a damn break.
[ hah, yes, isagi would wouldn't he? but no. he doesn't want successors for one thing. for another, isagi is too... ordinary. he grew up in comfort and stability, loved by his parents with a strong support system, and the admiration that shines in his eyes is deeply childish. ah, but kaiser did light up a fire in him thanks to that ridiculous stunt he pulled during the introductory assessment. then isagi approached him with his desire to defeat kaiser, and noa saw he could add fuel to that fire. neither of them see how he's quietly contributed to their feud without having to do much at all.
in short - isagi is a strong player but too emotional. he isn't ready to throw everything away to win.
kaiser though? kaiser didn't have much at all growing up. all that he's gained so far is extremely precarious in nature. he could lose everything and have nothing to fall back on. noa was the same way. that isn't why he's interested in kaiser, but it would be a lie to say it isn't a factor. the foolish sentimentality of seeing yourself in the eyes of another.
but! the fact that kaiser is asking for a break? the nerve. ]
Oh, am I mistaken? Or wasn't this movie night meant to be your break? It was your idea. [ surely that was the idea right? this didn't happen because he was incorrectly messaged, right??? ] Maybe you should have left when you had the chance instead of rolling on my bed like a spoiled beast.
[ kaiser getting fed up and saying to give him a break was almost another tragic mistake, but noa has left a vulnerability open and kaiser is going to jump on it like a starved little street rat encountered with a bit of stale bread, as he is very familiar with— ]
I couldn't take a proper break. I was too preoccupied noticing that you were clearly not paying attention. [ this absolutely did not happen because noa was incorrectly messaged!! ] And getting chocolate dripped on me and whatnot.
[ how could he ever properly relax under such conditions... the sensitive soul that michael kaiser is... maybe noa should have watched the movie properly! then kaiser wouldn't have been forced to roll around in bed like a cat pissed off that he didn't get the treat he was expecting. ]
[ so, once more, it's his fault. of course it is! no one has ever in history thought of this. noa relaxes the tight squeeze on kaiser's hand, though doesn't break the hold all together, and sighs quietly. ]
Why do you think I couldn't focus? You took up space on my lap like an unruly animal. Frankly, I think bothering me was your real plan.
Some people would kill to experience what you did. [ like ness. and... well, ness. there are probably some kaiser girlies out there who would too, but that's different. ] Putting that aside, I did want to watch the movie... properly, that is.
[ stop doubting his sincerity! honestly, very arrogant of noa to assume everything is about him!! being a bother was just a nice side bonus. kaiser yanks his hand away and flops to the bed, boneless and getting his hair everywhere now. if it's weird to put the entire side of your face into somebody else's sheets: no it's not. ]
[ "like ness" - no, he won't say it. he's sure they're both thinking it. he lets the hold break when kaiser yanks, the desire to fight draining out of him. ]
Is my focus broken when you go out of your way to break my focus? I wonder. [ the results may be shocking! ] I made an honest effort to watch because I promised you the time. You pushed boundaries on purpose. You're still doing it now.
[ as he further nestles into his bed. washing the sheets is going to be a lost cause. ]
Do you think that everything I do is to annoy you? I'm genuinely l... [ "lazy"... but wait, should he say that so blithely? it's true that kaiser identifies with being a natural lazyass — he chose the grindset mindset because he had to, not because he relishes the idea of being on it.
he feels like noa will not be impressed by kaiser's self-aware self-assessment, though, so let him change what he was going to say: ] Tired. You literally set my training regimen, so you should know this.
[ kaiser is choosing to ignore the fact that it's objectively weird and boundary-pushing to lay down in the bed of your older team captain/coach/whatever. he doesn't care about that. so it doesn't matter! ]
I don't think you actually care that much about this boundary bullshit either. Don't conveniently use society's norms only when it benefits you.
I think you like getting a rise out of me when you see an opportunity.
