outplayed | open post / overflow

But I do.

[ he isn't doing it for kaiser, in the way he doesn't do much of anything for anyone but himself. it'll bug him if he doesn't do some clean-up, so it'll get done until he's done or properly swiped away. the stains on the face are taken off and he'll let go of the cheek. however, then he takes a fresh napkin and dabs it against the hair. lucky the sharp blond contrast makes it easy to see where the stain is, and it's faster to remove. ]

There.

Okay, now get your face out of the way of the screen...

[ kaiser wants to appreciate the cinematography. in fact, fuck it, he's full on reaching over noa's lap and embracing having the personality of a horrible, spoiled cat as he lifts his chest across noa's legs to keep him from getting up again. or really, moving in any significant way that would prevent kaiser from his viewing pleasure. you don't get up when you want to get up: you get up when the cat on your lap permits it. ]

And finish your ice cream. [ kaiser's? long gone. ]

--Oof.

[ it's a small sound of protest, but the most he'll give. he glares at the back of kaiser's head, then stares them up to the ceiling as if to ask "god, are you there? if so - why me?"

whatever. it's awkward, but he's able to reach his ice cream from his set-up by drawing it a little closer with his fingers before grabbing it. he quickly shovels a couple scoops into his mouth to prevent any further melting, fast but efficient. the tiny brain freeze that creeps into his skull is a small price to pay for any further interruptions.

though, strangely, he enjoys it more like this. he can't be distracted by his worries when he just does it without thinking. he's not nearly as taken in by the movie as a result, but that's ok. he's a little too restless mentally for even his favorite films most days. he handles it better in a theater space, trapped in the dark, than when he knows he could be doing something more productive.

he's already thinking about taking his iPad and checking emails... well, he can't, because of a certain feral beast laying on him. while it would be easy to just pry him off, it does feel too rude after what just happened. ugh. when did he start getting soft?

so he sighs quietly and decides to try giving into the film again. the ice cream isn't done though and he doesn't think he can handle much more. the inelegant solution he decides on is to offer what remains by setting it on his knee. it won't obstruct kaiser's view, and noa won't poke him, so he just waits to see if its noticed in the periphery. ]

[ if kaiser had eyes on the back of his eyes to see noa staring up, then he would think to himself, oh, i know. he's thanking god because he's been blessed! not many people, after all, can know the pleasure of being used as kaiser's glorified cushion. he would be happy to inform noa later that he isn't even a comfortable cushion because of how muscular his thighs are, but it is what it is.

as it is, it's a good thing kaiser hasn't developed 360 vision, or else he would not be impressed by noa's attention clearly straying. but he does, in general, pay more attention to his peripheral vision than most people, without even actively thinking about it — the hazards of growing up needing to be constantly alert and ready to respond to avoidable issues. while he almost immediately notices noa's attempt to offer up the rest of his ice cream, kaiser refuses to look away from the movie; he reaches with his non-dominant hand to grope about for it, incidentally gripping noa's leg a few times before he manages to pick the cup of ice cream up.

it's melted enough that using the spoon isn't entirely useful, so he tilts his head back to sip the ice cream soup. then, continuing to be shameless, kaiser throws his arm over noa's lap next, elbow shoved against noa's thigh so that he can use the spoon properly for the rest. this is absurd behavior done so nonchalantly that it is clear kaiser truly thinks nothing of it... what is so strange about it? explain it to him in a way that he can understand. ]

[ if you can't appreciate his thighs, you can't appreciate him.

he's ready to just shove the cup into his hand when he blindly grips at his leg a few times, but instead he just moves it a little so that it slots into the hand faster. this is so absurd. who is more insane: kaiser for doing this, or noa for allowing it to keep happening?

then the elbows uncomfortably jabs him and the limits of his patience are reached. ]

Can you sit normally? [ :/ ] I won't interrupt your view of the movie anymore if that's the concern.

[ definitely noa is the less sane for this, because kaiser gets a scrap and he will latch his teeth in to guarantee future consequences. ]

What is so abnormal about this. Explain it to me.

[ say it!! kaiser isn't budging until he hears an explanation he can agree with, as unruly children often insist. he also doesn't even deign to glance up when saying this: to reiterate, he wants to watch movie. ]

You have five seconds to move before I make you move.

[ he is NOT explaining this! ]

Fine, do it.

[ he doesn't think he's calling a bluff, he's sure noa is being serious. but this is also kind of a win for kaiser: every time he annoys noa enough to make him do something like this, kaiser emotionally counts it as a victory against him. ]

[ the worst part is that noa would agree - this is definitely kaiser's win. but noa is accepting he walked into this as soon as he invited kaiser into his quarters. it was never going to end well. this is because, and noa knows best, they're both assholes who hate to lose.

so yes, kaiser can take the win in spirit. in practice, noa lifts him by the back collar with one hand and uses the other to assist with a strong shove forward. off he goes! ]

[ scruffed like a naughty cat and forced away, kaiser is nonetheless smug as can be as he plays up the force of impact, letting out a completely unnecessary but audible oof and all. but at least he doesn't struggle against his inevitable fate. ]

Be gentler with me... [ then he takes a bite of ice cream. of course, kaiser defended the ice cream perfectly throughout all of this... ] I'm more delicate than you.