[ granted, this is not unique to kaiser. a lot of people in his life try to bait reactions out of him. he's come to understand this ribbing, playful or otherwise, is a consequence of being a stoic. they want to poke the tin man and see if he's really human underneath the steel shell. ]
But fine. It isn't about boundaries. I want to know your intentions. Are you trying to act provocative or are you dense?
[ should he just be more blunt and ask "are you hitting on me"? he doesn't think that's what this is but what else is he supposed to think? for a man of logic like noa, kaiser is simply too irrational to comprehend at times. this level of familiarity is... he isn't accustomed to it. ]
[ does he want to get a rise out of noa, though? kaiser doesn't have a clear answer to that in mind, honestly. a part of kaiser prefers for noa to remain a robot in front of him, but another part is deeply fascinated by the metaphorical beast within. as for the human in noel noa? if that exists, kaiser is not interested! ]
What kind of binary is that? [ "hey, do you have whorish tendencies or are you just doopid?" is that the angle here? kaiser doesn't understand what is going on here anymore, which is all his own fault... ] Do I have to pick one and only one? Provocative, then.
[ that's what his reputation is like in the first place, being a bit of a provocateur in general — who else would introduce themselves to blue lock by immediately picking a fight but michael kaiser? still, kaiser likes to think he usually keeps his provocations from toeing over the line, because the risks that kaiser takes are (generally) calculated, and he is (usually) good at math. but he's so monumentally bad at reading noa that it can't be help that he's hard to read, he doesn't know what he's doing either. ]
[ he doesn't mind his perception being challenged if he's so far off the mark. this largely applies to anything outside of active gameplay, where noa is confident he has the best read of the unfolding events. though even blue lock has been challenging him on that front to a degree. it's certainly been more interesting than he anticipated.
so fine, kaiser is being provocative. even if it's within a binary, he can deal with that. ]
Next question then: are you intending to stay here tonight or no?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Oh, but I want us to win. And I can't trust you to do it, so I need to step in. You're a burden. You're boring me.
no subject
anyways, kaiser is a lot of things, but "boring" is not one of them. of that, he is extremely certain. ]
Relieving stress is necessary every now and again, I guess. Alright, then keep going...
[ he's making a show of listening carefully, propping his head up on a hand and tilting his head in a way that exposes even more of the blue rose tattoo on his neck than usual. he's still clutching his phone with his other hand, but sure, letterboxd can wait. ]
no subject
[ he's still checking emails as he speaks, starting from the bottom and working his way up. his team at least knows he hates reading blocks of text. the faster to the point, the better. ]
I brought the best u-20 players our club has and you're all dropping off. The Blue Lock players get better and you all get worse. And when I give you my time, you throw my good will back at me.
What I don't understand is why. Is it because it's me? Or do you think you're above it all?
no subject
also, kaiser does have an answer to this — why didn't noa expect players to struggle with a brand new system after spending years embedding a different one into their brains? of course that wouldn't go well? also, when you start off from a worse position, catching up is easier than when you're trying to make improvements at the top — but kaiser is still refusing to take the bait and wants to continue playing up this role that nobody has asked him to take up. ]
Now, how could it possibly be because of you? After all, you are so very sincerely mentoring everybody with their best interests in mind, are you not?
[ noa is... isn't he? :pleading: ]
Poor you and how so very misunderstood you are. [ he's trying to not snicker... ] If you want, I can bring you ice cream again tomorrow to soothe your mental ails.
no subject
it isn't about preferential treatment, it's just what the data points as the correct approach. there's no room for emotion. nobody wants to be challenged these days is the only conclusion he can reach.
as for kaiser- ]
Do you need mentorship? [ his eyes dart to the corner, then grabs kaiser's tattooed hand by the wrist and lifts it in a loose hold in-between them. ] Must I hold your hand like an attentive parent through glorified exhibition matches? Or are you still treating this like a joke?
no subject
Who knows, nobody's ever tried that approach on me. [ the answer is 'no', though, kaiser doesn't need to experience that to know he would hate it. ] Is this considered an attentive hand-hold?
[ it's tempting to reciprocate with every bit of his 80kg grip strength, but kaiser will refrain. he will squeeze noa's hand, though, as if testing whether he's going to be allowed to continue pushing across the line. ]
no subject
[ why, because noa has been giving attention to isagi? that kid is sharp, and hungry to advance, but he's blinded by admiration and emotion. he's missing the element that he knows kaiser has but has yet to uncover. he sees what's inside him, a true beast trapped in a fragile cage, and he wants to help him break it. noa wants to fight the most vicious version of kaiser that can be found.
his hand is squeezed and noa squeezes back, matching the intensity in equal measure while knowing he can make it tighter. his eyes sharpen in the way they do when he's staring down eleven enemies, ready to dismantle their positions one by one to score. ]
You have my attention. What do you want from it?
[ (the truth he won't say yet is that kaiser was his focus from the moment they entered this facility. he doesn't care about anyone else on this team but him.) ]
no subject
[ kaiser smiles horribly again. somebody who knows him well enough could probably imagine him practicing this one in a mirror — confident yet restrained, at somebody else's expense. he won't squeeze noa's hand any harder, but he does push his pinky and ring fingers between noa's for that saucy interlacing, rubbing the pad of his thumb against the muscular part of noa's palm, right underneath the thumb. he probably saw this in a movie or something, noa shouldn't read into the implications too much unless he wants to really delve into how broken kaiser came out of the metaphorical box.
also, kaiser will be sure to have a thorough cringe over this later, when certain reveals come out. ]
What does somebody want when they have a trophy? Holding it is the point, not the means.
no subject
[ of course the jab is uncalled for, but he knows it's a cheap shot and treats it as such. it doesn't do anything to him when it's so categorically ridiculous. he feels the same way when kaiser laces their fingers and massages his palm, watching the motion the way someone observes a mildly intriguing museum exhibit. it's happening to him and isn't. there's the physical reaction of his skin being touched and not a spark comes out of it. he feels nothing.
still, if nothing else, his attention is on kaiser. his phone is screen down on his chest, though his fingers are on the back ready to bring it up at a moment. ]
I'm not of the same mind as you. Trophies are just shiny trinkets, worthless once gained. I play for greater things. You should too, if you really plan on competing against me in the future.
no subject
[ to assert "i exist" to everybody else in the world — because if he doesn't win, there is no point in something called "michael kaiser" existing. he imagines this is close to how noa feels about it as well.
his will to survive is stronger than anybody else's in blue lock — others have their own reasons to seek victory, and kaiser wouldn't necessarily say that his desire for victory itself is intrinsically the strongest, but he's confident that nobody else is as desperate to simply have the right to continue existing as he is — and that noa shouldn't disagree with that. ]
Don't make this sound like a noble endeavor. [ he digs his fingers into the inside of noa's palm, squeezing hard; there will probably be marks from his fingernails left behind. ] Or like there's something that I have to be grateful to you for.
[ or in other words, be fake and unnecessary with kaiser, and he will happily return the favor. sure, he started this, but kaiser has never denied being a massive hypocrite. ]
no subject
kaiser digs his nails in and noa keeps his end of the squeeze firm as if it didn't happen. he feels 'pain' as a sensation and absorbs it. acknowledge, and move on. ]
Noble? No. You and I don't play for anyone but ourselves. That's how it should be. [ the ones who get the furthest are the ones with the greatest egos. there's nothing honorable about being a football player. a meaningless emotional concept. ] And as for gratitude? From you? I'm not holding my breath.
But by the time I'm done with you, you'll understand that the path you're on was built by my hands. That I showed you the way forward. And you won't be grateful, but you will know.
no subject
Don't get things wrong. You might have started this, but I'm the one who says when it ends, you piece of shit master. [ when noa's done with kaiser? wrong! when kaiser is done with noa. ] Building the path for others to overtake you on is just the natural course of things, don't get all prideful about something like this.