[ you know, in the sense that a difference of 1 degree less technically means it's colder outside. anyways, kaiser will settle back onto noa's bed, he knows when a tactical retreat is an advantageous move. in fact, this is a good excuse to really obnoxiously settle in, pulling his knees up and all. ]

[ ok, credit when due: the fact that the ice cream survived is impressive. shame noa has no mercy in his heart, so kaiser's little false plea goes on deaf ears.

he's ready to tell kaiser to get off his bed too, but decides the brat has... well, no, he has not learned any lesson from this. noa isn't a brute though, and he doesn't want to wrestle, so he'll let kaiser settle into his bed. he's still not going to kick him out of the room even if he has all the grounds to do so. enjoy the movie!

however, now that he's free and frankly tuned out of this movie all together now, he's going to get up and grab his tablet off the console. he settles back into his seat and mutes the device, trying to decide if he wants to rewatch the pxg match versus manshine or barcha first. ]

[ noa has broken the expectation that they will both watch this movie and eat ice cream first, so kaiser feels he now has free reign to continue breaking expectations as he pleases. after finishing off the ice cream and setting the empty cup aside, he fully lays onto his side to continue watching the movie, apparently unbothered by noa's lack of interest. it's still a win for kaiser because of all the screens, and the fact that he can lounge like the natural lazyass he is without the intrusive big brother-esque blue lock cameras spectating him in his more base state.

incidentally, he also enjoys the movie. he enjoys it so much that after it ends, he can't get up and start excusing himself like a normal person, he has to pull out his phone and start writing notes to dissect what he liked about it. noa may have guessed this: he is not getting out like a normal person with manners might do in a timely manner. but also, what did he expect? ]

[ time goes on with the movie as the only source of noise. there are a couple moments that snap his eyes back to the screen, as the jazz mixed with chilling riffs gets especially intense, but they quickly wander back to his tablet.

he's jotting down notes with his stylus on one half of the screen and watching the game at half speed next to it, trying to recreate the plays beat by beat. pxg versus barcha gets intense, but that's not a surprise when lavi and loki's styles aren't too dissimilar. the split system is a smart way to keep the younger itoshi and shidou from clashing. charles could use some more coaching to not lose attention though.

an english song he remembers from his youth suddenly starts to play and he glances up to see the credits. well, that's that. he wraps up his notation as they roll, waiting for silence to fill the air before pushing his seat back into place and closing the file. there's a touch of regret that shenanigans ruined his own ability to watch the film, but he can always try again another time.

as for kaiser? well. it doesn't seem like he's in any rush to leave. what did he expect indeed? noa leans into his desk, hands tucked into his blue lock branded sweater jacket. he's just standing there... menacingly... for a few seconds before- ]

Do you want anything else?

[ before he leaves. naturally. ]

[ unfortunately, kaiser can more or less identify what game noa is watching just from the background noise because he has studied every single NEL match as if he has to write a dissertation on them. he was already not well and could have his attention completely absorbed watching matches like a toddler watching cocomelon, but blue lock has made him even worse. he won't bring this up because he doesn't want to talk about it, actually.

also, kaiser isn't intimidated by noa standing over him menacingly, but this should not be news to either of them. ]

... No, I'm alright, thank you.

[ he said "thank you", he's being polite.

then kaiser rolls onto his stomach to really start laying into this journal entry. he has a lot of thoughts about what he just saw. let him take his sweet time because maybe this behavior should be encouraged? he's having deep and multilayered thoughts about something that won't deeply harm his mentality and is improving his media literacy. ]

[ no, because writing lengthy reviews in letterbox does not contribute to the constant self-improvement grindset behind kicking the ball into the goal really really good. ]

Ok. Then I'll see you tomorrow.

[ :| ]

[ it's keeping his mind more stable which helps him maintain his mindset grindset long-term, believe him!! ]

Yeahhhh...

[ he's not listening. letterbox needs to know kaiser's novel thoughts, which have probably never been thought by anybody else before. also, he wants to know how far he can continue toeing the line here. ]

[ mental stability is for ubers. breaking down mid-game and throwing away your soul for goals? that's the noel noa way. ]

Don't make me kick you out. I'm tired too.

[ peepaw needs to rest. you hit your thirties and going to bed on time becomes a top priority. ]

[ to that, kaiser looks up and his face really says it all — beautiful smile, horrible expression. do it, peepaw... he is so curious what noa's next move will be. sure, noa can absolutely scruff again him and throw him out, but the really intriguing thing is what happens the moment kaiser is through the door and the cameras are back on, because noa should be fully anticipating that kaiser will make a Thing out of this. does he want to be today's most watched clip on blue lock tv? is he willing to gamble on how horrible kaiser will or won't be about this?

kaiser's so amped for this. it's terrible, it's elder abuse... ]

[ this is why he's not going to be sad when kaiser goes to re al. the owners are going to beg him to rush to the airport and stop kaiser from getting on that plane, and noa will go but only to say "good luck" and walk off. he doesn't need this. he also knows this is where the trouble begins, with that smile, that damned smile that declares his intention to cause problems on purpose.

so what's next? ideally, he gives kaiser a reason to leave instead of forcing him out. how does he do that? the clever route might be to turn on the screens, take a seat, and just do a replay of the manshine match to see if kaiser deteriorates over getting called a clown by both him and isagi at different points. but no, he'll let kaiser be his own worst enemy in that regard.

what he's left with is being petty. first, he unzips his jacket. he's wearing a black t-shirt with the sleeves cutting off at his biceps. then he steps out of his slippers, walks to the bed and, well, he's going to just sit down directly on kaiser if he doesn't try to shove him back. awful cat meet awful dog. ]

[ that would be a fine move, but noa is right to refrain, because the person who can inflict the most mental damage on kaiser is kaiser himself; in this context, it would piss him off, but he would be able to bear it because he'd know that noa really wants him out if that's the tactic he's resorting to.

also, wow! that is not how kaiser wants his back broken! it's more undignified than he wishes it were, but he scrambles a bit to roll onto his side to prevent himself from getting sat on, though his jacket is now partially stuck underneath noa's ass. ]

Are you that tired, old man? [ let him finish his review, and the other list of things that kaiser can find an excuse to do while already on his phone. ]

Yeah.

[ no, not really. he still wants to shower, clean his sheets, do his standard nightly rituals. he is not leaving him unattended in his office though, so that means the one thing he can do is settle into bed. unfortunately this is already a small bed even for him, so kaiser is basically getting crushed against the wall. what a shame! well, he had plenty of chances to leave.

noa digs his phone out of the pants pocket and starts checking his emails. his management handles the bulk of things, so this inbox is largely for corresponding with them and club managers. he's well known for his one sentence email responses! ]

All day I need to manage not just our team, but the Blue Lock players. Not to mention being ready to play myself because my peers are desperate for their three minutes of fame. Management wants us to find a way to extend our time here because us winning all our matches is bringing in new investors. It's taxing and you're all ungrateful about it.

[ this is like, half valid venting and half nonsense that he doesn't really care about. the point is to be aggravating, not even looking at kaiser as he lists it all off. ]

Awww... [ his tone is laced with fake concern over all of this. kaiser is well and truly crushed against the wall, but as best as possible, he is attempting to curl around noa, reaching around to pat him on the leg. ] I'm so sorry, is that all really difficult for you?

[ he's not even trying to sound like he actually cares, the point is that he doesn't and he's acting it up. is this what noa wanted by complaining about his burdens? for his sweet boywife not yet even twenty years of age to comfort him with his lap and his gentle hands? kaiser wants noa to feel like an older, even more disgusting version of leonardo luna with sae itoshi at the moment. in kaiser's demented head, he imagines this is what itoshi has been groomed into, although reality probably disagrees with that. ]

You could just not play if you don't want to, I don't mind. [ because. you know. what kaiser minds is the issue here. ]

[ he just bats that hand away like he would an annoying fly, still looking at his phone. if this is at all a compromising position, he doesn't care at the moment. the do not disturb sign is still up and his office doesn't have any cctv surveillance, so he will pretend this didn't happen tomorrow. ]

Oh, but I want us to win. And I can't trust you to do it, so I need to step in. You're a burden. You're boring me.

Mm. Does saying that make you feel good about yourself? [ kaiser is NOT falling for that bait... at this point, maybe this is more a battle of endurance. who will be unable to resist the temptation to take the bait first?

anyways, kaiser is a lot of things, but "boring" is not one of them. of that, he is extremely certain. ]

Relieving stress is necessary every now and again, I guess. Alright, then keep going...

[ he's making a show of listening carefully, propping his head up on a hand and tilting his head in a way that exposes even more of the blue rose tattoo on his neck than usual. he's still clutching his phone with his other hand, but sure, letterboxd can wait. ]

It isn't about what I feel, it's just reality.

[ he's still checking emails as he speaks, starting from the bottom and working his way up. his team at least knows he hates reading blocks of text. the faster to the point, the better. ]

I brought the best u-20 players our club has and you're all dropping off. The Blue Lock players get better and you all get worse. And when I give you my time, you throw my good will back at me.

What I don't understand is why. Is it because it's me? Or do you think you're above it all?

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