[ kaiser will not be letting that happen to himself, though. kaiser wants to go the toni kroos route of transferring from b*yern m*nich to re*l m*drid, earning himself the ire of germany in the process, and then retiring at his peak so nobody can say they beat him at his best. he is NOT going to be paving the way, thanks very much; if he's ray dark's special investment, then he's going to pay out when his value is maxed out and not feel like he owes the world of football a single thing.
at least, that's what kaiser thinks in the moment. what he'll actually do? who knows — certainly not kaiser himself. ]
Or what, do you want me to kiss your ass over it?
no subject
You don't get to decide when we're done. We're not equals.
[ not yet. kaiser has that potential though, an ego to rival his, and noa wants it out. but he can't do it, not on his own. only kaiser can free himself and bring about his evolution. all noa can do is create the means by which it occurs.
he meant it when he said he was getting bored though. he's so bored of nothing having anyone real to threaten him. loki is the closest and what a dull joke that is, an upstart accelerating through his career because he was a born cheater. it doesn't inspire him. he feels nothing from it.
he's so sick of not feeling anything. he tightens the squeeze of their hands, calculated as is the cold and even tone of his derision. ]
You're my experiment. I'm running tests to see if you're worth keeping around. To see if you even have a chance of making it to where I am. You're still frightened though... of what? Tell me.
no subject
I'm sure as hell not scared of you, if that's what you're getting at. [ kaiser squeezes back, unafraid of pain — but more than that, both confident that his freakish grip strength isn't going to lose and that if noa is telling the truth, then he isn't about to break kaiser's hand in a power play. ] What in the world do I even possibly have to fear?
[ he's not been seeing himself very clearly since entering blue lock, though, because the answer should be so obvious to himself. kaiser still thinks of himself as somebody who has nothing to lose, but has already begun to act otherwise. ]
Let's make one thing clear, though. I don't fear, trust, or idolize you... and I can barely scrape together the willpower to respect you. [ but a real hater recognizes another's accomplishments, so of course, kaiser begrudgingly has to show respect to the greatest in the world. ] If you want to run your shitty experiment, then isn't there clearly a better subject for your purposes?
[ kaiser's incorrect read of the situation is really tragic. he's assuming noa wants a successor, and from his perspective — well, yoichi is right there? ]
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I told you earlier that my old rival is running Blue Lock. His dream was to be the striker who could win Japan a World Cup. Now he's obsessed with creating that striker to fulfill his dream -- Yoichi Isagi is his avatar for that. Undeniably.
[ there are other strikers in this program, but he's spoken to isagi at length and knows that jin must have handpicked him. the 'heart' of blue lock, who evolves and brings out evolution in others. there's nothing remarkable about him on the surface, but he knows his old war buddy would never invest time into a player he didn't think was worthwhile. that much they have in common. ]
I don't want your idolatry nor your fear. As for trust - I suppose I haven't done much at all to earn it from you. You have mine, for whatever it may be worth.
[ which is nothing he's sure. he trusts kaiser can break through and fight with his ego instead of protecting it. he's always believed kaiser can become his rival, even if he's not there yet. he wants it for both of them. ]
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Then go fight with your old rival over custody like the pair of divorcees you apparently are and leave me out of it. He'd choose you if you asked, you know.
[ kaiser's heard all the oohing and ahhing that isagi does over noa — not because he wanted to hear, for the record, but isagi does it unprompted all the time? in the dining hall during meals, in the locker rooms after practice, just walking down the damn hallway. "it's so amazing, being under his guidance," he gushes. "did you see that formation he wants us to practice later? it's the same that the french national team used in the world cup match against—" it makes kaiser want to dry heave being forced to overhear it.
anyways, kaiser so deeply wishes they didn't have to have this conversation while he's sandwiched between noa and the wall and forced onto his side. but he asked for it... ]
... And keep your trust, I don't fucking want it. [ he's dropping his phone onto the bed because he's debating swatting at noa like the horrible angry cat that he is. but no, he can restrain himself, he can only imagine that would get him doubled retribution, if not more. ] If you want to give me something, then give me a damn break.
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in short - isagi is a strong player but too emotional. he isn't ready to throw everything away to win.
kaiser though? kaiser didn't have much at all growing up. all that he's gained so far is extremely precarious in nature. he could lose everything and have nothing to fall back on. noa was the same way. that isn't why he's interested in kaiser, but it would be a lie to say it isn't a factor. the foolish sentimentality of seeing yourself in the eyes of another.
but! the fact that kaiser is asking for a break? the nerve. ]
Oh, am I mistaken? Or wasn't this movie night meant to be your break? It was your idea. [ surely that was the idea right? this didn't happen because he was incorrectly messaged, right??? ] Maybe you should have left when you had the chance instead of rolling on my bed like a spoiled beast.
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I couldn't take a proper break. I was too preoccupied noticing that you were clearly not paying attention. [ this absolutely did not happen because noa was incorrectly messaged!! ] And getting chocolate dripped on me and whatnot.
[ how could he ever properly relax under such conditions... the sensitive soul that michael kaiser is... maybe noa should have watched the movie properly! then kaiser wouldn't have been forced to roll around in bed like a cat pissed off that he didn't get the treat he was expecting. ]
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Why do you think I couldn't focus? You took up space on my lap like an unruly animal. Frankly, I think bothering me was your real plan.
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[ stop doubting his sincerity! honestly, very arrogant of noa to assume everything is about him!! being a bother was just a nice side bonus. kaiser yanks his hand away and flops to the bed, boneless and getting his hair everywhere now. if it's weird to put the entire side of your face into somebody else's sheets: no it's not. ]
Is your focus so easily broken?
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Is my focus broken when you go out of your way to break my focus? I wonder. [ the results may be shocking! ] I made an honest effort to watch because I promised you the time. You pushed boundaries on purpose. You're still doing it now.
[ as he further nestles into his bed. washing the sheets is going to be a lost cause. ]
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he feels like noa will not be impressed by kaiser's self-aware self-assessment, though, so let him change what he was going to say: ] Tired. You literally set my training regimen, so you should know this.
[ kaiser is choosing to ignore the fact that it's objectively weird and boundary-pushing to lay down in the bed of your older team captain/coach/whatever. he doesn't care about that. so it doesn't matter! ]
I don't think you actually care that much about this boundary bullshit either. Don't conveniently use society's norms only when it benefits you.
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[ granted, this is not unique to kaiser. a lot of people in his life try to bait reactions out of him. he's come to understand this ribbing, playful or otherwise, is a consequence of being a stoic. they want to poke the tin man and see if he's really human underneath the steel shell. ]
But fine. It isn't about boundaries. I want to know your intentions. Are you trying to act provocative or are you dense?
[ should he just be more blunt and ask "are you hitting on me"? he doesn't think that's what this is but what else is he supposed to think? for a man of logic like noa, kaiser is simply too irrational to comprehend at times. this level of familiarity is... he isn't accustomed to it. ]
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What kind of binary is that? [ "hey, do you have whorish tendencies or are you just doopid?" is that the angle here? kaiser doesn't understand what is going on here anymore, which is all his own fault... ] Do I have to pick one and only one? Provocative, then.
[ that's what his reputation is like in the first place, being a bit of a provocateur in general — who else would introduce themselves to blue lock by immediately picking a fight but michael kaiser? still, kaiser likes to think he usually keeps his provocations from toeing over the line, because the risks that kaiser takes are (generally) calculated, and he is (usually) good at math. but he's so monumentally bad at reading noa that it can't be help that he's hard to read, he doesn't know what he's doing either. ]
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[ he doesn't mind his perception being challenged if he's so far off the mark. this largely applies to anything outside of active gameplay, where noa is confident he has the best read of the unfolding events. though even blue lock has been challenging him on that front to a degree. it's certainly been more interesting than he anticipated.
so fine, kaiser is being provocative. even if it's within a binary, he can deal with that. ]
Next question then: are you intending to stay here tonight or no?
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